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Relationship/Marriage Contract

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like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:40 AM
I mentioned in the finance thread, that next time I am about to get in a relationship/marriage(for the serious folks), I am going to have a list of bylaws that this girl needs to follow, otherwise there will be no relationship/marriage, or the relationship/marriage will be terminated if she doesn't follow the bylaws. Here is what I have so far.

-Must maintain sex quota
----Must do something kinky at least once a month
-Don't bitch/nag about petty shit
-Don't talk to me on sundays, especially if the Browns lose. (you may place your mouth on my penis, if that helps to prevent you from talking)
-Either tell me what is wrong, or shut the fuck up.


This is all I have so far. Looking for input, especially from the miserable married folks.
Sep 16, 2011 10:40am
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:40 AM
Sep 16, 2011 10:40am
G

Gblock

Sep 16, 2011 10:42 AM
good luck with that
Sep 16, 2011 10:42am
majorspark's avatar

majorspark

Senior Member

5,122 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:42 AM
If you get married you are destined for divorce.
Sep 16, 2011 10:42am
karen lotz's avatar

karen lotz

TuTu Train

22,284 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:45 AM
Bitch/nag thing will NEVER happen.
Sep 16, 2011 10:45am
G

Gblock

Sep 16, 2011 10:46 AM
you better get a script for that
Sep 16, 2011 10:46am
karen lotz's avatar

karen lotz

TuTu Train

22,284 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:48 AM
Gblock;898369 wrote:you better get a script for that

And not one of ender's scripts. A script of pills.
Sep 16, 2011 10:48am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:48 AM
gorocks99;898362 wrote:
+1.
Sep 16, 2011 10:48am
T

thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:55 AM
The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.

Example:
1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".

2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'

3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.

4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a fuckin mind reader.
Sep 16, 2011 10:55am
B

BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Sep 16, 2011 10:59 AM
karen lotz;898368 wrote:Bitch/nag thing will NEVER happen.
This is what I told him. They'll find a loophole.
Sep 16, 2011 10:59am
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:00 AM
thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules,
I doubt any woman is going to agree to those rules...
thavoice;898375 wrote:but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.
But this is 100% correct.
Sep 16, 2011 11:00am
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:00 AM
Alright the bitching/nagging thing was a stretch.
Sep 16, 2011 11:00am
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:02 AM
This contract will be worth less than the paper it's printed on. :)
Sep 16, 2011 11:02am
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:04 AM
Steel Valley Football;898380 wrote:This contract will be worth less than the paper it's printed on. :)
I will show you guys.
Sep 16, 2011 11:04am
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:05 AM
thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.

Example:
1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".

2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'

3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.

4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a ****in mind reader.

I don't know this word. Is that some kind of sexual breakfast thing? ;)
Sep 16, 2011 11:05am
S

Steel Valley Football

Senior Member

4,548 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:06 AM
like_that;898382 wrote:I will show you guys.


No ya won't!
Sep 16, 2011 11:06am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:06 AM
@thavoice - does your wife bitch at you for jerking off too? I don't get why some women care about that. It's my body, i'm allowed to touch whatever part of it i want.
Sep 16, 2011 11:06am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:07 AM
The only contract I'd have her sign is, if we get divorced, no child support, and the kids are not ever allowed to be around any of your BF's.
Sep 16, 2011 11:07am
T

thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:07 AM
FatHobbit;898377 wrote:I doubt any woman is going to agree to those rules...



But this is 100% correct.
Women, before marriage, are like kids at a toy store with their parents. When they really want something they beg and plead and promise so many things if you buy them that special toy. They promise to always been good, clean their room, get good grades, go to bed on time, clean their plate, do the dishes, cure cancer, and as soon as ya buy them that toy and they play with it for about 15 minutes at home they forget all about what they promised at the toy store.
Sep 16, 2011 11:07am
B

BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:09 AM
thavoice;898390 wrote:Women, before marriage, are like kids at a toy store with their parents. When they really want something they beg and plead and promise so many things if you buy them that special toy. They promise to always been good, clean their room, get good grades, go to bed on time, clean their plate, do the dishes, cure cancer, and as soon as ya buy them that toy and they play with it for about 15 minutes at home they forget all about what they promised at the toy store.
True story
Sep 16, 2011 11:09am
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:10 AM
thavoice;898375 wrote:The thing is this.......before the marriage the women very well could be in 100% agreeance with that and say they would love those rules, but after ou say "I do" it is like a switch goes off in their mind and they do a comlete 180.

Example:
1. Prior to marriage the woman said she looks forward to the steelers games because I will be either going to them, or watching them with my friends and that gives her time to do whatever she wanted to do that day. AFTER marriage......wanting to go and watch the steelers with my friends then became "football is more important than me and this marriage?" and "I want equal cash equivlant for every dime you spend going to the steelers game".

2. The sex part..........skinny dipping, on the hood of the car...whenever and wherever was good to go. After marriage......'ooooo, no way, why would I want to do that. Married people dont have sex.'

3. Bitch and nag about petty stuff....Come on dude, only women who dont do that are deaf, mute and blind.

4. Same can be said about telling ya what is wrong. You must be a ****in mind reader.
Pretend I'm saying this thru a megaphone: KILL. THIS. SUCCUBUS.
Sep 16, 2011 11:10am
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:10 AM
Raw Dawgin' it;898388 wrote:@thavoice - does your wife bitch at you for jerking off too? I don't get why some women care about that. It's my body, i'm allowed to touch whatever part of it i want.
I agree. If she doesn't like it, she could easily do something about it.
Sep 16, 2011 11:10am
G

Gblock

Sep 16, 2011 11:16 AM
i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good
Sep 16, 2011 11:16am
B

BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:17 AM
Gblock;898402 wrote:i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good
It's like you walk through a door and everything changes. That's why I have no plans of doing it again.
Sep 16, 2011 11:17am
like_that's avatar

like_that

1st Team All-PWN

26,625 posts
Sep 16, 2011 11:17 AM
Gblock;898402 wrote:i agree with the voice when before i was married it was great as soon as we got married it sucked complete 180 on everything. sex?? forget it. hence why i left after 1 year. a year later we got back together and she promised sex 3 times a week. that lasted exactly 1 week so about a year and a half later i left for good
See, at least you left.
Sep 16, 2011 11:17am