Relationship with your boss/supervisor

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SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

Senior Member

35,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:39 AM
How does everyone try and go about dealing with their immediate supervisor, on a relationship level.

Do you try and be friends/cool with them? Do you try and not have any relationship at all with them?

Reason I ask is because I've always tried to be as 'cool' with my boss as possible. To the point where we would go get drinks after work several times a month, get lunch together every now and then, talk about personal lives (ie what we did on the weekend, etc) and all that jazz.

I'm starting to think this is a bad way to go about my relationship with my boss. And I may try and be as absent in their daily affairs as possible.
Nov 15, 2013 10:39am
Automatik's avatar

Automatik

Senior Member

14,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:48 AM
I was "cool" with my last boss. On a friend level, it was ok and we were pretty tight, but she still sucked as a boss. She was micromanager and "ruling w/ fear" if you get my drift. I believe she would load me up with extra work because we were tight on a friend level and knew I wouldn't object much. I understand that approach at first for a new employee, but after 2 years and some change it got old.

For the one replacing her, I'm going about it a different way. We have friendly small talk, but I'm not getting anymore personal with her.
Nov 15, 2013 10:48am
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BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:50 AM
My boss is like an older brother to me. I've been here 20 years and he made me an owner. He's had my back/bailed me out of "jams" when I was younger and I've returned the favor by being the top revenue producer in the company. I would consider him a friend, definitely. Can't say that all situations would/should be like this but I work for a smaller company.
Nov 15, 2013 10:50am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:51 AM
I'm OK with being "cool" with the boss, but the ball is in their court. I won't seek out a relationship with the boss.
Nov 15, 2013 10:51am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:52 AM
I think it also depends on the nature of the job. If you're a construction worker, then by all means. If you're just another cog in the corporate machine, then I'd say hell no. (I'm envisioning Office Space here).
Nov 15, 2013 10:52am
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

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35,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:53 AM
Automatik;1536100 wrote:I was "cool" with my last boss. On a friend level, it was ok and we were pretty tight, but she still sucked as a boss. She was micromanager and "ruling w/ fear" if you get my drift. I believe she would load me up with extra work because we were tight on a friend level and knew I wouldn't object much. I understand that approach at first for a new employee, but after 2 years and some change it got old.

For the one replacing her, I'm going about it a different way. We have friendly small talk, but I'm not getting anymore personal with her.
Yeah I'm in that exact same boat. Had a supervisor for 7 months, we became cool and I would constantly get extra work, called in on my off day, asked to do the 'shit' work of our job.

New guy started this week and I can tell he's trying to be buddy buddy on a personal level and I was going along with it at first but now shit is already pissing me off.

I'm sitting in a hospital because my gf is really sick. I called and texted him this morning that I wasn't going to be this morning because I had to take her here. I look at my phone a few min ago and I have 3 texts, 1 asking where a specific file is and 2 asking if I'm gonna be back in today.

Just seemed kind of in poor taste to me. I'm in a hospital worrying about my gf, don't ask me when I think I'll be there.
Nov 15, 2013 10:53am
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BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:53 AM
ernest_t_bass;1536106 wrote:I think it also depends on the nature of the job. If you're a construction worker, then by all means. If you're just another cog in the corporate machine, then I'd say hell no. (I'm envisioning Office Space here).
Tend to agree with this.
Nov 15, 2013 10:53am
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:54 AM
My boss is an ignorant asshole that has no business being a supervisor. He only has the job because off affirmative action. No desire to be cool with him. I show him respect as my boss, that's as far as it goes.
Nov 15, 2013 10:54am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:55 AM
I try not to have a relationship with my boss outside of work until they're not my boss anymore. At a previous job I worked at for 3 years my boss and I were 'cool' but not very close. He was easy going and we got along well but he made sure there was a line. If we were at happy hours together with other co-workers he would rarely drink and if he did he'd have one and leave. Only one time did we all end up going out and getting drunk and it was a group of us at a conference. So there were exceptions but for the most part it was a friendly professional relationship.

My current boss I'm friendly with but wouldn't have a relationship with outside of work. I think it can cause problems if you get too close. You get a situation like Auto where they take advantage of you because you're friendly. Also - i wouldn't get too close with a female boss, especially if she were close in my age, god knows what HR nightmare is waiting around the corner.
Nov 15, 2013 10:55am
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:56 AM
GoChiefs;1536109 wrote:My boss is an ignorant asshole that has no business being a supervisor. He only has the job because off affirmative action. No desire to be cool with him. I show him respect as my boss, that's as far as it goes.
No way, dude. He HAS to be qualified, amirite?
Nov 15, 2013 10:56am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:57 AM
Raw Dawgin' it;1536111 wrote:I try not to have a relationship with my boss outside of work until they're not my boss anymore. At a previous job I worked at for 3 years my boss and I were 'cool' but not very close. He was easy going and we got along well but he made sure there was a line. If we were at happy hours together with other co-workers he would rarely drink and if he did he'd have one and leave. Only one time did we all end up going out and getting drunk and it was a group of us at a conference. So there were exceptions but for the most part it was a friendly professional relationship.

My current boss I'm friendly with but wouldn't have a relationship with outside of work. I think it can cause problems if you get too close. You get a situation like Auto where they take advantage of you because you're friendly. Also - i wouldn't get too close with a female boss, especially if she were close in my age, god knows what HR nightmare is waiting around the corner.
Female bosses are the worst.
Nov 15, 2013 10:57am
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BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:57 AM
We need Fab4runner to chime in on this...lol. Her boss sounds like a real peach.
Nov 15, 2013 10:57am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

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27,879 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:58 AM
ernest_t_bass;1536112 wrote:No way, dude. He HAS to be qualified, amirite?
All minorities are qualified because white people hurt their feelz.

#affirmativeactionlogic
Nov 15, 2013 10:58am
said_aouita's avatar

said_aouita

Banned

8,532 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:58 AM
Awesome. My bosses are great.
Nov 15, 2013 10:58am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:58 AM
BR1986FB;1536114 wrote:We need Fab4runner to chime in on this...lol. Her boss sounds like a real peach.
If she made more sandwiches I don't think there would be a problem
Nov 15, 2013 10:58am
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BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Nov 15, 2013 10:59 AM
Raw Dawgin' it;1536118 wrote:If she made more sandwiches I don't think there would be a problem
No, her boss is a buffoon. Certifiable idiot.
Nov 15, 2013 10:59am
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

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35,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:03 AM
Another missed call. I wonder when I should seriously consider reporting this. When your employee, in a corporate environment, calls off, you can't keep hounding him asking when they'll be back in
Nov 15, 2013 11:03am
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BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:04 AM
SportsAndLady;1536125 wrote:Another missed call. I wonder when I should seriously consider reporting this. When your employee, in a corporate environment, calls off, you can't keep hounding him asking when they'll be back in
This is pretty weak on your bosses part.
Nov 15, 2013 11:04am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:05 AM
SportsAndLady;1536125 wrote:Another missed call. I wonder when I should seriously consider reporting this. When your employee, in a corporate environment, calls off, you can't keep hounding him asking when they'll be back in
just turn your phone off or send back a text "I'll talk to you about all this tomorrow" and then don't respond again
Nov 15, 2013 11:05am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:05 AM
SportsAndLady;1536125 wrote:Another missed call. I wonder when I should seriously consider reporting this. When your employee, in a corporate environment, calls off, you can't keep hounding him asking when they'll be back in
Perhaps you should answer him back? Even on my days off I still get phone calls and I answer them and try to help out where needed.
Nov 15, 2013 11:05am
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

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35,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:07 AM
Raw Dawgin' it;1536130 wrote:just turn your phone off or send back a text "I'll talk to you about all this tomorrow" and then don't respond again
THats what I did an hour ago. When he resent the "are you coming back in today?" Text, I said I don't know until I hear from her doctor that she is okay which I don't know when that will be I will let you know when I know.

I want to turn my phone off but her parents are texting and calling me about this.

Ugh
Nov 15, 2013 11:07am
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

Senior Member

35,632 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:08 AM
sleeper;1536132 wrote:Perhaps you should answer him back? Even on my days off I still get phone calls and I answer them and try to help out where needed.
I have responded

But when my gf is lying in a hospital bed, I'm not exactly wanting to talk work with my boss.
Nov 15, 2013 11:08am
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:09 AM
clearly she isn't that bad if you're on OC...jk.

I'd send a text/response that doesn't leave anything open.
Nov 15, 2013 11:09am
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:13 AM
Well at my last job, my boss, the exec director, was a unfriendly, short tempered/sighted emotional total dumbass. Once she called me an idiot, I got the fuck out of there. Left them high and dry. I did my best to stay the fuck away from her at all costs.

At my current place of employment, I've been here since March and am on my 3rd supervisor. My last one (the middle one I guess) was great. She refused to work insane hours, was friendly and helpful and got her shit done. We were friendly and discussed things but not friends. New boss, is super nice lady, EXCEPT when it comes to work. She's a micromanager, uptight, rigid super type A personality. I generally work longer hours than she does, but I still get my email inbox FLOODED by her. She sits about 3 ft away from me but prefers to communicate via email. I've gone to one HH with her, which was ok but a bit awkward. I'm waiting to hit my year mark then going to ask to transfer. Might be more friendly with her following my move.
Nov 15, 2013 11:13am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Nov 15, 2013 11:14 AM
BR1986FB;1536114 wrote:We need Fab4runner to chime in on this...lol. Her boss sounds like a real peach.
THE WORST!!!!!!!

[video=youtube_share;qdchLT81ygc][/video]

But seriously. The worst. Very small office here (just him, his son, and me), so it's basically impossible to not have a relationship. I try to keep it professional, but he takes it very personally that we are not "close" or "family-like" and that we do not do more activities outside of work.
Nov 15, 2013 11:14am