Was this rude, or am I just hopelessly old-school?

Home Archive Serious Business Was this rude, or am I just hopelessly old-school?
Cat Food Flambe''s avatar

Cat Food Flambe'

Senior Member

1,230 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:39 PM
Lady D'Friskies and I took our parents (her Mom, my Dad, age 79 and 82 respectively) out for dinner in Dublin this evening. There was a short wait for an open table.

There was very little seating available in the waiting area, and three seats worth was taken up by a couple of what looked to be 12-year boys playing some sort of video game. There was nothing wrong with them as far as I could tell.

While is is going on, both of our parents, as well as a lady who looked to be about eight months pregnant, were standing around in full view of the boys. After ten minutes, my MIL was obviously suffering, so I asked the boys if they could move over so she could sit. They did, but I got a look from them as though I'd asked them give up screwing until they were forty.

The woman with the boys was engaged with a cell phone conversation during the entire period - no help there. To the credit of the hostess, she saw what was going on and managed to seat us AND the pregnant lady ahead of the boys and Ms Yapsalot (who sure didn't overlook THAT - "They, ah, called ahead, Ma'am"). :)

Growing up, I was taught that an able-bodied kids didn't take a seat in a situation like that unless all the women and older adults had a place to sit (not that there were many of the latter - generally, you were run down by a sabertooth tiger by the time you turned 40 and lost a few steps. :) ). Is this now completely out of vogue??
Aug 6, 2011 9:39pm
justincredible's avatar

justincredible

Nick Mangold

32,056 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:47 PM
Nope, not rude at all.
Aug 6, 2011 9:47pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:49 PM
No, but society is dumber.
Aug 6, 2011 9:49pm
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:50 PM
I guess it's a little old school, but more so kids that age and especially boys just are very to their own needs...not purposely rude...just ignorant of how to act and even when to be aware of those around them. It's commonplace for most of us....but I guarantee less of us were that way in Jr high....in fact I guarantee. Too bad the guardian was too busy to set the correct example.
Aug 6, 2011 9:50pm
P

Polar Bear 73

Senior Member

216 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:52 PM
cff, if you are hopelessly old school, i must have been in the same class. It is simply a matter of common courstesy and respect. I can proudly say that I have seen my 14 year old son, placed in this same scenario, willingly give up his seat, without being asked or prompted.
Aug 6, 2011 9:52pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Aug 6, 2011 9:52 PM
I always give my seat up if needed. Unfortunately, I see many that don't.
Aug 6, 2011 9:52pm
rmolin73's avatar

rmolin73

Senior Member

4,278 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:25 PM
Nope not old school at all.
Aug 6, 2011 10:25pm
O

outdoorsman

Senior Member

417 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:27 PM
Rude seems to be the new cool. Damn shame.
Aug 6, 2011 10:27pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:42 PM
WTF did I just read?
Aug 6, 2011 10:42pm
F

fortfan

Senior Member

339 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:49 PM
Kids are incredibly self-centered today. Sounds like maybe their mother is self-centered too-so they have a good role model.
Aug 6, 2011 10:49pm
B

bigkahuna

Senior Member

4,454 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:49 PM
Polar Bear 73;853664 wrote:cff, if you are hopelessly old school, i must have been in the same class. It is simply a matter of common courstesy and respect. I can proudly say that I have seen my 14 year old son, placed in this same scenario, willingly give up his seat, without being asked or prompted.

I'm glad to hear that there are people that still teach their kids manners. Bravo to you.

As far as the OP goes. You're not rude at all. I too have been sitting down and given my seat up to pretty much anyone else; older person or even the same aged woman.
Aug 6, 2011 10:49pm
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Aug 6, 2011 10:50 PM
The sad part is the two boys and their mom probably still don't get it.
Aug 6, 2011 10:50pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Aug 6, 2011 11:29 PM
ernest_t_bass;853725 wrote:WTF did I just read?
This.
Cat Food Flambe';853652 wrote:Lady D'Friskies and I took our parents (her Mom, my Dad, age 79 and 82 respectively) out for dinner in Dublin this evening. There was a short wait for an open table.

There was very little seating available in the waiting area, and three seats worth was taken up by a couple of what looked to be 12-year boys playing some sort of video game. There was nothing wrong with them as far as I could tell.

While is is going on, both of our parents, as well as a lady who looked to be about eight months pregnant, were standing around in full view of the boys. After ten minutes, my MIL was obviously suffering, so I asked the boys if they could move over so she could sit. They did, but I got a look from them as though I'd asked them give up screwing until they were forty.

The woman with the boys was engaged with a cell phone conversation during the entire period - no help there. To the credit of the hostess, she saw what was going on and managed to seat us AND the pregnant lady ahead of the boys and Ms Yapsalot (who sure didn't overlook THAT - "They, ah, called ahead, Ma'am"). :)

Growing up, I was taught that an able-bodied kids didn't take a seat in a situation like that unless all the women and older adults had a place to sit (not that there were many of the latter - generally, you were run down by a sabertooth tiger by the time you turned 40 and lost a few steps. :) ). Is this now completely out of vogue??
Aug 6, 2011 11:29pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Aug 7, 2011 12:00 AM
Manners are almost nonexistent in today's youth, and the reason is pretty clear, look at the woman who was in charge of those youngsters. I have three boys and they all have a sense of chivalry. I am proud of the fact that I have ingrained that in them
Aug 7, 2011 12:00am
G

Gardens35

Senior Member

4,929 posts
Aug 7, 2011 12:07 AM
Rude is rude regardless of when.

There was plenty of it to go around back in the 60's and 70's too.
Aug 7, 2011 12:07am
J

jmog

Senior Member

6,567 posts
Aug 7, 2011 3:08 AM
I would have beat my boys if they had done that.

Matter of fact, if me and my sons were sitting when you walked in, all of us would have got up together and offered the seats to the pregnant woman and your 2 parents.

I'm not that old, 32, and I was raised like this. At first it threw my wife for a loop early on when I would open doors for other girls and give up my seat to other women while waiting. Then when she saw I did it for women, old people, pregnant women, etc she realized I was just a respectful guy.

I am trying to raise my boys to be the same way.
Aug 7, 2011 3:08am
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

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7,817 posts
Aug 7, 2011 3:25 AM
Each generation becomes more self absorbed and self centered as time passes. It will only get worse I fear.
Aug 7, 2011 3:25am
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
Aug 7, 2011 8:13 AM
Not rude at all.

It's sad that this is even thought to be "old school".
Aug 7, 2011 8:13am
Fly4Fun's avatar

Fly4Fun

Senior Member

7,730 posts
Aug 7, 2011 9:37 AM
dwccrew;853912 wrote:Each generation becomes more self absorbed and self centered as time passes. It will only get worse I fear.

I love statements like this.

The old "things were so much better in my day" mentality cracks me up all the time. One little anecdote doesn't speak for a whole generation. And even if it did just because one generation changes in one aspect, it doesn't mean as a whole it is necessarily worse. I would consider racism to be pretty self-absorbed/self centered because people wouldn't even take the time to learn about others. Racism starts with ignorance. People are ignorant because they are self-centered.

Therefore on that aspect I'd make the argument that people 40 years ago were a lot more self-centered than they are today. (I'm not saying racism is gone today, but it is a lot less prevalent.)

I hate it when people proclaim essentially that everything was better in their generation and society is only going downhill.
Aug 7, 2011 9:37am
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Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Aug 7, 2011 9:38 AM
yes.
Aug 7, 2011 9:38am
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Aug 7, 2011 10:01 AM
see no problem with it at all. Kudos to you
Aug 7, 2011 10:01am
Captain Cavalier's avatar

Captain Cavalier

Senior Member

208 posts
Aug 7, 2011 10:42 AM
I don't believe it was rude at all, unless, of course, it was asked rudely.
Fly4Fun;853950 wrote:I hate it when people proclaim essentially that everything was better in their generation and society is only going downhill.
Maybe not everything but seeing what is deemed as "acceptable" on TV nowadays may be partly to blame for some of the problems.
Aug 7, 2011 10:42am
B

bo shemmy3337

Senior Member

962 posts
Aug 7, 2011 10:46 AM
If I am sitting down and an elderly, pregnant, or disabled person is forced to stand I will get up.
Aug 7, 2011 10:46am
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Aug 7, 2011 11:00 AM
I was never much for sitting -- standing's where it's at.
I'm not shocked the kids didn't notice an elderly couple in need of seating, but if they gave you a look/bad attitude, that would have pissed me off.
Aug 7, 2011 11:00am
F

fan_from_texas

Senior Member

2,693 posts
Aug 7, 2011 12:12 PM
You obviously did the right thing, and the kids were/are morons. If your generation hadn't been such complete screw-ups as parents, kids today would be much better.
Aug 7, 2011 12:12pm