These are nothing short of amazing.
They also send graven images of chocolate covered dildos and fake detachable penises to each other regularly.
there are carpet munching hose beasts trying to steal your daughters sweet virgin cherry pie and replace it with the evil lesbian rhubarb.
If anyone would actually think in these terms about their daughter, they're incestuous pedos.
"You keep your ugly lesbigay rhubarb away from my daughter's precious, delicate, sweet cherry pie virginity!"
We all know Ellen is a lesbian, and watching her show can make you homogay.
If your daughter asks to go over to a friends house for the night, even with a parent present they will most likely find a way to suckle on each other’s milksacs.
it is the favorite medium for gays to penetrate your home and your daughter with their huge dildos and other foreign objects they use to satisfy their beaver-lust.
I have now made it my mission this week to find a reason to use the term "beaver-lust" in a sentence.
maybe what they really need is some dirty vagina to make them happy.
She may have lesbians sneaking in through the window and hiding under her bed sniffing her dirty underwear [...] One day his wife innocently walked in on it and herself became infected. By the time he arrived home from work the homogay had taken over his entire family, including his poor 80 year old mother.
In granny's defense, she hadn't gotten any in about 46 years.
Women with short hair either have cancer or are gay.
Do not even let these heathens in your home, for they will only steal your wife’s dirty underwear and sniff them later while using your electric toothbrush in ways you could have never imagined.
Electric toothbrushes are teh ghey. If you have one for her to use, then you've been infected.
[...] and steal your credit cards for sex toy sin.
Mostly because the men are too busy stealing to have sex with their wives. Satan comes in many colors and varieties, and this particular one likes tacos, burning candles, worshiping idols, driving crooked shaped cars, and homo-erotic fornication.
This is when they are most likely to try and call you daughter to sneak out of the window for some homogay beaver eating. If you notice your phone ringing after 6 pm, and your daughter wanting to take the call in private, she is probably well on the road to becoming a homogay slut muncher.
If your little princess’s sweet untouched cherry has already been violated by little Johnny down the street, she will most likely be looking to give it to Jill next.
Again ... incestuous pedo. Pedo Bear approves.
Just because ... that's awesome ...
You should probably also throw out all your bananas, as the lesbian liberal teachers at her school have no doubt given her ideas of how to use them for purposes of carnality and lust and they are already tainted with your daughters sticky lesbojuice.
Ever look at a banana at the supermarket and notice that part of it is a little sticky? Yep, that's right. Lesbojuice.
Side note, why the hell does my spell-check not object to "lesbojuice?"
[...] she will most likely give in to her lust and fornicate herself in the bathroom halfway through the service.
Servicing during service ... I sense a marketing pitch for this.
Gay is contagious and the only way to give your kids a chance at a happy productive life is too keep them away from it at all costs.
Beautiful.
Alright, all you OCers. Go out there and protect your daughter's sweet, delicate, pleasure cherries from the evil enormous chocolate dildos and lesbojuices!
