O-Trap;654986 wrote:Who are the people in that picture? Admittedly, I don't recognize either.

James Carville and Mary Matalin.

Opposites usually attract for some reason is all I have to say. I could expound with all kinds of useless nonsense, but I will save that for another day. Just go with the flow and do what you feel like, when you feel like it.

Short term....it does not matter, but I think the longer you go into a relationship the more important it is.

The longer ya are with someone the more your ideals come to light. It really can be difficult long term if you have alot of difference in your ideals.

If you're dating to have fun and maybe a hook-up, then don't worry about politics.

If you're dating to find someone to have a long-term relationship/marriage with, then it's important to be at least generally on the same side of things.

fan_from_texas;655095 wrote:If you're dating to have fun and maybe a hook-up, then don't worry about politics.

If you're dating to find someone to have a long-term relationship/marriage with, then it's important to be at least generally on the same side of things.

That seems to sum it up.

fan_from_texas;655095 wrote:If you're dating to have fun and maybe a hook-up, then don't worry about politics.

If you're dating to find someone to have a long-term relationship/marriage with, then it's important to be at least generally on the same side of things.

september63;655123 wrote:That seems to sum it up.

Eh I dunno. It really just depends on the couple. A lot of people can make it work even if they have different views. It really just depends on each situation. Wildcats and I don't agree on everything (even though he knows he is wrong and has to come around to the right side ) and we're still going to get hitched.

it's how important it is to you... b/c he probably doesn't care what u think so it's not important to him.

Fab4Runner;655127 wrote:Eh I dunno. It really just depends on the couple. A lot of people can make it work even if they have different views. It really just depends on each situation. Wildcats and I don't agree on everything (even though he knows he is wrong and has to come around to the right side ) and we're still going to get hitched.

I don't think people have to agree on everything (far from it), but there are certain core values/beliefs that it's important to share. E.g., I have a pro-life father-in-law and a pro-choice mother-in-law, but they get along great. But it's hard to fathom most relationships with a San Fran hippie and a Birmingham conservative working out in the long run, even if the initial attraction is there. Generally, I agree that people can make it work with differing views, as long as they're good at handling conflict. But still, if there are significant disagreements over major issues, I see this as being a long-run hurdle.

Somewhat important, see the thread about the sex crazed wife? That usually don't happen after they get the ring on.

http://www.ohiochatter.com/forum/threads/22262-Man-Seeks-Protection-From-Sex-Crazed-Wife-in-Germany

fan_from_texas;655136 wrote:I don't think people have to agree on everything (far from it), but there are certain core values/beliefs that it's important to share. E.g., I have a pro-life father-in-law and a pro-choice mother-in-law, but they get along great. But it's hard to fathom most relationships with a San Fran hippie and a Birmingham conservative working out in the long run, even if the initial attraction is there. Generally, I agree that people can make it work with differing views, as long as they're good at handling conflict. But still, if there are significant disagreements over major issues, I see this as being a long-run hurdle.

Yeah I would say that for most couples it would be an issue...but I also think there is no harm in dating this person and finding out. Mexi is just a commitment phobe at this point in her life and could be using this as an excuse to not try (she knows this so it's not me bashing her at all). And like otrap said...just because he may have conservative values doesn't mean he can't still have a great relationship with her brother that is gay. Even if he doesn't agree with the lifestyle it doesn't mean he cannot learn to love her brother and other gay individuals. There are a lot of things about a lot of people that I don't know about but that wouldn't stop me from being their friend/loving them.

wildcats20;654877 wrote:HA

DATE NIGHT!!

Just look at fab and I mexi....pretty might

STFU Jakey POO! hahahaaaa

If he's hot, I'd put up with it. Chances are, he will dispel his ignorance over time, especially if you have a gay brother. He was probably just saying that because the masses are homophobic, so he probably isn't strongly convicted on that. And for Sarah Palin, he probably was just saying that because you are a woman. I don't know of anyone who seriously thinks Sarah Palin is anything but a flippin' joke.

I found that simply telling the other person what their ideals are and following up with five across the eyes as a teaching lesson is a great way to ensure this isn't a problem.

THere are a lot of good responses on here. I am going to give him a chance.

Fab: i already said i would want to change him bc i wouldnt want someone to do that to me.

Also, someone said something about "i thought i knew everything at 25" i really honestly don't feel that way. Thats why i said i am not saying either side is right, my point is that I will never change how i feel about gays getting married it is a strong personal conviction with a strong bias bc my brother partially raised me. I am a little more lenient with other issues. I am a commitment phobe... it freaks me out to trust someone like that. I am not really ready to get in a relationship with someone but he is a great guy. He is nice and clearly absolutely interested in me... guys like him don't come around often. Ughhh i literally hate feelings or being vulnerable... and emo which is what i am currently.

I think it is interesting bc some ppl dont think it is a big deal while others do. i get that it really matters what i think, but it is frustrating. My problem is that i am attracted to country boys with family values but i would prefer they were a little more moderate. i don't think i could tolerate watching Fox news on a regular basis.

And to the Sarah Palin comment: there are plenty of ppl that love her... i really don't get it but it is there. WHen he made the sarah palin comment i was extremely disappointed

HA



DATE NIGHT!!



Just look at fab and I mexi....pretty might

STFU Jakey POO! hahahaaaa

Haha. She needs bant for revealing my identity!!

mexappeal12;655382 wrote: Fab: i already said i would want to change him bc i wouldnt want someone to do that to me.



And to the Sarah Palin comment: there are plenty of ppl that love her... i really don't get it but it is there. WHen he made the sarah palin comment i was extremely disappointed

I know I noticed your comment. I was actually just expounding on that issue. If you don't try to change his mind (which you won't) and HE never changes it either is that something you can live with long term? That was my point. I am not saying you need to make that decision now...or even in a few months. But before you were to get completely serious with him it would be a question I would want answered. Obviously if he changed his views on things it would make it easier...but that's not a definite.

And as for Sarah Palin...while I don't love her I also don't hate her. I think she can do a lot of good for certain issues that are important to me...but as a commentator, activist, etc and NOT as a politician. I do not hate her and I do not think she is the idiotic, racist bigot that a lot of her critics seem to think she is. This is not directed specifically at you, Mex...just my opinion on her in general.

wildcats20;655411 wrote:Haha. She needs bant for revealing my identity!!

If my name was "POO" and it was revealed, I'd be pissed too. Consider it done.

Wildcats... i was actually referring to her other boyfriend... SORRY

You should just take a passive approach to politics since in the end of the day you don't have a real "say" in the matter anyway. It works for me.

"SARAH PALIN IS SUCH A FUCKUP!!!!!!!"
"I don't give a shit either day. What's for dinner?"
"HOW CAN YO--I'll fix you a big steak and then give you a blow job"

Mex, as a country boy from a town of 1,500 white people (3 black people have EVER graduated from our high school) I have to say he probably has 99% of the same beliefs as I do. But the great thing about most country boys is that they're very laid back and easy to get along with if they have feelings for you. If you don't try to change him and tell him what to do, he won't try to change you and tell you what to do.

I would think that as long as you guys have a serious talk about this early on (say maybe a 3rd or 4th date) and realize that you have differing political stances, you can agree that you can both accept each other as you are. I have very strong beliefs about certain topics, BUT I was raised to remember that other people's opinions are important to and their beliefs/core values are as important to them as mine are to me. You can always discuss politics, just don't get so mad at each other that it causes a fight. Plenty of people disagree on stuff everyday without fighting, that's what most "deep" conversations are composed of. Politics are a lot like religious topics in the regard that you don't have to belong to a certain viewpoint in order to get along with someone who does belong to that viewpoint. As always, communication is the key.

I've been with my girlfriend 2+ years now, and we're much the same kind of people you and your new man seem to be. I'm the white country boy from a small rural town, and she is by no means a complete "city girl" but she grew up in a slightly bigger town, went to a big high school, and is pretty much your typical suburban type girl. We have several "big" differences in core values, both politically and socially. But we make it work with communication. We argue more about who's doing the dishes next than our political stances lol. Before the last election, she asked me who I was voting for. I told her, she told me who she was voting for, and we talked for probably a half an hour pointing out the positive stuff to each other about both candidates. She's also always been high on Sarah Palin, and I can't stand her, despite her being a republican. When we talk about her, I try to show her I've done some research and know what I'm talking about as to why I have problems with her. The point is, it can work, if you want it to.

Putting myself in your shoes, I don't think I would mind so much if the guy had different political views than me in general, but I think his stance on homosexuality would bother me. Would your brother be comfortable knowing you were dating (and potentially marrying) someone who is against his life style?

There's a good chance he is uncomfortable being around homosexuality due to growing up in a small, conservative town. Speaking from experience there's a chance he will understand it more, the more he is around it. I used to have similar views to him, but when I started my career I was more exposed to gay individuals as co-workers, and my views have changed quite a bit.

se-alum;655600 wrote:There's a good chance he is uncomfortable being around homosexuality due to growing up in a small, conservative town. Speaking from experience there's a chance he will understand it more, the more he is around it. I used to have similar views to him, but when I started my career I was more exposed to gay individuals as co-workers, and my views have changed quite a bit.

This is also true. You have to understand that growing up in a town where homosexuality is rare or even non-existent, there's no way to personalize it and learn to accept it, it's just a detached idea. You usually don't get the chance to be around gay men or lesbian women to see them as people and grow to care about them; you're just as far removed as many American's are who are uneducated about the middle east. The truth is (as se-alum said) the more he is around your brother, the more he will see he is a real, caring, important PERSON in your life and not just this stereotypical ideal that has been fed to him pretty much all of his life. I learned so much about other people when I went away to college, and I was a little awkward around gay guys at first, because honestly I had never really been around them before. But it wasn't long before I found out that many of my gay friends were some of the nicest, most caring people I have in my life. Most country people like to pride themselves in having a lot of "common sense" and if he has any at all, it'll be pretty obvious to him that what he heard all his life growing up does not fit with what kind of person your brother is. You don't have agree with someone's lifestyle to be friends with them. I know a girl who is in porn now lol. Her brother whole-heartedly hates her lifestyle, and yet still accepts her and loves her. It sounds unrelated, but it's basically the same principal. Your new man doesn't have to be changed into being a gay-rights activist to like your brother and respect him as a person.