Most important trait(s) in the opposite sex?

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 246 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 10:50 AM

You're either searching for, or have found an ideal mate. What specific trait(s) are/were the most important for the initial attraction? What trait(s) keep you interested?


Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 163 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 11:14 AM

Initial? Need to be at least a 6.5/10...from there they need to not be entitled, bitchy, irritating.

Kind, fun, able to laugh at themselves are big pluses

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 246 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 11:16 AM

Obviously there needs to be a physical attraction at first. I find myself being attracted to many different types, so I'm not sure I have a "type" or anything. 

As far as long term attraction, what's kept my wife and I together for so long, is her ability to put up with my shit, and put me in my place when I need it. While she's not overly funny herself, she has a great sense of humor. And the biggest thing, I think, is a philosophical alignment.

33,369 posts 132 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 11:24 AM

The initial traits are inherently sexual. What keeps you around, to me, is intellectual, values and personality.

Sexual traits:

  • Ass
  • Legs
  • Eyes and lips (and face in general)


Other:

  • Ability to hold conversation
  • Good heart and willingness to care for others
  • Doesn’t take life/self too seriously
  • Always wanting to learn more, on diverse subjects
  • Loves to travel


I’m sure I’m forgetting some big ones, but those are what I initially looked for in my wife.

Automatik Senior Member
15,737 posts 98 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 11:26 AM

Initially, dark hair, dark skin and I'm interested. Accent is a plus.

Common interests are big to keep me interested. "Opposites attract" is BS IMO. Also I have to be with someone driven, whether it be career, life experiences, etc. If you're complacent, it's not gonna work.

Fab4Runner Tits McGee
6,997 posts 64 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 11:48 AM

Physical chemistry is obviously very important and the first thing that brings most people together. I don't have a "type" though. I had four serious boyfriends before meeting my husband. They all looked different, and I was attracted to them for different reasons. 

My husband is one of the smartest people I've ever met, and he's a very hard worker. He's funny, kind, and just innately good. I'm a much more social person than he is, but he's perfectly fine staying home or going fishing or golfing while I go to concerts, movies, restaurants or bars with my friends (pre-Covid, obviously). That said, we still have tons in common and love a lot of the same things, otherwise we wouldn't be together. 

Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 163 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 12:02 PM
posted by Laley23

The initial traits are inherently sexual. What keeps you around, to me, is intellectual, values and personality.

Sexual traits:

  • Ass
  • Legs
  • Eyes and lips (and face in general)


Other:

  • Ability to hold conversation
  • Good heart and willingness to care for others
  • Doesn’t take life/self too seriously
  • Always wanting to learn more, on diverse subjects
  • Loves to travel


I’m sure I’m forgetting some big ones, but those are what I initially looked for in my wife.

Lol at the first 7 words of your last sentence


Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 163 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 12:04 PM

Yeah....gotta want to have a job to be a keeper for me

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 246 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 1:00 PM
posted by Ironman92

Lol at the first 7 words of your last sentence


Biguns, you say?

ernest_t_bass 12th Son of the Lama
26,698 posts 204 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jul 7, 2020 8:02 PM

Physically, I like slender.  Not one for meat on the bone.  Don't like big butts, not lying.

To go off of Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages, right now in my life, I need to connect on an emotional level as well as physical.  Someone who can genuinely offer kind words of affirmation as well as a loving physical touch.

Zunardo Senior Member
815 posts 15 reps Joined Nov 2010
Wed, Jul 8, 2020 2:57 PM
posted by justincredible

Obviously there needs to be a physical attraction at first. I find myself being attracted to many different types, so I'm not sure I have a "type" or anything. 

Well-put.  For most of us men, we can't help but look at the physical first.  But there has to be something more, and you really do learn to appreciate more of the non-physical traits as you grow older.

I always say it's not a set of individual traits so much as it is the total package - you might not like 'em thin, but then a thin one comes along that has several other traits and a winning smile, and then you don't even notice they're thin.

The girls I dated casually were shorter, proportionate and on the slender side - and then I end up this tall creature built like the proverbial brick house.  earnest t. bass would not like her at all, lol.  I certainly never saw myself marrying a girl like that, but I've learned to appreciate her more and more.

What won me over back then were her smile, her sense of humor, and the fact she didn't take herself too seriously.  And her hair.  She's always had some hair, and is always doing something different with it.

thavoice Senior Member
15,437 posts 42 reps Joined Nov 2009
Thu, Jul 9, 2020 10:21 AM

Heartbeat.


The rest is negotiable.

GOONx19 An exceptional poster.
7,413 posts 94 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sat, Jul 11, 2020 11:27 AM

I'll sign up for Laley's list.

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 246 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sat, Jul 11, 2020 11:35 AM

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