Ohio Chatter

First full day without our daughter

Serious Business
O-Trap Chief Shenanigans Officer
18,909 posts 140 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 5:51 PM

Little O-Trapette was born on the 22nd of last month.  Since then, the only time she's left me was when my wife took her to the grandparents' house for an afternoon.  However, my wife is leaving for Columbus tomorrow before I wake up for work, and I will be joining them on Saturday for a Christmas party.

That does effectively leave me with a "free" day tomorrow.  Granted, I still work, but aside from that, I've got an evening with no wife and child.

The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?

Commander of Awesome Senior Pwner
24,621 posts 244 reps Joined May 2010
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 6:14 PM

I get drunk and watch basketball.
O-Trap Chief Shenanigans Officer
18,909 posts 140 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 6:16 PM
posted by Commander of Awesome

I get drunk and watch basketball.

I have to get up early the next day.  I'm not young enough to do the whole night-of-drinking-early-morning thing anymore.

But I like where your head's at.
Commander of Awesome Senior Pwner
24,621 posts 244 reps Joined May 2010
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 6:28 PM
posted by O-Trap

I have to get up early the next day.  I'm not young enough to do the whole night-of-drinking-early-morning thing anymore.

But I like where your head's at.

Just depeneds on when you start. I can't really drink enough to get hung over anymore as I'll pass out on the couch. 3 beers does me pretty nice.
Zunardo Senior Member
815 posts 15 reps Joined Nov 2010
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 8:18 PM

The first time we went out for the evening without our first son was for a New Year's Eve dinner while my mother-in-law watched him - he was two months old, and we had some guilt pangs, for sure.

First full day without that son, he was 14 months old, and he stayed with my MIL while the wife and I rented a Hocking Hill cabin for a 3-day weekend. 

 
Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 168 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 8:37 PM
posted by Commander of Awesome

I get drunk and watch basketball.

At first I thought you were going with a Tiernan impression
Verbal Kint Senior Member
1,062 posts 16 reps Joined Jul 2017
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 8:45 PM
posted by O-Trap

what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?

 Sleep!  Maybe an action movie and an Irish Whiskey.
Fab4Runner Tits McGee
6,997 posts 64 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Dec 14, 2017 9:26 PM

I don't have kids, so my advice is probably no bueno. That said, I like the alcohol and sleep idea. 

I do have a question for all you parents. I think I've asked it here before, but it's been a while and it's more relevant to me now. How did you decide it was time to have a baby? My husband and I have been married a little over a year, but have lived together for 4+. I'm also not super young...I'll be 33 in January. We know we want kids, but it's honestly still terrifying to me/us. Like, you have to keep a human being alive. You have to try not to fuck them up too badly. Being pregnant for 10 months does not seem enjoyable to me...and so on. 

I'm pretty sure we're going to just go for it starting in February. I'm going on an 8 day vacation and as selfish as it is, I'm trying to get drunk several times, lol. Once I'm back, I think we'll just see what happens sans prevention. 
OSH Kosh B'Gosh
4,424 posts 18 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 7:59 AM

My wife and I love kids. We waited until we were somewhat ready. What is ready? It depends on the family. For us, it was settling into a place we knew we'd be for a bit. My wife was on birth control (mainly for endometriosis). But, we decided it was time to get the drugs out of her system. Supposedly it takes roughly 6 months for that to work, but she ended up getting pregnant in 3 months. So...I guess we were "ready!"

Now, we are going on child 3. Wouldn't have it any other way. Kids have been amazing. It's a bit of a struggle financially at times, which we expected with our careers (coach and teacher). There's a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes on the backs. My wife loves the pregnancy time, in the last couple of months is when it's the most challenging and ready to deliver. Seeing baby for the first time makes it all worth it. Then, seeing them develop, learn, and mature puts the pregnancy stuff as an afterthought.
Con_Alma Senior Member
12,320 posts 31 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 9:04 AM
posted by Fab4Runner

I don't have kids, so my advice is probably no bueno. That said, I like the alcohol and sleep idea. 

I do have a question for all you parents. I think I've asked it here before, but it's been a while and it's more relevant to me now. How did you decide it was time to have a baby? My husband and I have been married a little over a year, but have lived together for 4+. I'm also not super young...I'll be 33 in January. We know we want kids, but it's honestly still terrifying to me/us. Like, you have to keep a human being alive. You have to try not to fuck them up too badly. Being pregnant for 10 months does not seem enjoyable to me...and so on. 

I'm pretty sure we're going to just go for it starting in February. I'm going on an 8 day vacation and as selfish as it is, I'm trying to get drunk several times, lol. Once I'm back, I think we'll just see what happens sans prevention. 

I don't know that anyone can really answer this for you and your husband.  I'm sure the criteria for being "ready" is probably a little diferent for each couple.  I think you to two will come to terms on your own and the answer will reveal itself.  I wouldn't overthink it though.  Therres some emotion in the equation and it's probably not all based on rational.

 

My wife and I were married for 7 years before we had our first.  Once we were in a position to not need two incomes we stopped protecting against a pregnancy.  Good luck to you two!
iclfan2 Reppin' the 330/216/843
9,465 posts 100 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 9:34 AM
posted by Fab4Runner

How did you decide it was time to have a baby?

We had been together for 4ish years as well, but I am 31 and my wife will be 30 in February.  After getting off birth control it took us about a year to get pregnant. Funny about your post, my wife took a test right before a week in Key West (which was positive), needless to say her vacation was not as fun as mine. 

The risk for a pregnancy at 35 or older (for a woman) would make me nervous, but I have a few neighbors who have done it at 35 with no problems. We figured it was ready when we both had solid incomes and little debt besides the normal, and we really aren't into the going out until super late scene anyway, so it isn't as much to "give up".
TBone14 Senior Member
6,357 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 9:42 AM
posted by Fab4Runner

I don't have kids, so my advice is probably no bueno. That said, I like the alcohol and sleep idea. 

I do have a question for all you parents. I think I've asked it here before, but it's been a while and it's more relevant to me now. How did you decide it was time to have a baby? My husband and I have been married a little over a year, but have lived together for 4+. I'm also not super young...I'll be 33 in January. We know we want kids, but it's honestly still terrifying to me/us. Like, you have to keep a human being alive. You have to try not to fuck them up too badly. Being pregnant for 10 months does not seem enjoyable to me...and so on. 

I'm pretty sure we're going to just go for it starting in February. I'm going on an 8 day vacation and as selfish as it is, I'm trying to get drunk several times, lol. Once I'm back, I think we'll just see what happens sans prevention. 

You'll never be ready and there is never a convienient time to be pregnant and not be able to drink for 9 months. My wife and our friends all like to drink and the not drinking during events/parties/random nights at somebodies house is the worst part for all them. Being pregnant just seems like the absolute worst but it's worth it in the end. 

So my advice would be if you want a kid, just do it. You will make it work plus you never know how long it'll take so might as well start trying. 
Fab4Runner Tits McGee
6,997 posts 64 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 9:58 AM
posted by Con_Alma

I don't know that anyone can really answer this for you and your husband.  I'm sure the criteria for being "ready" is probably a little diferent for each couple.  I think you to two will come to terms on your own and the answer will reveal itself.  I wouldn't overthink it though.  Therres some emotion in the equation and it's probably not all based on rational.

 

My wife and I were married for 7 years before we had our first.  Once we were in a position to not need two incomes we stopped protecting against a pregnancy.  Good luck to you two!

Oh, I totally get that. I guess I'm just hoping that other people also found it scary af, lol. 

 

posted by iclfan2

We had been together for 4ish years as well, but I am 31 and my wife will be 30 in February.  After getting off birth control it took us about a year to get pregnant. Funny about your post, my wife took a test right before a week in Key West (which was positive), needless to say her vacation was not as fun as mine. 

The risk for a pregnancy at 35 or older (for a woman) would make me nervous, but I have a few neighbors who have done it at 35 with no problems. We figured it was ready when we both had solid incomes and little debt besides the normal, and we really aren't into the going out until super late scene anyway, so it isn't as much to "give up".

 

I'm not super worried about the over 35 thing. I know a lot of women who have had babies in their mid-to-late 30s. My sister in law just had one at 39. I know there are risks, and I wouldn't start trying for my first at like 37, but that doesn't really make me nervous. I do like to drink, but it's more about morning sickness and feeling terrible for months for me. I haaaate throwing up. My mom never got sick, but you just never know. 

 

posted by TBone14

You'll never be ready and there is never a convienient time to be pregnant and not be able to drink for 9 months. My wife and our friends all like to drink and the not drinking during events/parties/random nights at somebodies house is the worst part for all them. Being pregnant just seems like the absolute worst but it's worth it in the end. 

So my advice would be if you want a kid, just do it. You will make it work plus you never know how long it'll take so might as well start trying. 

This is basically where we're at. I think it probably doesn't help that literally no one in our immediate friend group has kids yet. One is pregnant, but she lives in South Dakota so even that isn't super real to us, and one is trying, but nothing yet. 
 

 
TBone14 Senior Member
6,357 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 10:07 AM
posted by O-Trap

Little O-Trapette was born on the 22nd of last month.  Since then, the only time she's left me was when my wife took her to the grandparents' house for an afternoon.  However, my wife is leaving for Columbus tomorrow before I wake up for work, and I will be joining them on Saturday for a Christmas party.

That does effectively leave me with a "free" day tomorrow.  Granted, I still work, but aside from that, I've got an evening with no wife and child.

The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?

The possibilites are endless. Could meet up with some buddies for a beer at a watering hole. Sometimes, a night in alone is total bliss, though. 

Go to the best meat market in you area and get a super thick ribeye. Fry that bad boy up in a hot cast iron skillet (no sides necessary- it's just you). Get some good beer, bourbon (or whatever you poison is) or wine and binge watch a show or a movie your wife wouldn't like. Not a great sports night but gambling on some basketball games is fun. 
ts1227 Senior Member
12,351 posts 39 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 10:17 AM

Get drunk. I still haven’t been able to do that since ours were born.

 

Fab, in terms of the pregnancy symptoms it’s just so damn hard to predict what will happen. I wouldn’t let it hold you back too much because there’s nothing you can do to change it, it’s just random it seems.  My wife had friends puking daily, but her mom had next to no symptoms when she had her, and she had next to no symptoms with ours. Never puked, worked up until 6 days before they were born. Sure by the end she wasn’t moving well because with 15 3/4 pounds of baby in there she was walking around like she was smuggling a Volkswagen, but even she talks about how “easy” it was today.
salto Senior Member
2,693 posts 14 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 12:20 PM

 

posted by O-Trap


The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?
BoatShoes Senior Member
5,991 posts 23 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 12:46 PM
posted by O-Trap

Little O-Trapette was born on the 22nd of last month.  Since then, the only time she's left me was when my wife took her to the grandparents' house for an afternoon.  However, my wife is leaving for Columbus tomorrow before I wake up for work, and I will be joining them on Saturday for a Christmas party.

That does effectively leave me with a "free" day tomorrow.  Granted, I still work, but aside from that, I've got an evening with no wife and child.

The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?

I would say just "do what you and only you want to do" - even if that means sitting and doing nothing. For me that is the biggest thing is that when you have the munchkin or wife around you have to always consider them when you want to do something. Just try to enjoy that I guess. 
BoatShoes Senior Member
5,991 posts 23 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 12:59 PM
posted by Fab4Runner

I don't have kids, so my advice is probably no bueno. That said, I like the alcohol and sleep idea. 

I do have a question for all you parents. I think I've asked it here before, but it's been a while and it's more relevant to me now. How did you decide it was time to have a baby? My husband and I have been married a little over a year, but have lived together for 4+. I'm also not super young...I'll be 33 in January. We know we want kids, but it's honestly still terrifying to me/us. Like, you have to keep a human being alive. You have to try not to fuck them up too badly. Being pregnant for 10 months does not seem enjoyable to me...and so on. 

I'm pretty sure we're going to just go for it starting in February. I'm going on an 8 day vacation and as selfish as it is, I'm trying to get drunk several times, lol. Once I'm back, I think we'll just see what happens sans prevention. 

I think your "see what happens sans protection" after the vacay is a good approach.

To be honest I didn't feel ready when my wife was ready but I don't think I would've ever really been "ready" as in as mentally prepared. We partied all through the summer and then as fall and winter was coming we thought there'd be less FOMO from wanting to go out and such and so I think a good rule of thumb might be to try and shoot for a time when you'll have less FOMO. However my wife found that she thought it sucked to not be able to drink during the holidays and that after the baby was born in June we weren't really prepared that when you have a newborn it is tough to enjoy the summer weather. 

So our thinking is actually that it would be preferable next time for her to try  and be pregnant over the summer as when you're pregnant you can still be out and enjoy the weather and the sun and shoot for having the newborn in the fall and winter when things start slowing down.

That's my two cents.
Verbal Kint Senior Member
1,062 posts 16 reps Joined Jul 2017
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 1:39 PM
posted by Fab4Runner

Oh, I totally get that. I guess I'm just hoping that other people also found it scary af, lol. 

 

Yeah, you are responsible for a life.  Instincts kick in and you will know what to do.

 
QuakerOats Senior Member
11,701 posts 66 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 2:11 PM
posted by O-Trap

Little O-Trapette was born on the 22nd of last month.  Since then, the only time she's left me was when my wife took her to the grandparents' house for an afternoon.  However, my wife is leaving for Columbus tomorrow before I wake up for work, and I will be joining them on Saturday for a Christmas party.

That does effectively leave me with a "free" day tomorrow.  Granted, I still work, but aside from that, I've got an evening with no wife and child.


The little twinge of guilt for feeling a little happy about a day "off" aside, what would you fathers on here do with a free evening?

Well, if you do anything that could be construed as fun, you may get a lecture.  Lay low, have a beer or two, get some stuff done around the house.  
FatHobbit Senior Member
9,058 posts 68 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 15, 2017 2:40 PM
posted by Fab4Runner

Oh, I totally get that. I guess I'm just hoping that other people also found it scary af, lol. 

It's definitely scary. And you will make mistakes. But kids are resilient and they will be ok. And next time you'll know what you did wrong and you'll make completely different mistakes. Lol. 

 

My first kid was unplanned in college, so i definitely wasn't ready.  Then when i got married my wife was ready to have kids before i was, so once again i wasn't ready. But like others said I don't know if i ever would have really been ready. 

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