You're either searching for, or have found an ideal mate. What specific trait(s) are/were the most important for the initial attraction? What trait(s) keep you interested?
Initial? Need to be at least a 6.5/10...from there they need to not be entitled, bitchy, irritating.
Kind, fun, able to laugh at themselves are big pluses
Obviously there needs to be a physical attraction at first. I find myself being attracted to many different types, so I'm not sure I have a "type" or anything.
As far as long term attraction, what's kept my wife and I together for so long, is her ability to put up with my shit, and put me in my place when I need it. While she's not overly funny herself, she has a great sense of humor. And the biggest thing, I think, is a philosophical alignment.
The initial traits are inherently sexual. What keeps you around, to me, is intellectual, values and personality.
Sexual traits:
Other:
I’m sure I’m forgetting some big ones, but those are what I initially looked for in my wife.
Initially, dark hair, dark skin and I'm interested. Accent is a plus.
Common interests are big to keep me interested. "Opposites attract" is BS IMO. Also I have to be with someone driven, whether it be career, life experiences, etc. If you're complacent, it's not gonna work.
Physical chemistry is obviously very important and the first thing that brings most people together. I don't have a "type" though. I had four serious boyfriends before meeting my husband. They all looked different, and I was attracted to them for different reasons.
My husband is one of the smartest people I've ever met, and he's a very hard worker. He's funny, kind, and just innately good. I'm a much more social person than he is, but he's perfectly fine staying home or going fishing or golfing while I go to concerts, movies, restaurants or bars with my friends (pre-Covid, obviously). That said, we still have tons in common and love a lot of the same things, otherwise we wouldn't be together.
posted by Laley23The initial traits are inherently sexual. What keeps you around, to me, is intellectual, values and personality.
Sexual traits:
- Ass
- Legs
- Eyes and lips (and face in general)
Other:
- Ability to hold conversation
- Good heart and willingness to care for others
- Doesn’t take life/self too seriously
- Always wanting to learn more, on diverse subjects
- Loves to travel
I’m sure I’m forgetting some big ones, but those are what I initially looked for in my wife.
Lol at the first 7 words of your last sentence
Yeah....gotta want to have a job to be a keeper for me
posted by Ironman92Lol at the first 7 words of your last sentence
Biguns, you say?
Physically, I like slender. Not one for meat on the bone. Don't like big butts, not lying.
To go off of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, right now in my life, I need to connect on an emotional level as well as physical. Someone who can genuinely offer kind words of affirmation as well as a loving physical touch.
posted by justincredibleObviously there needs to be a physical attraction at first. I find myself being attracted to many different types, so I'm not sure I have a "type" or anything.
Well-put. For most of us men, we can't help but look at the physical first. But there has to be something more, and you really do learn to appreciate more of the non-physical traits as you grow older.
I always say it's not a set of individual traits so much as it is the total package - you might not like 'em thin, but then a thin one comes along that has several other traits and a winning smile, and then you don't even notice they're thin.
The girls I dated casually were shorter, proportionate and on the slender side - and then I end up this tall creature built like the proverbial brick house. earnest t. bass would not like her at all, lol. I certainly never saw myself marrying a girl like that, but I've learned to appreciate her more and more.
What won me over back then were her smile, her sense of humor, and the fact she didn't take herself too seriously. And her hair. She's always had some hair, and is always doing something different with it.
Heartbeat.
The rest is negotiable.
I'll sign up for Laley's list.
