Cheating in a Relationship

geeblock Member
1,123 posts 0 reps Joined May 2018
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 11:56 AM

Anyone ever successfully done it?  I swear in my whole life outside of maybe on a guys  trip somewhere, I have never had a friend or relative get away with cheating.  Even if it takes 3-4 years later, it always comes out.  This week my brother in law who has been caught before just recently got caught again from some stuff he did in 2015 while his wife was pregnant.  Apparently his wife was in her facebook messenger and there is a place in there where messages go from people that arent your friends.  Well two different women messaged her in 2015 and 2016 to let her know that she was being cheated on.  Needless to say we are all very disappointing because they just had their second child 2 months ago.  But anyway yeah dont cheat because eventually it always comes out in my experience.  The first time you make the girl mad she is telling your wife/girlfriend. 


Automatik Senior Member
15,737 posts 99 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 12:09 PM

Wow, kids and a repeat offender.

Your bro in law is a scumbag and your sister is dumb for taking him back.

I've never done it or even attempted. I'm a shit liar and karma is real.

geeblock Member
1,123 posts 0 reps Joined May 2018
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 12:13 PM
posted by Automatik

Wow, kids and a repeat offender.

Your bro in law is a scumbag and your sister is dumb for taking him back.

I've never done it or even attempted. I'm a shit liar and karma is real.

true scumbag and she treats him great.  I feel bad for her, she always takes him back and now with this second kid im not sure if she can leave financially.  I also have never done it or attempted, because of him i basically live with a private detective and on top of that, im too lazy for all that.  Cheating basically is a full time job just to get laid, id rather just be nice to my fiance and try to spice up things at home when i get bored.  edit: it is my fiance's sister

Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 168 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 12:28 PM

A different stance on the women’s side of things....I know a couple different women who have taken their cheating husbands back because they’ll be damned if a pos woman is going to raise her children.

🤷🏻‍♂️

33,369 posts 133 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 4:32 PM

I did it in High School. I regret it. Definitely shouldn’t have been dating at 16-18, but it was the thing to do — so to speak. I hurt someone I cared about and, I guess on the positive side, became a much better guy/man because of it. I don’t take my wife for granted and it softened me up, and probably made me a better husband/dad today.

Since then, never even a thought. I was cheated on before I cheated (different relationship). I wasn’t nearly as hurt (because I’m a guy, I guess??) and could get “mine” elsewhere, including back with that girl multiple times. However, when I did it, my GF was crushed and I still to this day get a lump when something reminds me of it.

geeblock Member
1,123 posts 0 reps Joined May 2018
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 6:26 PM
posted by Ironman92

A different stance on the women’s side of things....I know a couple different women who have taken their cheating husbands back because they’ll be damned if a pos woman is going to raise her children.

🤷🏻‍♂️

Yea I have seen that before, I have even seen women without kids stay with a cheater just so he won’t get with the woman he cheated with, like just to “win”. But yea sis you really losing 

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 250 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 9:05 PM

It definitely wouldn't be worth the effort needed, and I'd feel like total shit anyway. 

BRF Senior Member
11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 11:12 PM

I got cheated on. 
 

After 13 years of marriage, I walked In to a “got home too soon”  situation. .......with a 17 year old. 

There had been some rumors.  I couldn’t believe that an adult would do such things,  

Turns out that several people, some that I knew personally, knew what was going on.

I confronted some of those people and their response was that they knew I would get mad..............um......yeah.

I have dismissed those people from my life.

Now the good news is that I found a wonderful life partner who is my wife and we added 3 more children to our family.

I was able to obtain custody of my 3 children from the previous marriage (and I’m kind of a pioneer on the man getting custody on that).

Anyhow, I’ve been happily married to a loyal wife for, coming up in January, 29 years.

 

Also.....there were people, including professionals, encouraging me to “try to make it work”.  And my response was “no thank you”.  
 

I could not imagine being my age now (66) and living with that baggage. 
 

I regret nothing.  I am grateful for the time line of what happened.

Because it set up the situation for me to find my true love life friend.

 

FatHobbit Senior Member
9,058 posts 68 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 17, 2019 11:25 PM

I have a friend from high school who is a serial cheater and probably a sex addict. He cheats all the time and I have never gone out with him when he didn't get laid. He's also twice divorced so he's been caught a few times. 

Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 168 reps Joined Nov 2009
Wed, Dec 18, 2019 10:14 AM
posted by BRF

I got cheated on. 
 

After 13 years of marriage, I walked In to a “got home too soon”  situation. .......with a 17 year old. 

There had been some rumors.  I couldn’t believe that an adult would do such things,  

Turns out that several people, some that I knew personally, knew what was going on.

I confronted some of those people and their response was that they knew I would get mad..............um......yeah.

I have dismissed those people from my life.

Now the good news is that I found a wonderful life partner who is my wife and we added 3 more children to our family.

I was able to obtain custody of my 3 children from the previous marriage (and I’m kind of a pioneer on the man getting custody on that).

Anyhow, I’ve been happily married to a loyal wife for, coming up in January, 29 years.

 

Also.....there were people, including professionals, encouraging me to “try to make it work”.  And my response was “no thank you”.  
 

I could not imagine being my age now (66) and living with that baggage. 
 

I regret nothing.  I am grateful for the time line of what happened.

Because it set up the situation for me to find my true love life friend.

 

So she was like mid 30’s and sleeping with a 17 year old? How does that relationship even start?

jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Wed, Dec 18, 2019 10:17 AM

Never have. Had a quite obviously chance once on a long business trip and it still was not "for me". 

 

I would leave/get a divorce before I would cheat.

Heretic Son of the Sun
20,517 posts 204 reps Joined Nov 2009
Wed, Dec 18, 2019 11:15 AM
posted by BRF

I got cheated on. 
 

After 13 years of marriage, I walked In to a “got home too soon”  situation. .......with a 17 year old. 

There had been some rumors.  I couldn’t believe that an adult would do such things,  

Turns out that several people, some that I knew personally, knew what was going on.

I confronted some of those people and their response was that they knew I would get mad..............um......yeah.

I have dismissed those people from my life.

Now the good news is that I found a wonderful life partner who is my wife and we added 3 more children to our family.

I was able to obtain custody of my 3 children from the previous marriage (and I’m kind of a pioneer on the man getting custody on that).

Anyhow, I’ve been happily married to a loyal wife for, coming up in January, 29 years.

 

Also.....there were people, including professionals, encouraging me to “try to make it work”.  And my response was “no thank you”.  
 

I could not imagine being my age now (66) and living with that baggage. 
 

I regret nothing.  I am grateful for the time line of what happened.

Because it set up the situation for me to find my true love life friend.

 

That is insane. But glad things wound up working out for you. And I agree that if people whom you thought were friends kept quiet because it'd "make you mad", they needed dumped out of your life. I mean, going from context, a 30-something woman is banging a high school kid while cheating on her husband to do so and the only thing on their mind was "OMG! He might get mad and that'd ruin poker night!!!!". That's some...interesting decision-making.

Verbal Kint Senior Member
1,062 posts 16 reps Joined Jul 2017
Wed, Dec 18, 2019 12:56 PM

One night is not worth a lifetime of guilt or even worry if you have no guilt

thavoice Senior Member
15,437 posts 42 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Dec 20, 2019 2:08 AM
posted by Automatik

Wow, kids and a repeat offender.

Your bro in law is a scumbag and your sister is dumb for taking him back.

I've never done it or even attempted. I'm a shit liar and karma is real.

Concur.

Karma is a bitch and I have this thing called a conscience that would eat me alive if I tried.

Very on pointe topic.  I know someone who is going through this as we speak.

Both sides, the cheating spouse and POS they cheat with,  have absolutely no morals or character.   For the one, do you want to be with a person who will cheat on their spouse? For the cheater, you want to mess around with someone who has such low moral compass to sleep with a married person?   

 

Makes no sense to me.   

thavoice Senior Member
15,437 posts 42 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Dec 26, 2019 8:47 AM

Spoke to my buddy over Christmas whom is going through this right now. His wife said she wanted a divorce and was going to move back in with her parents immediately and then he found out she moved into her boyfriend's house.

 

Uh oh!

His plan?    He is not letting on that he knows it but is trying to woo her back.  He said if he does get her to move back home he is going to immediately file for a divorce!
 

SAVAGE AS F!    

 

Told him this may end up very, very badly but he does not care!!!   This is better than a movie!

Curly J Self Pwner in Training.
7,406 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Dec 29, 2019 7:51 PM

My First marriage seamed like it was based on my Wife cheating. I didn't know the extent of it until we separated and my 'friends' filled me in on others I didn't even know about.

Glad I got a Woman now that won't cheat on me. ONLY With me...lol ;)

BRF Senior Member
11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Dec 29, 2019 8:12 PM
posted by Curly J

I didn't know the extent of it until we separated and my 'friends' filled me in on others I didn't even know about.

 

I know how that feels. 
 

Glad you are happy now!

Trueblue23 BASEDgod
7,504 posts 19 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Dec 30, 2019 10:09 AM

Cheated in high school, because it was high school.

 

Not sure how married people cheat and sleep at night.  Just leave.  Went through a divorce and I'm proud I never made that mistake.

Spock Senior Member
5,271 posts 9 reps Joined Jul 2013
Tue, Dec 31, 2019 8:54 AM

Would never do it as an adult (had tons of chances), but in HS....all the time.

OSH Kosh B'Gosh
4,424 posts 18 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 31, 2019 10:37 AM

I took my now-wife on our first date while she was dating someone for over two years. It's worked for us.

thavoice Senior Member
15,437 posts 42 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Dec 31, 2019 10:46 AM
posted by OSH

I took my now-wife on our first date while she was dating someone for over two years. It's worked for us.

While I would not partake in that, dating is a bit different than a marriage. 
Cheating in a marriage is complete BS and there is a special place in hell for the spouse who is stepping out and the second party partaking in such sinful behavior.    

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