Ohio Chatter

The dark thread

Serious Business
Devils Advocate Brudda o da bomber
4,899 posts 101 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 12:47 AM

What is your go to subject, thought ect. To get you through or distract you from some seriously dark times. I have I the the past tried old vinyl and alcohol in the not so distant past and have found it lacking. Some have suggested that J look to God, but find I haven’t a prayer. Alcohol, cannabis, and illicit drugs , while fun have not been sufficient to distract me from. The fact that I am not immortal, and have to face that fact.  This is an appeal of reality and not  a request for pity. I am truly asking for a comforting thought as I try to find a reason to exist. Let your bullshit flu, as any response will be accepted as empathy. Sorry for the stoned rant. I am obviously looking for clarity comfort

Automatik Senior Member
15,737 posts 98 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 8:41 AM

Join a gym and focus on that and nutrition. 
Dr Winston O'Boogie Senior Member
3,345 posts 36 reps Joined Oct 2010
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 8:43 AM

I try to remember that there are people who love me no matter what. 


I stay far away from alcohol as that will compound these feelings exponentially. 


I make a gratitude list  


Exercise  


I wish you well.  Maybe you need to see a doctor or counselor as well - no shame in that.  
jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 8:54 AM

1. Going to the gym. There is something about physical exertion that keeps anxiety at bay.

2. Nothing wrong with seeing a therapist. Wife and I started seeing a marriage therapist years ago, we both see her individually (marriage is doing well now). She helps my wife with anxiety/depression and she helps me learn how to show empathy (I have near zero).

3. As said above, alcohol is not that place to go, its a depressant so it just makes it worse. Weed helps with anxiety but if you have depression on top of anxiety, weed just makes that depression worse as well.


My middle son suffers from anxiety and depression, he has said the thing(s) that keep him going were wrestling in HS (he's graduated now) and the fact that he works a hard manual labor job now. He is too tired at the end of the day to have his thoughts wondering most of the time. This is also why he said him and his girlfriend go to the gym on weekends.


I truly wish you well and hope some of the things mentioned on this thread help you out.
friendfromlowry Senior Member
7,778 posts 87 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 10:57 AM

Hit the weight room with Sevendust on Spotify. Good as new. 
MontyBrunswick Senior Member
1,065 posts 17 reps Joined Mar 2015
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 11:14 AM

i found myself in a dark place a few years ago and i reached out to my doctor. he wrote me a script for lexapro. i have always been weary about SSRIs but i gave it a go anyways because i felt helpless.

it took about 6 weeks before it yielded any results, but it did help. i took it for about 9 months and then tapered off. been fine since.

in my case, i can find myself trending in the wrong direction if i am couped up in my house/alone for too long. doing little things can help (going for a walk, going for a bike ride, etc). going for an aimless drive can also help just to see new things.


Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 168 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 11:50 AM

Yeah…I’d strongly recommend a small dose of a “happy” pill. Take the edge off a bit when you aren’t busy. Things were tough on me back in 2003 and I was on Zoloft for 6 months. It did the trick and I’ve been ok since.

Staying busy….and it really doesn’t matter what it is. Make a to do list and give yourself some goals in writing.

Be cautious of the music you listen to or the tv/movies you take in.

Volunteer your time somewhere
Laley23 GOAT
33,369 posts 133 reps Joined Nov 2009
Fri, Feb 16, 2024 1:13 PM

I have never experienced true dark times, just typical anxiety of growing up and becoming an adult (which in hindsight are nothing in the grand scheme of life). But, the 3 things that I love and look forward to are working out (ok, I dread this, but I love the results and the post workout feel), cooking/eating, and watching new and old movies. 

I work out 5-6 times a week, and coupled with a healthier diet and not travelling as much have cut down to 180 (I am 6'1) from 210 in about a 15 month span. From when I started working out (2015) I am down from 227. This just naturally gets me to feel better, even if I am already happy. 

I cook all the meals at our house. I have a spreadsheet to plan meals which also helps with binge and overeating, but also allows me to plan meals in advance a few days. I will get pumped, look up creative ways to alter a spice or sauce or whatever, go do the shopping for it, and then make it. It is a lot of fun to find a new meal that is delicious. Also love going to restaurants but don't get out as much with kids.

Lastly, I love film. So if you aren't into movies, this probably wont help. But maybe another hobby that doesn't "run out". I will run thru directors filmography's in order, binge an entire years of best pictures in a week, watch all nominated performances of an actor/actress, etc. Just creative ways to watch movies again and again. Then I will typically see all Best Picture nominations in a given year in theaters (or streaming if they are there first). I think I probably average about 25 movies a year in theater. I will also couple rewatches with podcasts (The Big Pic, Blank Check, Rewatchables) which makes the podcast more fun.
Devils Advocate Brudda o da bomber
4,899 posts 101 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 12:47 AM

Thanks everybody for the responses I truly mean it over the last decade or so I truly count you all is family because I know a lot of your little quirks and inconsistencies in ups  and Falls and truth and strength. I truly do appreciate it. This is  it an appeal for sympathy I’m going through an episode about with cancer, that truly is troubling me myself I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I am truly looking for things to help distract me from the troubles that I’m in that being said, there is also a reality that I must face that is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is a disease that killed my brother a little over 10 years ago  That I am experiencing now I’m currently stage three and I’m going through chemotherapy. That being said, I truly do value your opinions from the left and through the right from the crazy to the sane, I truly feel like I know all you all and I’d really do appreciate it , This is not an appeal for sympathy. This is me trying to find a reason to live when I wake up in the morning I do not want to kill myself I’m just trying to find a reason to live. thank you much you probably won’t hear from me much  as this chemo therapy is a literally ripping me apart but I want to find the strength and I am from that. I want to draw from it the people that I knew and opinions that I value thank you all for your support and I’ll talk to you later. 
Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 168 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 12:54 AM
posted by Devils Advocate

Thanks everybody for the responses I truly mean it over the last decade or so I truly count you all is family because I know a lot of your little quirks and inconsistencies in ups  and Falls and truth and strength. I truly do appreciate it. This is  it an appeal for sympathy I’m going through an episode about with cancer, that truly is troubling me myself I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I am truly looking for things to help distract me from the troubles that I’m in that being said, there is also a reality that I must face that is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is a disease that killed my brother a little over 10 years ago  That I am experiencing now I’m currently stage three and I’m going through chemotherapy. That being said, I truly do value your opinions from the left and through the right from the crazy to the sane, I truly feel like I know all you all and I’d really do appreciate it , This is not an appeal for sympathy. This is me trying to find a reason to live when I wake up in the morning I do not want to kill myself I’m just trying to find a reason to live. thank you much you probably won’t hear from me much  as this chemo therapy is a literally ripping me apart but I want to find the strength and I am from that. I want to draw from it the people that I knew and opinions that I value thank you all for your support and I’ll talk to you later. 

Terrible to hear. Very sorry for your diagnosis and the chemotherapy troubles. You’ll be in my nightly prayers. If you’d like you can send me a direct message and I’ll give you my contact if you ever need to talk.

Stay strong my friend 
jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 11:03 AM
posted by Devils Advocate

Thanks everybody for the responses I truly mean it over the last decade or so I truly count you all is family because I know a lot of your little quirks and inconsistencies in ups  and Falls and truth and strength. I truly do appreciate it. This is  it an appeal for sympathy I’m going through an episode about with cancer, that truly is troubling me myself I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I am truly looking for things to help distract me from the troubles that I’m in that being said, there is also a reality that I must face that is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is a disease that killed my brother a little over 10 years ago  That I am experiencing now I’m currently stage three and I’m going through chemotherapy. That being said, I truly do value your opinions from the left and through the right from the crazy to the sane, I truly feel like I know all you all and I’d really do appreciate it , This is not an appeal for sympathy. This is me trying to find a reason to live when I wake up in the morning I do not want to kill myself I’m just trying to find a reason to live. thank you much you probably won’t hear from me much  as this chemo therapy is a literally ripping me apart but I want to find the strength and I am from that. I want to draw from it the people that I knew and opinions that I value thank you all for your support and I’ll talk to you later. 

Truly hope all goes well and I will pray for you.
jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 52 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 11:06 AM
posted by Devils Advocate

Thanks everybody for the responses I truly mean it over the last decade or so I truly count you all is family because I know a lot of your little quirks and inconsistencies in ups  and Falls and truth and strength. I truly do appreciate it. This is  it an appeal for sympathy I’m going through an episode about with cancer, that truly is troubling me myself I am not looking for sympathy or anything like that. I am truly looking for things to help distract me from the troubles that I’m in that being said, there is also a reality that I must face that is non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This is a disease that killed my brother a little over 10 years ago  That I am experiencing now I’m currently stage three and I’m going through chemotherapy. That being said, I truly do value your opinions from the left and through the right from the crazy to the sane, I truly feel like I know all you all and I’d really do appreciate it , This is not an appeal for sympathy. This is me trying to find a reason to live when I wake up in the morning I do not want to kill myself I’m just trying to find a reason to live. thank you much you probably won’t hear from me much  as this chemo therapy is a literally ripping me apart but I want to find the strength and I am from that. I want to draw from it the people that I knew and opinions that I value thank you all for your support and I’ll talk to you later. 

Also, don’t know where you live, but if it’s anywhere near Akron, don’t hesitate to ask for any help. 


I can/am willing to come help with anything (well as long as it doesn’t require my right arm for the next 8 weeks, just has shoulder surgery).
CenterBHSFan 333 - I'm only half evil
7,259 posts 55 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 11:59 AM

There is a very real connection between the brain and it's connection to bodily welfare. I know it's somewhat cliche, but body wellness starts with wellness of mind. So, I agree with the suggestions of exercise. I ride my horse whenever time and weather permits. 

My brother went through very much the same as you except he was already stage 4 when they found his (because he won't go to the Dr unless it is a dire emergency). When the chemo had him too sick to do much he picked up coloring. One of his nurses plopped some parts of images and colored pens in front of him one day and told him he could leave when they were finished. It helped him focus on something else than how his body was feeling and she added his papers to a giant collage in their main hallway.  With the type of cancer he has, he will never be in true remission, will always have to have the port in his chest. So he keeps his little box of coloring books and pens in the closet for easy access. 

None of these suggestions might work for you, specifically, though. Be daring, try something new. Try yoga. Support groups (they helped me with my mother's ALZ), they will have a wide variety of ideas and help. 

Believe in yourself. 
Dr Winston O'Boogie Senior Member
3,345 posts 36 reps Joined Oct 2010
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 12:10 PM

Good luck to you. I’ve never had that experience, but I can imagine feeling like you do. One step, or one day at a time seems like a good philosophy. It sounds cliche, but it’s very appropriate in tough situations. Sometimes one hour at a time is helpful. 


I hope you can get outside too.  Going for a walk in the fresh air helps. 


And by all means - stay away from the booze when you’re feeling this way.  That stuff will unleash the demons if you’re in a weakened state.   It may have its place during other times, but when you’re down, it is poison of the first order.
BRF Senior Member
11,621 posts 111 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 1:23 PM

I am sorry to hear of your situation and wish the best for you. 

You have received some great advice from fellow Chatterers. 

Here are a couple suggestions from this 71 year old man:

- Try to stay active and move around as much as you possibly can (like Dr Winston O’Boogie said).

- CenterBHSFan suggested coloring and I would add something else: bird watching.  Get a feeder and enjoy!

I hope you are having a good day. 
sportchampps Senior Member
7,527 posts 36 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 1:26 PM

Fuck Cancer. You can beat it. 
justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 250 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Feb 18, 2024 3:18 PM

I can't really add much to the great advice everyone else has already given, but I'm always available if you need anything. 
QuakerOats Senior Member
11,701 posts 66 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Feb 19, 2024 8:47 AM

Good luck to you; we are all pulling for you!  
j_crazy 7 gram rocks. how i roll.
8,623 posts 30 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Feb 19, 2024 9:29 AM

this is weird, but as i've aged it's changed several times. 15 years ago, it was booze, ciggys, and being alone that got me through. then when my mom died like 6 years ago, it was being with my family that helped, taking care of mom's estate meant spending hours with my brother and oldest sister, the 2 siblings i've always gotten along with the best and coincidentally mom and dad put us 3 in charge of everything. but taking care of that stuff, having dinner with them or phone calls with them really helped. i haven't experienced anything truly dark since mom, but when i was horribly unhappy with work in late '22 and debating where my next career move was going, it was golf, geeking out over the differences of different luxury watches, educating my kids about watches and guns and why i was happy to hand some of them down to them was what really gave me clarity and lead me to the answer that was always the answer as to what i needed career/life wise.


long way of saying that every situation may require a little different remedy. my dad dying so suddenly, when i was working 14 on 14 off and partying sent me down the booze and cigs path, mom's death and long drawn out sickness sent me down the family path, and the first time in my life hating what i was doing for 10 hours a day sent me down a nerdy, analytical path to get through it.
Devils Advocate Brudda o da bomber
4,899 posts 101 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Feb 27, 2024 11:20 PM

Thank you all for the kind words and encouragement. I am going through a learning curve and the first lesson I learned was diladid Alcohol and weed do not mix in large quantities. It was a hell of a ride though. I’ve burned a lot of things through my life, and I always have to remember to think of all the good things Count your blessings and get this day done and get onto the next . I appreciate your patience if you have any because of my drunken rants. I appreciate all 14 of you.

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