So, I'm 99% sure that I'm going to hell.

Home Archive Serious Business So, I'm 99% sure that I'm going to hell.
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:48 PM
I should note that I was pretty sure that I was heading there anyway, but last night I'm confident I punched my ticket.

Last night, at the grocery store, j_baby was having a rough one. She's usually a very well behaved kid (and I'm being objective here) but last night she wanted some yogurt or fruit snacks that were in the cart, but not paid for and j_lady and I weren't letting her have them. Rather than baby her, or spank her(at 15 mos. she's still too young to spank just yet, IMO) we let her down and just let her scream and point and yell and we just kept telling her (in calm voices because she seems to react to us being calm/nervous) "it's okay, you're alright. You can't have them now..."



When all of the sudden, ole boy (in his mid 50's) looks over at his wife and says "look at the way these idiots handle their child."

Me - "Excuse me?"
j_lady - "j_crazy, don't."
Me - "No, No, No, babe. What the FUCK did you say?" *pointing at ole boy.
j_lady - "Oh shit." *picking up j_baby
Ole boy - "You gonna let that brat act like that in public."
Me - "Just between you and me, I'd rather she not act like that but I'm not giving into her and will teach her how to act when she's upset. But just so you and your fucking dumbass wife know, I couldn't give a fuck less about your view on this situation. So I'd back the fuck off and go buy some fucking baby carrots if I were you."

2 notes here
1. This is happening in the deli section of Alberston's. The produce (i.e. where the baby carrots are) would be on the other side of the store.
2. I'm wearing khaki shorts and a tee shirt that says "Circulating Crude Engineers All Over the World" (it's from the Marietta College Petroleum Engineering department). He's wearing slacks and a polo, his wife is in a dress with a large cross necklace.

ole boy - "Come on dear, I should have known someone dressed like that would act like a fool."
me - "Fuck you. You fucking Presbyterian." *Still not exactly sure why I said that, I have no beef with Presbyterians.
j_lady - "What makes you think he's Presbyterian?" *Laughing (she understands I say random shit when I get white hot mad).
me - "Because he's a FUCKING ASSHOLE! Thats how I know." *Screaming to be sure he heard me.

When we got home I put like 20 bucks in the swear jar. It should be noted that until this incident I was doing really well at not swearing in front of j_baby. I obviously need to keep working on it.


I thought you chatterers would enjoy my humiliation in the grocery store.
Apr 6, 2010 12:48pm
U

Upper90

Senior Member

1,095 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:51 PM
j_crazy wrote:me - "Fuck you. You fucking Presbyterian."
LOL, that's pretty hilarious, and probably caught him off guard.

I must say, I don't know if I'd ever have the audacity to speak up about how someone else is treating their child. I mean, unless we're talking full on beating in public, or something.
Apr 6, 2010 12:51pm
S

sjmvsfscs08

Senior Member

2,963 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:52 PM
I'd have done the same thing, no worries.
Apr 6, 2010 12:52pm
voewoody's avatar

voewoody

Senior Member

280 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:52 PM
That story brightened my day! Wish I would have been there to see it..
Apr 6, 2010 12:52pm
2quik4u's avatar

2quik4u

Senior Member

4,388 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:54 PM
lol, good story
Apr 6, 2010 12:54pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:55 PM
I lol'd, heartily. BTW, I was 100% sure you were going to Hell already. :)
Apr 6, 2010 12:55pm
K

ksig489

Senior Member

943 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:57 PM
That is pretty funny...the baby carrots line was so out of nowhere that it was hilarious. I had trouble getting myself to stop laughing.
Apr 6, 2010 12:57pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:58 PM
You handled it better than I would have. The way my temper is I probably would have gotten in his face and threatened to mutilate some body part (and by some I am not alluding to anything, would have probably been something like "rip your ears right off your fucking head").

The Presbyterian line was priceless though.
Apr 6, 2010 12:58pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Apr 6, 2010 12:59 PM
Good for you!! Hey don't worry I will be keeping you company down there when my time comes!!
Apr 6, 2010 12:59pm
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:01 PM
From the sounds of it, I think ole boy posts on here.
Apr 6, 2010 1:01pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:03 PM
I don't even get upset over kids being loud in places like a grocery store. If we were in a movie theater or nicer restaurant I would have acted the same way as "ole boy", but places where kids are EXPECTED like a mall or supermarket, it's just part of life!
Apr 6, 2010 1:03pm
ts1227's avatar

ts1227

Senior Member

12,319 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:08 PM
LJ wrote: I don't even get upset over kids being loud in places like a grocery store. If we were in a movie theater or nicer restaurant I would have acted the same way as "ole boy", but places where kids are EXPECTED like a mall or supermarket, it's just part of life!
This. Sure, some people have it happen all the time because of parenting issues, but that's a small group.

Sometimes babies cry, and sometimes there isn't even always a reason. Since it's a place that a) you'd expect to find a small child and b) a place that generally isn't a quiet place, why get upset over it? Some people just need something to bitch about.
Apr 6, 2010 1:08pm
J

justcompete

Senior Member

263 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:09 PM
I've done similar things..........Feels good doesn't it?
Maybe they will mind their own business next time.
Apr 6, 2010 1:09pm
J

jmog

Senior Member

6,567 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:14 PM
1. Hilarious story.
2. Ole boy should have kept his mouth shut. Its one thing if you were letting a 3 or 4 year old act like that, its another if its 15 months old, like you said are you going to spank a 15 month old? You did the right thing for not giving into the 15 month old for sure.
3. I would have said something to old boy too, just with far fewer curse words and with a little more tact. I still would have put him in his place though for sure.
Apr 6, 2010 1:14pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:16 PM
I would've pulled my gat and popped a few rounds into the air and yell "you wanna fuck me with me mother fucker, i'm fuckin crazy!!!".....

Oh wait that's how I chase unwanted hunters off of my property.
Apr 6, 2010 1:16pm
2quik4u's avatar

2quik4u

Senior Member

4,388 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:21 PM
LJ wrote: I would've pulled my gat and popped a few rounds into the air and yell "you wanna fuck me with me mother fucker, i'm fuckin crazy!!!".....

Oh wait that's how I chase unwanted hunters off of my property.
your so cool
Apr 6, 2010 1:21pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:22 PM
2quik4u wrote:
LJ wrote: I would've pulled my gat and popped a few rounds into the air and yell "you wanna fuck me with me mother fucker, i'm fuckin crazy!!!".....

Oh wait that's how I chase unwanted hunters off of my property.
your so cool
you're

and they still keep trespassing, acting like the craziest person in the county doesn't keep them away, so what do you suggest I do?
Apr 6, 2010 1:22pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:22 PM
1. I thought the story would get a chuckle. But I was super-pissed at the time.
2. I really don't care what anyone else thinks of my parenting. I'm not the best, but I'm stubborn enough to fail with the plan the wife and I set out. So I really do get upset when people mention anything about it to me (even my parents).
3. I wish I hadn't blown up on him. I'm pretty sure that's not a good example for j_baby, but we do know she gets her explosive temper honestly.
4. I've never had someone call me out like that in public and it feels good to know that I didn't puss out (like I was 70% sure I'd do until this happened).
Apr 6, 2010 1:22pm
Laley23's avatar

Laley23

GOAT

29,506 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:24 PM
Presbyterian....lol
Apr 6, 2010 1:24pm
2quik4u's avatar

2quik4u

Senior Member

4,388 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:25 PM
LJ wrote:
2quik4u wrote:
LJ wrote: I would've pulled my gat and popped a few rounds into the air and yell "you wanna fuck me with me mother fucker, i'm fuckin crazy!!!".....

Oh wait that's how I chase unwanted hunters off of my property.
your so cool
you're

and they still keep trespassing, acting like the craziest person in the county doesn't keep them away, so what do you suggest I do?
thanks for the correction, but if you really act like that one day you may run into the wrong hunter who doesnt run away
Apr 6, 2010 1:25pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:25 PM
LJ wrote:
2quik4u wrote:
LJ wrote: I would've pulled my gat and popped a few rounds into the air and yell "you wanna fuck me with me mother fucker, i'm fuckin crazy!!!".....

Oh wait that's how I chase unwanted hunters off of my property.
your so cool
you're

and they still keep trespassing, acting like the craziest person in the county doesn't keep them away, so what do you suggest I do?
take note of this progression:

1. Shots in the air - didn't work
2. Shots in trees/the ground near where they are. - TBD
3. Shoot the biggest one, preferably in the non-vitals, but it's really splitting hairs at this point (if you're gonna shoot someone, I say, shoot to kill). - has yet to stop trespassers
Apr 6, 2010 1:25pm
W

WebFire

Go Bucks!

14,779 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:26 PM
Now that was a story worth retelling.
Apr 6, 2010 1:26pm
derek bomar's avatar

derek bomar

Senior Member

3,722 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:28 PM
dude, you're not going to hell...at least not for that. Presbyterian line was good tho
Apr 6, 2010 1:28pm
chs_redskins's avatar

chs_redskins

Senior Member

394 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:38 PM
if you don't want to go to hell, you should attend a church, and talk to their pastor and tell him that you want to accept jesus into your heart and get saved. Hell is not where you want to spend life.
Apr 6, 2010 1:38pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Apr 6, 2010 1:44 PM
Great! My brother and his wife has a different version
Note: They’re Lutheran






Great story....... When my girls where younger almost the same thing happen ( with a guy and his wife) ..but my wife got into mix.
She not good at the verbal lashing area of argumentation …so she calls the lady “Cunt Sack”
I could not help but to stop and look at my wife….we both turned and looked at each. We both could not stop laughing, we just turned and walked away. We laughed and keep making additional remarks …my side hurt from laughing.

After a situation like that you think back and it is so funny ……

The wife and I will save you a spot.........
Apr 6, 2010 1:44pm