1. Yesthedynasty1998;392797 wrote:Questions for you, since you seem to be controlling;
1. Is your daughter a virgin?
2. Has/does your daughter drink alcohol?
3. Has/does your daughter do any recreational drugs?
If you answer no to all of those, you are delusional. If you say yes, then I think you might be more realistic than some of us may believe.
majorspark;393023 wrote:1. Yes
2. No
3. No
Not all 17yr old girls are druken whores who use recreational drugs.
enigmaax;392739 wrote:spark - You don't have to try and convince me that you are secure. You aren't, but it doesn't matter to me. I went back and re-read your original post and there's a couple of things that stand out a little more, especially given your response to me. You let her come and go as she pleases, no curfew, etc. Buuuut....you draw the line when it comes to another man in her life. Then you only trust her judgment "to a degree" and of course she doesn't know men like you do. It DOES show insecurity and frankly, it is really damn weird.
She also takes advice from my wife, her grandparents, her friends, coaches etc. Again you are reading way too much into this Dr. Phil. My daughter has expressed interest in many young men. Nothing serious ever developed and not once did I "meddle" or try steer her away from them. I think when I get home from work tonight I will have her read some of the responses. She will get a kick out of it.enigmaax;392739 wrote:You say things like "to this point she has taken YOUR advice". If a guy can't ask YOUR permission then he isn't worthy of giving her the love YOU have given her. You are already trying to set roadblocks and rationalize why any guy she meets could not measure up to YOU. The whole damn post was about you and the issue is about you, not her.
Then you have this, "If he is unwilling to jump this small hurdle I have put up to have a relationship with my daughter, what hurdles will he be unwilling to overcome later in the relationship to provide for her happiness and well being?"
I would ask, if you insist on meddling in her personal life now, what hurdles are you going to cause when she does find the right guy? Honestly, you are no longer and nor should you expect to be any kind of authority to her when it comes to her personal life. The fact that she is okay with it now is probably less about her respect for you than it is about fear of you, even if it is just afraid of hurting your fragile little ego. And when she finally does get married, how easy is it going to be for her to balance all of your opinions, advice, and wish to control against her husband's thoughts and feelings?
I don't think your trying to be an ass. You make some good points but like I said you are just reading to much into it. I asked what people thought and its been quite interesting. Everyone thinks I am Nazi Dad LOL!enigmaax;392739 wrote:I know plenty of people like this and though I'm being kind of blunt with my opinion (yeah, I could be wrong, but you asked), I'm really not just trying to be an ass. It has the potential to go way deeper than you expect and cause so many more problems in the long run. Nearly everyone has said it, the best thing to do is get used to the fact that she is going to make her own decisions and accept them without trying to be any type of authority on her personal life.
queencitybuckeye;393060 wrote:Not all girls who have done any or all of them are drunken whore junkies either, but everyone who categorizes them as such are assholes.
thedynasty1998;393073 wrote:Don't be so stubborn to think that you might know more than her.
I would consider casual more like friends, going out having fun (no not that kind of fun). When romantic feelings start to develop then I would consider that a serious relationship. But that is just my opinion.pnhasbeen;393040 wrote:Serious question: What's the difference, TO YOU, between a serious relationship and a casual relationship?
She would get a kick out of it. She knows I would not seriously consider anyones advice on an internet forum although some have made some good points. She shares my sense of humor and would laugh at those that think her Dad is some kind of ogre. When she knows just the opposite is true.thedynasty1998;393073 wrote:You very well might not be. But you are certainly coming off that way, and if I had a daughter the last thing I would do would be to show her an internet forum where I have asked others for advice.
majorspark;393085 wrote:I would consider casual more like friends, going out having fun (no not that kind of fun). When romantic feelings start to develop then I would consider that a serious relationship. But that is just my opinion.
We have talked about alcohol many times. I have told her I understand if some of her friends have some and she wants to try it. Just be careful and don't drive. If necessary I have told her I will come pick her up. She tells me she really has no desire to drink alcohol. Some people just don't drink. My wife doesn't either. Yet I do all the time. I doubt the Florida sun changed her thoughts on alcohol.thedynasty1998;393045 wrote:I'm sorry, but you are a very naive man. The fact that your daughter went to Florida with her friends for spring break or whatever, tells me that she has at least drank alcohol at one point. I know that's assuming a lot, but given your stance on dating, I think you are very naive and really don't know what 18 year olds are doing now-a-days.
She will be a senior in high school and she is not quite 18 yet. As for college that will depend more on finances and what she wants to pursue as a career.thedynasty1998;393045 wrote:What is she planning on doing next year? Is she going away to college, or did you keep her at the local community college so that she can live at home?
I agree and like I said to queencitybuckeye I should not have worded that so broadly.thedynasty1998;393045 wrote:And just because an 18 year old has had sex, drank and smoked pot, it doesn't mean they are a "drunked whole who uses recreational drugs".
pnhasbeen;393040 wrote:Okay, you say this is only for "serious" dating not "casual" dating.
How does serious dating start? Uh...casual dating?
I can see the conversation now:
Guy: Hey Mr. Spark. I would like to ask you something.
Spark: *puffing a cigar listening to Walter Cronkite reruns* Yes, peasant, go ahead.
Guy: Well, you know me and your daughter having been dating casually for the last few months. I was really hoping I could make it a more serious relationship. Not marriage or anything, but just more serious.
Spark: Oh, really? And what would this serious relationship consist of?
Guy: Well, facebook has this new status that says "In a Casual Relationship" and "In a Serious Relationship." I think changing it is a big step. And, you know...
Spark: I know what?
Guy: Well, I'd really like to fuck your daughters brains out, but she has told me your request about asking you about entering a serious relationship. And you've raised her real well, I mean, she won't even consider sex when she's in a casual relationship, just lots of oral.
Spark: Ahhh, I understand. I see you really have thought about this. Well, I have to ask, are you going to give her the same kind of love I gave her?
Guy: Sir, I know I can try. I would really like to see if I can.
I mean, come on man. Casual relationships are okay, but serious one's aren't.
Serious question: What's the difference, TO YOU, between a serious relationship and a casual relationship?
majorspark;393085 wrote:I would consider casual more like friends, going out having fun (no not that kind of fun). When romantic feelings start to develop then I would consider that a serious relationship. But that is just my opinion.
Okay, you are either EXTREMELY NAIVE or your daughter is ugly.majorspark;393023 wrote:1. Yes
2. No
3. No
Not all 17yr old girls are druken whores who use recreational drugs.
sleeper;393178 wrote:Okay, you are either EXTREMELY NAIVE or your daughter is ugly.
If the latter is true, you should be welcoming as many men as possible in hopes she snags a good one(and by that I mean gets knocked up and has like quintuplets)
Yeah thats the one.Fly4Fun;393180 wrote:Also, don't forget this great study...
http://wellness.blogs.time.com/2010/06/16/obesitys-impact-on-sexual-health/?xid=rss-topstories&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+time%2Ftopstories+%28TIME%3A+Top+Stories%29&utm_content=Google+Reader
If she's overweight, make sure you teach her about safe sex.
