BORIStheCrusher wrote:

Keebler wrote:

SQ_Crazies wrote: LOL, but it's THEIR wedding...

It is THEIR wedding but its usually common courtesy to invite someone's significant other if its known they have one of a somewhat long term status.

I agree, I wouldn't even bother inviting someone to my wedding if I didn't want their boyfriend/girlfriend there.

What if that person was only dating that gf/bf for only a few months or even less at the time you send out your invites? Do you still invite them then?

FYI I do know what it feels like to not to be invited to a wedding when my fiance was. Almost three years ago my fiance was invited to a wedding of a former co-worker of ours (he knew her longer than me). Suffice it to say the wedding was addressed to him alone and I was not invited (we were just dating at the time for a little over a year). Now I was very angry for a long time about this, especially since the bride (former co-worker) did know me fairly well (so I do understand where people are coming from), but now that I'm trying to plan my own wedding I can see where they were coming from. I'm guessing that they wanted a small wedding and because we weren't engaged or married, I didn't make the cut. Again I was upset, but now that the shoe is on the other foot I am OK with it.

Is it common not to include an option of +1 on a wedding invitation?? I've been in 8 weddings, and have attended probably 20 more. Not once have I ever received an invitation that didn't allow for a +1. If I were dating a girl for a couple months, and was told she couldn't come to the wedding, than I certainly wouldn't attend either.

This is an interesting conversation though.

Typically the tradition observed is married, engaged, long-term relationship are invited with guest (or "+1") . It doesn't mean the 16 year-old cousin gets to bring the new hot girl at school and your weird cousin Louie gets to bring the flavor of the month.

muffy wrote: Typically the tradition observed is married, engaged, long-term relationship are invited with guest (or "+1") . It doesn't mean the 16 year-old cousin gets to bring the new hot girl at school and your weird cousin Louie gets to bring the flavor of the month.

Agreed.

se-alum wrote: Is it common not to include an option of +1 on a wedding invitation?? I've been in 8 weddings, and have attended probably 20 more. Not once have I ever received an invitation that didn't allow for a +1. If I were dating a girl for a couple months, and was told she couldn't come to the wedding, than I certainly wouldn't attend either.

This is an interesting conversation though.

plus ones add up. If you let every single person bring a date or a new gf/bf it could mean having to cut people you really want there. You need to ask yourself is it more important for so-so to have his short-term gf with him or for you to invite another good friend.

On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

I think you're awsome for taking a hooker to a wedding.....You should let word get out, so everyone will remember you as the guy who brought the hooker.

Throw in a curse toast and you're my hero.

Websurfinbird wrote: On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

I hope that's sarcasm.

se-alum wrote:

Websurfinbird wrote: On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

I hope that's sarcasm.

I'm sure it wasn't.

Websurfinbird wrote: On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

Websurfinbird wrote: On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

What do you think the hooker is for? It's so the groom can get a bj in the back room.

wes_mantooth wrote:

SQ_Crazies wrote: Paying for pussy makes you a pussy. Just sayin'.

No matter how you go about getting it....you are always paying for pussy in the long run.

QFT exactly what I was thinking! I don't go out and pay for hookers or escorts but pussy will always cost you money. (99.9% of the time anyway) I have been known to work out some deals with ex's before though.

Websurfinbird wrote: On another note for those who insist on bringing dates. How much do you give as a wedding gift? It better be good ...

I like you. Call off the wedding and see me instead.

so what if you have a fiance' but only have been together 6 months? can they still come to the wedding? is that better than someone who has been dating a year, but not engaged?

Damn....tough crowd.

I haven't even asked around to see who is available for free. I think it will be funny as hell to take an escort to a wedding. I've already told some people my plan so people will know what is going on.

At this point not only am I scoping agency's, I'm also trying to decide what to order.... cougar, chocalate, vanilla, asian sensation, tranny, etc.

June18 wrote: Damn....tough crowd.

I haven't even asked around to see who is available for free. I think it will be funny as hell to take an escort to a wedding. I've already told some people my plan so people will know what is going on.

At this point not only am I scoping agency's, I'm also trying to decide what to order.... cougar, chocalate, vanilla, asian sensation, tranny, etc.

Go with the tranny, just don't forget the lube.

If the escort you take books some other dates from the wedding you better get some cash kicked up to you as a finders fee.

June18 wrote: ....... tranny .....

This.

you can only take one? damn hahah.

Just be careful with the tranny or you might end up like this.

I can honestly say the hall size and cost are not a good enough reason to publicly invite 1/2 of a couple even if you do not know the significant other. I have struggled with this in my head and it's simply disrespectful.

You either invite the whole entity or you don't invite them at all. I would respond no to the invitation.

If we get to a point that I am scrutinizing my daughters list like that something's very wrong.

tranny for sure....that is a do doubter.

Con_Alma wrote: I can honestly say the hall size and cost are not a good enough reason to publicly invite 1/2 of a couple even if you do not know the significant other. I have struggled with this in my head and it's simply disrespectful.

You either invite the whole entity or you don't invite them at all. I would respond no to the invitation.

If we get to a point that I am scrutinizing my daughters list like that something's very wrong.

While I respect your opinion, I respectfully disagree. If its my good friend's girlfriend, she's in. If it's a fringe invite (like a co-worker), and their new girlfriend isn't invited, so be it. I would understand if they are upset, but that is life. The wedding is already over $60K ... not sure about your financial situation, but I am not prepared to add another $10K so some random dates can come.

I think we have similar sentiments in that I respect your position but we clearly disagree with each other.

As a response to your clarification I never suggested nor implied that a non-invited significant other of a friend might be upset. Being upset or not isn't what I would consider being the issue. Respecting the friends status as a couple and the importance of that to you as a friend is.

I never suggested the date was "random" but rather I specifically addressed the scenario a significant other that you simply didn't know as opposed to a random date. I think Websurf addressed that earlier and the more I think about it we may not be as far off idealistically as it may seem.

Finances are not the issue but rather how you determine what constitutes an invitee. You simply count the invitation as two or zero. If there is not an ability to fund the number of desired attendees you don't invite them...either of them.

In addition, the gift amount should never, ever been considered nor confused with whether or not to invite a significant other or not. Guest invitations are made because there is a desire to have those respective folks present to share in and celebrate this day of union. There is a cost to having guests. They are not buying a service of entertainment.

Gifts are offered as a heartfelt, congratulatory symbol and shouldn't be expected but rather appreciated humbly when received. These two are very different things and have nothing to do with each other.

My financial situation has nothing to do with my opinion or approach. Although I feel very blessed to be in the situation I am in, were I to have more money or substantially less the opinion of inviting both or neither wouldn't change. If I had significantly less ability to fund a wedding than I do the respective couple would simply not be on our invitation list...neither of them.

I have heard that planning for weddings can be stressful. I hope that any strife that may emerge during the planning process completely vanishes come your wedding day. You'll make the decisions that are right for the two of you and in the end that's all that really matters. It is thought provoking when these topics arise and I'm glad you shared your situation and made me think about where I might stand on such an issue.

Thanks Con_Alma, appreciate the kind words. I don't think there is a black or white answer here. Complete understand your stance of either a 2-person invite or none at all. In a perfect world, I would LOVE to invite as many people as possible. When we booked the room (and note, because our wedding date is 10-10-10, we had to book a room EARLY) we thought a space for 200 would be more than big enough. But with our families, friends, dates, and some of websurfinbird's dad's political friends (he is an NYC attorney), the list has skyrocketed.