Engagement Rings

Also, the 3 month rule is absurd. I'm not spending 25% of my yearly salary on a ring for that price i could buy a fucking car. if my wife's ring is lost/stolen/destroyed, who gives a shit. i'll just go buy a new one. i think these dummies in my generation that spend 10k on a ring and, then insurance on the ring for life are stupid. 

posted by SportsAndLady

I don’t think so at all (your last sentence). Why is it so bad that my fiancé gets happy that I spent money on a ring so that she can flaunt it around (when asked..she wouldn’t do it unless asked about it)? My fiancé didn’t ask for an expensive ring, I got her one because I knew it would make her happy  

I think ETB’s and OSH’s problem is they think it’s a waste to buy something expensive for their SO, whereas I want to becuase it makes her happy. 

Would she have been as happy getting engaged with a $4000 ring?

posted by Automatik

 

The key is to find someone who doesn't value what I just quoted, which is rare these days.

I was extremely fortunate. The money being discussed here is more than we needed for a down payment to build our first house. There is no question which one my wife preferred.

posted by Automatik

Let's be real here. The only reason to spend a lot on a ring is so the woman can tell her friends and family, which some will translate to the "omg he spent that, he must really love you!"

The key is to find someone who doesn't value what I just quoted, which is rare these days.

I did not tell my wife how much I spent. She still doesn't know (been almost 5 years). You can tell it is quality when looking at it, but she wouldn't really have been able to tell the difference had I spent a few thousand less either.

The custom band was the biggest thing she "wanted". Kind of a rope crossover looking thing (knocked off Davis Yurman). 

posted by justincredible

Would she have been as happy getting engaged with a $4000 ring?

Yes

Also, just to clarify....I'm probably in the minority regarding my thoughts on marriage, weddings, ring, etc. 

I just think the money people are willing to spend on the whole package is fucking insane. 

If I ever were to get married, ideally I'd stroll into the court house with my immediate family and closest friends, sign the papers, party my ass off, then leave for an epic trip the next morning.

posted by SportsAndLady

I think ETB’s and OSH’s problem is they think it’s a waste to buy something expensive for their SO, whereas I want to becuase it makes her happy. 

Negative.  My wife isn't materialistic.  Are you familiar with the "Five Love Languages"?  It's a stupid book.  Anyway, gift giving (material things) is the last of the 5 for my wife.  She appreciates gifts, yes, but she puts greater value on intangible things.

Hope this helps.

posted by justincredible

Would she have been as happy getting engaged with a $4000 ring?

That's preposterous!! 

posted by Automatik

If I ever were to get married, ideally I'd stroll into the court house with my immediate family and closest friends, sign the papers, party my ass off, then leave for an epic trip the next morning.

We had about 20 family and friends, had the reception at home. The epic trip was a long weekend to Sandusky/Put-in-Bay as I had just changed jobs and didn't have the time off.

posted by justincredible

Would she have been as happy getting engaged with a $4000 ring?

posted by SportsAndLady

Yes

In my opinion, then, the ring was more about you, than it was her.  
 

posted by Automatik

Also, just to clarify....I'm probably in the minority regarding my thoughts on marriage, weddings, ring, etc. 

I just think the money people are willing to spend on the whole package is fucking insane. 

 

Agreed. 

posted by Automatik

Also, just to clarify....I'm probably in the minority regarding my thoughts on marriage, weddings, ring, etc. 

I just think the money people are willing to spend on the whole package is fucking insane. 

If I ever were to get married, ideally I'd stroll into the court house with my immediate family and closest friends, sign the papers, party my ass off, then leave for an epic trip the next morning.

If I were to do it all over again, yes, this would be the way to go. I don't know the final tally spent on our wedding (her parents paid for most), but I know it was a stupid amount that would've been a nice downpayment on a house. But we were young and dumb, so whatever.

posted by ernest_t_bass

 

posted by SportsAndLady

Yes

In my opinion, then, the ring was more about you, than it was her.  
 

 

This isn't very difficult to understand. Some people put higher priorities on things than others. I wanted to buy my fiance' a nice ring because a) she's awesome and b) she would enjoy the compliments. You wouldn't want to spend a lot on your SO because you're cheap and you actually believe your SO when she says she doesn't like gifts. 

IMO, cheap and wise are synonymous when it comes to financial matters on most things.

posted by Automatik

If I ever were to get married, ideally I'd stroll into the court house with my immediate family and closest friends, sign the papers, party my ass off, then leave for an epic trip the next morning.

This thread really went down the rabbit hole. But I think a wedding is a way better waste than a ring. I cringe thinking about how much we spent/ were given by our parents. 

posted by iclfan2

This thread really went down the rabbit hole. But I think a wedding is a way better waste than a ring. I cringe thinking about how much we spent/ were given by our parents. 

Absolutely. When you drop $30k on a wedding, you wake up the next day and it’s done. Bye bye $30k. 

When you buy a ring, you’re buying an appraised piece of real property that someone will be wearing for the rest of their lives.  I don’t understand how the two seen being prepared. 

posted by justincredible

If I were to do it all over again, yes, this would be the way to go. I don't know the final tally spent on our wedding (her parents paid for most), but I know it was a stupid amount that would've been a nice downpayment on a house. But we were young and dumb, so whatever.

If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Once is enough. 

posted by friendfromlowry

If I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't. Once is enough. 

Fair enough. If something were to happen and I found myself single again, I'm not sure I'd ever get married again. It would certainly be a courthouse deal if I did.

posted by SportsAndLady

 

The only judgment I’ve had is cracking fun at someone for spending $750 on a ring.

Hmm...

posted by SportsAndLady

Diamonds are not a scam. You’re just cheap and have no style. And LOL @ you thinking your son is going to listen to ANYTHING you say at that point. Hopefully he buys a nice diamond ring for his fiancé and doesn’t think like you do. 

posted by SportsAndLady

This isn't very difficult to understand. Some people put higher priorities on things than others. I wanted to buy my fiance' a nice ring because a) she's awesome and b) she would enjoy the compliments. You wouldn't want to spend a lot on your SO because you're cheap and you actually believe your SO when she says she doesn't like gifts. 

i wouldn't say either of those things. i spent what i spent on her because we wanted symbols of our feelings for each other. NOT symbols of our wealth. I feel like you and i both chose mates that are perfect for us. your girl hangs with people that would notice and compliment her ring (which in turn is a compliment to you). my wife and i hang with people who would never notice or care about that, which suits us more than fine.

in no world would someone look at the ring i bought, sitting next to the ring you bought and think "S&L loves his wife more than j_crazy. because he spent 40 times more on the ring."  It is what it is man, your ring i'm sure is beautiful and will be an heirloom for your family. I'll never wrap my head around it but i appreciate it. I never wanted an heirloom, i want my wife to go to the grave with that cheap POS on her finger.

I should probably note that i deal with man made diamonds for about 25% of my day to day work, so that is why i'm so largely jaded to these things. I've been to these giant facilities in Utah where they can make a diamond of any shape, color and spec you want, i buy them for as little as $150 per (granted not gem standard, but even those aren't wildly expensive), then i beat the ever living shit out of them drilling holes in the earth till they get destroyed.