posted by Fab4Runnerit's more about morning sickness and feeling terrible for months for me. I haaaate throwing up. My mom never got sick, but you just never know.
Yea, weirdly my wife only got sick on that vacation right after finding out, then was never sick again. The fatigue has been the worst thing for her (I'll add bitchiness lol). It's crazy how different people's pregnancies can be
posted by ZunardoThe first time we went out for the evening without our first son was for a New Year's Eve dinner while my mother-in-law watched him - he was two months old, and we had some guilt pangs, for sure.
First full day without that son, he was 14 months old, and he stayed with my MIL while the wife and I rented a Hocking Hill cabin for a 3-day weekend.
Hell, I feel better. Ours is a whopping three weeks, and I'm already happy to have a day to myself.
posted by Verbal KintSleep! Maybe an action movie and an Irish Whiskey.
Oh, these will happen regardless of what else I do.
posted by Fab4RunnerI don't have kids, so my advice is probably no bueno. That said, I like the alcohol and sleep idea.
I do have a question for all you parents. I think I've asked it here before, but it's been a while and it's more relevant to me now. How did you decide it was time to have a baby? My husband and I have been married a little over a year, but have lived together for 4+. I'm also not super young...I'll be 33 in January. We know we want kids, but it's honestly still terrifying to me/us. Like, you have to keep a human being alive. You have to try not to fuck them up too badly. Being pregnant for 10 months does not seem enjoyable to me...and so on.
I'm pretty sure we're going to just go for it starting in February. I'm going on an 8 day vacation and as selfish as it is, I'm trying to get drunk several times, lol. Once I'm back, I think we'll just see what happens sans prevention.
I'm about your age (turned 34 in October), but we've been trying for nine years.
You'll never be "ready." There really is no "ready." If you are financially capable of supporting someone who goes through diapers and wipes like a junky goes through meth, you're as ready as you can be, I think.
posted by TBone14The possibilites are endless. Could meet up with some buddies for a beer at a watering hole. Sometimes, a night in alone is total bliss, though.
Go to the best meat market in you area and get a super thick ribeye. Fry that bad boy up in a hot cast iron skillet (no sides necessary- it's just you). Get some good beer, bourbon (or whatever you poison is) or wine and binge watch a show or a movie your wife wouldn't like. Not a great sports night but gambling on some basketball games is fun.
I like how you think. I have tentative plans to hit the cigar lounge in the Valley with a few beers and a buddy or two. May do the steak thing if I'm feeling up for grilling something.
posted by BoatShoesI would say just "do what you and only you want to do" - even if that means sitting and doing nothing. For me that is the biggest thing is that when you have the munchkin or wife around you have to always consider them when you want to do something. Just try to enjoy that I guess.
Hell, I might channel my inner college student and play video games before cigars.
posted by QuakerOatsWell, if you do anything that could be construed as fun, you may get a lecture. Lay low, have a beer or two, get some stuff done around the house.
I actually don't get too many lectures even when wife and child are around and I go off to do something fun. Tonight, there's just no need to make "arrangements."
As for stuff around the house, I put plastic on all the large windows and changed the porch light bulbs already. I'm happy with that.
posted by iclfan2Yea, weirdly my wife only got sick on that vacation right after finding out, then was never sick again. The fatigue has been the worst thing for her (I'll add bitchiness lol). It's crazy how different people's pregnancies can be
I'll put this exactly how I said it to my wife's face: she was Pregzilla. Wasn't sick too much. Slept pretty much the entire first trimester (was pretty significantly anemic). But for the last six months, she was a grouch around the clock.
I can't totally blame her. She was growing a person. But the truth remains. She was hard to be around.
Getting married begins the journey, having children is the new adventure. This start the morphing that it is no longer about you, being a husband and then a father there is no room for selfcenterness. Wake up now its not about you it's about them and once you understand this its a wonderful, rewarding and powerful modivation. When you have that spare alone time do something for the family that will make a small difference .. Fix the door, paint the hall, repair the car, clean the carpet, change out the wall sockets time a wasting and there is never enough time. Do this and there is a bigger pay out in the end... Family
We planned for our first kid but that did work miscarriage, this hurt, pain and frustration was devastating. We decided that planning was to much, so we just when back to enjoying each other, having fun and living without that stress to have children..it will happen when it happens and we will embrace Gods plan.
posted by O-TrapLittle O-Trapette was born on the 22nd of last month. Since then, the only time she's left me was when my wife took her to the grandparents' house for an afternoon. However, my wife is leaving for Columbus tomorrow before I wake up for work, and I will be joining them on Saturday for a Christmas party.
That does effectively leave me with a "free" day tomorrow. Granted, I still work, but aside from that, I've got an evening with no wife and child.
The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?
Guilt? WTF!?
posted by ernest_t_bassGuilt? WTF!?
Feeling happy about NOT being around my child ... yeah, there was a little guilt about that.
posted by O-TrapFeeling happy about NOT being around my child ... yeah, there was a little guilt about that.
It's called a break. Parenthood is some tough stuff, ESPECIALLY of a newborn. It's OK to get away... for both you AND the little tyke.
posted by ernest_t_bassIt's called a break. Parenthood is some tough stuff, ESPECIALLY of a newborn. It's OK to get away... for both you AND the little tyke.
Cognitively, I understand that.
Emotionally, I still felt bad about wanting to be away from a little person after just three weeks after we've been trying for her for nine years. I get it, and I have another break from her (and the wife) in January. I don't feel bad for taking it. I feel bad for being glad they're not around. LOL
posted by Belly35Getting married begins the journey, having children is the new adventure. This start the morphing that it is no longer about you, being a husband and then a father there is no room for selfcenterness. Wake up now its not about you it's about them and once you understand this its a wonderful, rewarding and powerful modivation. When you have that spare alone time do something for the family that will make a small difference .. Fix the door, paint the hall, repair the car, clean the carpet, change out the wall sockets time a wasting and there is never enough time. Do this and there is a bigger pay out in the end... Family
We planned for our first kid but that did work miscarriage, this hurt, pain and frustration was devastating. We decided that planning was to much, so we just when back to enjoying each other, having fun and living without that stress to have children..it will happen when it happens and we will embrace Gods plan.
I did not do this.
I think rest is a significantly undervalued activity. I don't do enough of it regularly, so I took that night to do it. Did go have a cigar with a buddy, but other than that, I just relaxed.
posted by O-TrapCognitively, I understand that.
Emotionally, I still felt bad about wanting to be away from a little person after just three weeks after we've been trying for her for nine years. I get it, and I have another break from her (and the wife) in January. I don't feel bad for taking it. I feel bad for being glad they're not around. LOL
I'm happy every day when I walk out my door and leave the wife at home... lol
posted by ernest_t_bassI'm happy every day when I walk out my door and leave the wife at home... lol
This feels like experience talking. LOL
I don't mind being home with my wife. I do mind working from home with my stay-at-home wife. She sometimes forgets that I do still have a job, even though I don't leave the house each morning.
