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Should my Friend Be Worried?

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ Should my Friend Be Worried?
I

iluvz

Senior Member

262 posts
Aug 20, 2010 12:26 AM
My best friend for 17 years is a guy, and I would never put myself in the position of going out and getting so drunk I had to sleep at his house. But then again, I've got kids... So I also don't go out drinking every week... And no way in hell would I be going out getting drunk, sleeping over, or having 'play dates' with any guy that he didn't know/wasnt comfortable with... Not cool. She needs to go!
Aug 20, 2010 12:26am
Mr Miyagi's avatar

Mr Miyagi

wax on, wax off

1,211 posts
Aug 20, 2010 1:04 AM
gerb131;456679 wrote:As long as she doesn't kiss him before, during or after I have no problems because kissing means you love someone.

and as long as you leave your underwear on it is not cheating
Aug 20, 2010 1:04am
M

mattinctown

Aug 20, 2010 1:05 AM
Something is going on, and he needs to tell her to stop and actually have her listen, or yeah, hire a PI. This isn't normal married behavior, I certainly wouldn't put up with it, and most anyone else wouldn't.
Aug 20, 2010 1:05am
L

lhs2ndbase

Senior Member

112 posts
Aug 20, 2010 3:12 AM
sounds like the ol lady is in line for an O.j. Simpson
Aug 20, 2010 3:12am
Curly J's avatar

Curly J

Self Pwner in Training.

7,282 posts
Aug 20, 2010 4:04 AM
Fab1b;456620 wrote:Whore!!

:-)
Fucker that was going to be my response, once aging you spoke my mind for me. I was going to say whore because that was what my first wife was but I'm too drunk to explain anything at this point, just remembering it...Bitch !
Aug 20, 2010 4:04am
G

GeneralsIcer89

Senior Member

281 posts
Aug 20, 2010 4:14 AM
Agreed with the others - sounds like something is going on. Get a PI.
Aug 20, 2010 4:14am
G

gut

Senior Member

15,058 posts
Aug 20, 2010 4:35 AM
Simple and cheap solution....Beg off work one Wednesday night....Then at the last minute as she's getting read for the play date, tell her he'd like to go along and meet Johnny's new friend. If nothing is going on she should be happy he's coming along. Even if she has a great poker face, he should be able to sense any awkwardness when he meets single dad. If he has any suspicion after that, hire a PI.

Anyone know if judges take it easier on the alimony if you divorce because you have proof she was cheating?

Honestly, if he trusts her the playdates could be legit. It's not like they are that uncommon, so why does anything have to be suspicious about single dad (that is, if they weren't having dinner together)? Not saying I wouldn't be concerned, but I'd be careful about straining the relationship because I "don't trust her". I almost think getting drunk and staying out all night every week for a married mother of a 5 and 1 yr old is more concerning behavior, especially since he works late Wed night that's at least 2 nights a week she isn't spending with her husband.
Staying out all night, getting drunk, and having dinner with a guy are huge red flags she isn't happy, and if she isn't cheating already it's only a matter of time.
Aug 20, 2010 4:35am
Glory Days's avatar

Glory Days

Senior Member

7,809 posts
Aug 20, 2010 7:23 AM
gut;456829 wrote:Simple and cheap solution....Beg off work one Wednesday night....Then at the last minute as she's getting read for the play date, tell her he'd like to go along and meet Johnny's new friend. If nothing is going on she should be happy he's coming along. Even if she has a great poker face, he should be able to sense any awkwardness when he meets single dad. If he has any suspicion after that, hire a PI.

Anyone know if judges take it easier on the alimony if you divorce because you have proof she was cheating?

Honestly, if he trusts her the playdates could be legit. It's not like they are that uncommon, so why does anything have to be suspicious about single dad (that is, if they weren't having dinner together)? Not saying I wouldn't be concerned, but I'd be careful about straining the relationship because I "don't trust her". I almost think getting drunk and staying out all night every week for a married mother of a 5 and 1 yr old is more concerning behavior, especially since he works late Wed night that's at least 2 nights a week she isn't spending with her husband.
Staying out all night, getting drunk, and having dinner with a guy are huge red flags she isn't happy, and if she isn't cheating already it's only a matter of time.



pretty much agree with everything said. although i do have a female best friend who i have gone on trips with just me and her and slept in the same bed together. we've never messed around or anything. my last gf wasnt too thrilled(then again, she still stayed in contact with her ex), my current one doesnt mind.

how long as she been "friends" with this playdate dude? and is the show Cheaters still making new episodes haha?
Aug 20, 2010 7:23am
S

Swamp Fox

Senior Member

2,218 posts
Aug 20, 2010 7:59 AM
Your friend should be worried, but I'm not sure what he should be worried about. If he wants to keep the marriage "for the children" then I suppose he needs to see about repairing the obvious problems that exist in this relationship, but it doesn't appear that she cares much since she evidently drags her own kids along on these frequent trysts. My gut feeling is that he probably should be at least contacting a lawyer to see what his options are. I would not recommend that he seeks an affair with someone else first. I would go to the attorney without any legal baggage that could come back to bite him later.
Aug 20, 2010 7:59am
Rotinaj's avatar

Rotinaj

Senior Member

7,699 posts
Aug 20, 2010 8:34 AM
Im surprised no1 has mentioned asking a couple questions 2 the 5 year old. Like does mommy leave you and your bro/sis to watch cartoons while she goes away with whatever the dudes name is.
Aug 20, 2010 8:34am
Scarlet_Buckeye's avatar

Scarlet_Buckeye

Senior Member

5,264 posts
Aug 20, 2010 8:37 AM
Unacceptable behavior!
Aug 20, 2010 8:37am
Heelz's avatar

Heelz

Senior Member

780 posts
Aug 20, 2010 8:47 AM
Rotinaj;456875 wrote:Im surprised no1 has mentioned asking a couple questions 2 the 5 year old. Like does mommy leave you and your bro/sis to watch cartoons while she goes away with whatever the dudes name is.

This.
Kids are so honest it's scary. I prefer the idea of getting off on a Wed night and showing up about 15-20 min into the playdate and if something is happening...
Aug 20, 2010 8:47am
Cat Food Flambe''s avatar

Cat Food Flambe'

Senior Member

1,230 posts
Aug 20, 2010 8:54 AM
The play date thing could under some circumstances be legitimate, but there is a definite pattern emerging here, and it's not going to end well. If she's not cheating with the single dad, she will with someone else sooner or later.

Heelz - I politely but very strongly disagree - under no circumstances should HE drag the kids into this mess. It's bad enough if she's using them for a alibi. Tell him to hire a PI to tail her a couple of these evenings - then lawyer up if needed. Life is too short to deal with an "repeat offender" cheating spouse.
Aug 20, 2010 8:54am
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Aug 20, 2010 9:04 AM
While their may be "nothing" going on physically at the time, I still believe there is something emotional going on. My fiance would never assume that this was good practice for our relationship. I would surprise during a play-date also.
Aug 20, 2010 9:04am
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Aug 20, 2010 9:07 AM
Her vagina is getting pounded into another dimension, no doubt. The only question is, can this guy man up and solve the problem, or will he be stuck making his own sandwiches while his wife wakes up half the block in the throes of passion?
Aug 20, 2010 9:07am
F

fan_from_texas

Senior Member

2,693 posts
Aug 20, 2010 9:46 AM
like_that;456649 wrote:Maybe not to the extremes of sleeping over at another guys house, but you never met a girl who hung out with other guys, even while in a relationship?

Well, I was specifically talking about the extremes of being married and then sleeping over at another guys house after a night out at the bar. That's never acceptable, period.

I don't recall knowing anyone who would hang out with (i.e. date) an opposite sex friend while still in a relationship. That's setting oneself up for trouble.
Aug 20, 2010 9:46am
spartybbcoach's avatar

spartybbcoach

Member

44 posts
Aug 20, 2010 9:52 AM
She's a f****** slut. No mother within her complete mental state would see this as a normal or regular situation. She has two kids and needs to be a mother, not a HO. Time to see either a counselor or the divorce attorney.
Aug 20, 2010 9:52am
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Aug 20, 2010 10:26 AM
I could live with this with two caveats: 1) don't take the kids along and 2) bring home other chics for me.
Aug 20, 2010 10:26am
Hb31187's avatar

Hb31187

Senior Member

8,534 posts
Aug 20, 2010 10:47 AM
fan_from_texas;456922 wrote:Well, I was specifically talking about the extremes of being married and then sleeping over at another guys house after a night out at the bar. That's never acceptable, period.

I don't recall knowing anyone who would hang out with (i.e. date) an opposite sex friend while still in a relationship. That's setting oneself up for trouble.

Hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex while still in a relationship is setting oneself up for trouble?
Aug 20, 2010 10:47am
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:01 AM
Forget infidelity, she appears to have a substance abuse problem.

I can't imagine anyone with a 1 and 5 year old partying like that once a week. How old is she? 22?
Aug 20, 2010 11:01am
derek bomar's avatar

derek bomar

Senior Member

3,722 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:09 AM
this chick sounds like she is getting copious amounts of D on the reg - the play date thing doesn't worry me as much as getting drunk and having orgies with her coworkers and some dude while she has a 1 and 5 yr old.
Aug 20, 2010 11:09am
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:14 AM
Worry.
Aug 20, 2010 11:14am
S

sportchampps

Senior Member

7,361 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:23 AM
He needs to go on Jerry and then we will find out its really his brother but in all seriousness hire a damn pi for a couple weeks
Aug 20, 2010 11:23am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:45 AM
wildcats20;456631 wrote:This.

Because it is totally unacceptable for a guy to do the same EXACT thing.

Yeah you better stop going out with Nicole!! :D
Aug 20, 2010 11:45am
F

fan_from_texas

Senior Member

2,693 posts
Aug 20, 2010 11:58 AM
Hb31187;456967 wrote:Hanging out with a friend of the opposite sex while still in a relationship is setting oneself up for trouble?

Essentially going out on dates with an opposite-sex friend while still in a meaningful relationship creates a number of potential problems that often have long-term negative effects.

If you're 17 and dating someone, sure, I think it's fine to hang out with opposite-sex friends. If you're 30 and married, it's probably a bad idea to be spending significant amounts of time one-on-one with an opposite-sex confidante. I'm willing to bet that the vast majority of affairs started as two opposite-sex friends hanging out together. In theory, it shouldn't pose a problem, but in practice, it rarely ends well.
Aug 20, 2010 11:58am