Marriage

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hoops23's avatar

hoops23

Senior Member

15,696 posts
Feb 19, 2013 2:44 PM
Still regarded or a thing of the past?

The divorce rate in this country is alarming, and with the continuing empowerment to women, they no longer need to get married to be financially stable or secure like they did just 50 years ago.

What is the OC's opinions on marriage?
Feb 19, 2013 2:44pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 19, 2013 2:48 PM
I hope to never get married. Not religious and it's not important to me.

People that want to, more power to them. Hope theyre happy.
Feb 19, 2013 2:48pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Feb 19, 2013 2:53 PM
As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
Feb 19, 2013 2:53pm
hoops23's avatar

hoops23

Senior Member

15,696 posts
Feb 19, 2013 2:55 PM
Agreed.

Reason I brought this up is several months ago I went through a nasty break up with my longtime girlfriend, whom I have a child with. I just imagine how much nastier it would have been had we been married.

I never have been big into marriage. I think if two people love each, they don't need the courts to make anything official. It adds more financial stress, and probably more personal stress. A friend recently got married and I asked him what was different now. He said "nothing," to which I replied "So what's the big deal?"
Feb 19, 2013 2:55pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 19, 2013 2:56 PM
I eventually will get married but not for another 5 years minimum.
Feb 19, 2013 2:56pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:02 PM
ernest_t_bass;1392351 wrote:As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
Can have a family etc... without being married. Just sayin'
Feb 19, 2013 3:02pm
Pick6's avatar

Pick6

A USA American

14,946 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:02 PM
I will get married, but probably not til late 20s or even 30. My biggest fear of marriage is divorce. I want to make sure I marry the right one.
Feb 19, 2013 3:02pm
W

WebFire

Go Bucks!

14,779 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:06 PM
Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
Feb 19, 2013 3:06pm
W

WebFire

Go Bucks!

14,779 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:07 PM
ernest_t_bass;1392351 wrote:As a married man, I'm still torn. There are things that having a family provide to you that you can receive nowhere else in this world. However, fucking random bitches is cool too!

Here is what is hard for late 20's-30's don't realize, though. You're not always going to be how you are right now. You may love your life right now, but at some point, those young broads you (might be) are banging right now won't always want to bang you! :)
And this is pretty spot on.
Feb 19, 2013 3:07pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:07 PM
I'm married and I enjoy it.
Feb 19, 2013 3:07pm
hoops23's avatar

hoops23

Senior Member

15,696 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:09 PM
justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.
Do you enjoy it more than when you weren't married to your wife? For instance, when you guys were just dating? Do you feel you love her more now that you are married?
Feb 19, 2013 3:09pm
B

BR1986FB

Senior Member

24,104 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:10 PM
Was married for a very brief time. Will never do it again.
Feb 19, 2013 3:10pm
hoops23's avatar

hoops23

Senior Member

15,696 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:11 PM
WebFire;1392367 wrote:Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
Maybe, maybe not. I don't think there are any actual studies on this belief, however, there are a lot of kids with split/divorced parents in America.

Sometimes, marriage can also force a couple who no longer love/like one another to stay together, causing more stress for the couple and everyone else involved, including the children.
Feb 19, 2013 3:11pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:11 PM
justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.

This.
Feb 19, 2013 3:11pm
Fly4Fun's avatar

Fly4Fun

Senior Member

7,730 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:13 PM
There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
Feb 19, 2013 3:13pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:15 PM
Fly4Fun;1392382 wrote:There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
Not for me it doesn't. The answer is still I don't want to. As for estate planning, just hire a lawyer and get a will. Less than a wedding.
Feb 19, 2013 3:15pm
hoops23's avatar

hoops23

Senior Member

15,696 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:16 PM
Fly4Fun;1392382 wrote:There are certain legal benefits such as tax breaks and such. And beyond that there are issues regarding estate planning that would be different between a married couple and a non-married couple.

It's easy to think about this question in the terms of how things are different from when you were dating, or why get married?

But once you find the right person, does the question just change vantage points and become why not?

I personally have nothing against marriage and I plan to be married in my future.
I have nothing against marriage either, I just don't believe I want to be married. Of course, that could change, but I'd imagine it'd take a lot to change my mind on that belief.
Feb 19, 2013 3:16pm
4cards's avatar

4cards

Ohio Chatter Legend

2,551 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:16 PM
...I've been married for 30+years and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't love my wife with all my heart and I still have that desire some days to drop her in a hole in the back yard and throw dirt on top of her!

(pretty sure some days she feels the same way about me!)
Feb 19, 2013 3:16pm
said_aouita's avatar

said_aouita

Banned

8,532 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:17 PM
Both my brothers are divorced. Sister divorced twice. My parents almost got divorced.
I decided not to even bother.

Never will I get married.
Feb 19, 2013 3:17pm
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar

Raw Dawgin' it

Just Ain't Care

11,466 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:21 PM
justincredible;1392370 wrote:I'm married and I enjoy it.
This - and we got $15k in cash.
Feb 19, 2013 3:21pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:21 PM
This is a problem that I struggle with, as I am not religious at all. What is the point of getting married besides tax benefit? Does that make the relationship any less real or something? I'm more interested in the non religious married people's view on this. Is it society's view, you want the gifts, takes relationship to next level, etc...
Feb 19, 2013 3:21pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:22 PM
Raw Dawgin' it;1392396 wrote:This - and we got $15k in cash.
Def a plus.
Feb 19, 2013 3:22pm
W

wkfan

Senior Member

1,641 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:25 PM
WebFire;1392367 wrote:Marriage makes people work harder to stay together through tough times. You think the divorce rate is high, just imagine how high the "split" rate would be if there were no marriage at all. Then you'd have a lot of kids with split parents.

That is really the only benefit I see. I can see where it might psychological benefits for some people as well.
I wish that this were always the case. IMO, too many people rush into marriage, or get married for the wrong reason. Then, when it doesn't work, just easily flush it.

Also IMO, there is a 'right order' to do this and a wrong 'order'

Right:
1. Date
2. Marry
3. Live together
4. Have kids

I see way too many who alter that order, and fail at it. To be fair, I see some that alter the order and succeed too..but the 'fails' outweigh the 'successes'.

Again, IMO.
Feb 19, 2013 3:25pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:26 PM
The problem has to do with marriage laws currently being heavily slanted against men. They were made during a time when women couldn't even vote much less leave the kitchen; times have changed but the laws remain the same. Fix the laws, and you'll see more younger men willing to get married.
Feb 19, 2013 3:26pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Feb 19, 2013 3:28 PM
Commander of Awesome;1392397 wrote:This is a problem that I struggle with, as I am not religious at all. What is the point of getting married besides tax benefit? Does that make the relationship any less real or something? I'm more interested in the non religious married people's view on this. Is it society's view, you want the gifts, takes relationship to next level, etc...
I'm not married (yet) but legal protections that come along with it would seem to make your life easier. Being (legally) married affords you more rights to your spouse in times of stress (that other person will be the go-to for health care decisions, for example, and allowed visitation to you in the hospital should you be sick easier than a non-married partner). Spouses can be eligible for death benefits more easily than non-legally-bound individuals.

That's just my opinion from limited investigation, I could be way off generally. Never been married and never been in a hospital for more than a few hours.
Feb 19, 2013 3:28pm