Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in Oregon, Ohio, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Toledo and one of my sisters, who lives in Perrysburg, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Point Place . I have two brothers. One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Lucasville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994.. The other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Maumee and is still a part time "working girl" at the Turnpike Truck Stops. All things considered, my main problem is this. I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family and I certainly want to be totally honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Michigan fan?

Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

bigkahuna wrote:

dwccrew wrote: http://www.mstillsucks.com/

These are funny, but I must point out that football didnt start in 2001. While Carr did have a 1-6 record against Tressel, that wasn't his overall record in the series. The rivalry was around before Tressel and will be around LONG after he is gone.

I guess take it up with the creator of the site.

I made this image a few years ago. I think it's pretty self-explanatory.

A background I made last year (and my current background until after the game this Saturday when I get to add number six!).

krambman wrote:

A background I made last year (and my current background until after the game this Saturday when I get to add number six!).

That's my background too! Please share it with everyone if you make another one!

Quint wrote:

Quint wrote:

That might be the worst blocking I have seen on any play ever

That better have been a PA screen lol.

devil1197 wrote: That better have been a PA screen lol.

This is what I always assumed, but it makes for a hilarious picture.

Four guys spend weeks planning the perfect football outing for an away game between the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Michigan Wolverines.
Two days before the group is to leave Frank's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Frank's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?

On game day, two days later, the three get to the stadium site only to find Frank already sitting in his seat with a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other.

"Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since yesterday. The other evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said 'guess who'?"

I pulled her hands off and she was wearing a brand new see-through nightie. She took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The room had two dozen candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs and ropes! She told me to tie her up and cuff her to the bed, and so I did.

And then she said "Now, do whatever you want."

So here I am!!

^^^WIN

That's hillarious

Q. How do you keep your family safe from a Wolverine? A. Move to Pasadena

A Michigan family of football supporters head out one Saturday to do their Christmas shopping. While in the sports shop the son picks up an Ohio State jersey and says to his older sister, "I've decided to become a Buckeye fan and I would like this for Christmas".

His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to mother"; and off goes the little lad with the Ohio State jersey in hand and finds his mother.

"Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be a Buckeye fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "Go talk to your father!"

Off he goes with the Ohio State Jersey in hand and finds his father.

"Dad?"

"Yes son?"

"I've decided I'm going to be an Ohio State fan and I would like this jersey for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!"

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes, Dad, I have."

"Good son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been an Buckeye fan for an hour and I already hate you Michigan bastards."

krambman wrote:

A background I made last year (and my current background until after the game this Saturday when I get to add number six!).

Any chance you updated that to six straight? I love that background but it's a little outdated now!

Thanks

GOONx19 wrote:

The second one is funny but it could have been shopped better.