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Having Children

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F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Mar 19, 2016 1:03 AM
We have a daughter. Wife got pregnant on our wedding night. We weren't really prepared for it, but we managed. I'm ready for another one (a son I hope) but my wife isn't.
Mar 18, 2016 9:03pm
Mulva's avatar

Mulva

Senior Member

13,650 posts
Mar 19, 2016 1:35 AM
Have 0, want 0. Don't see the appeal.
Mar 18, 2016 9:35pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Mar 19, 2016 2:56 AM
I have 3 grown daughters. After planning for kids one year after being married we lost our first to miscarriage. We both was devastated, scared and confused (why us, why does this happe) after the doctors gave us the OK to start having kids again. We educated ourselves on all the potential problems and excepted the fact that we love each other and what the future bring is going to be ok. The idea of planning was off the table, praying, lots of sex, nature take its course and love be our guide. Our girls are little over two years apart ...good spacing. You can't plan nor be ready for passion, love , emotions and kids.....
What you have to prepare for is a change in you, growth as a adult, no more self centered attitude, it not about you anymore and from that "I do" to "It a girl or boy" and "what are we going to do now" ..... You are secondary and every one you've committed to is before you. Without faith you have one less player on your side...draft the big guy soon
Mar 18, 2016 10:56pm
W

Wolves of Babylon

Senior Member

408 posts
Mar 20, 2016 10:07 PM
We have two. My wife had severe endometriosis and had one ovary removed right when we started dating. She was told then kids were probably not going to happen. Awhile later we tried fertility for a good year. No luck. Got off that and a year later had our first. We had a boy first. We said we wanted at least two and if the second one was a girl we would stop. If we had another boy, we would try one more time. We had a girl and based on my wife's condition we had to stop there and she can't have anymore kids.

I always wanted kids and at a relatively young age. I will be 47 when our youngest graduates high school.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N920A using Tapatalk
Mar 20, 2016 6:07pm
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:25 AM
I have a daughter who is 20 and was 5 years premature and a 12 year old son who is 10 inches taller than his sister lol.

One planned because it was the right time we felt (8-9 year gap in age works well) one unplanned that made me grow up quickly and taking school and works seriously.
Mar 20, 2016 8:25pm
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:43 AM
Commander of Awesome;1787700 wrote:Honest question here, would you marry someone that weren't already comfortable with in the first place?
I won't delve deeply into it but "comfortable to be around/with" and "comfortable to be around with forever" take different amounts of time together/experiences IMO. My wife and I fell under the first part when she became pregnant....it's not the thing to do now but we've been happily married for over 21 years now.
Mar 20, 2016 8:43pm
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Mar 21, 2016 11:47 AM
I have four. The more you have the bigger chance that one of them will be a total f**k up. Keep those odds in mind. ;-)
Mar 21, 2016 7:47am
S

Sonofanump

Mar 21, 2016 12:00 PM
Ironman92;1788173 wrote:I have a daughter who is 20 and was 5 years premature
What does that mean?
Mar 21, 2016 8:00am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:19 PM
power i;1788308 wrote:I have four. The more you have the bigger chance that one of them will be a total f**k up. Keep those odds in mind. ;-)
Yeah but you could also have an only child who is a fuck up. I think that would be worse.
Mar 21, 2016 8:19am
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:23 PM
Sonofanump;1788309 wrote:What does that mean?
I don't like to explain my jokes.

She was born about 5 years early.
Mar 21, 2016 8:23am
fish82's avatar

fish82

Senior Member

4,111 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:23 PM
We have two...any more than that, and there's always one or more running loose somewhere.
Mar 21, 2016 8:23am
HitsRus's avatar

HitsRus

Senior Member

9,206 posts
Mar 21, 2016 12:35 PM
3 is probably the most difficult #. When you have 2, you have one parent for each child....the third is juggled in between. You can't be running or pushed anymore if you have four, and at that point you start having help from the older ones. Any more than that is superfluous...enjoy your family!....and people who have large families usually do.
Mar 21, 2016 8:35am
rrfan's avatar

rrfan

Senior Member

1,922 posts
Mar 21, 2016 3:00 PM
Have 3 and agree with HitsRus. The first couple years are very hard with three but than they start playing together...in my case two of the same only two years apart. But at first a big challenge for sure.
Mar 21, 2016 11:00am
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Mar 21, 2016 3:19 PM
We have talked about if we want a 3rd. I don't but my wife isn't sure. (I'm thinking about having surgery to end that discussion) we can barely handle a 2 1/2 year old and a 6 month old. If we add a third we will be outnumbered.
Mar 21, 2016 11:19am
RedRider1's avatar

RedRider1

Senior Member

3,850 posts
Mar 21, 2016 3:28 PM
Dad of 3.

Six yrs from time we were married to first kid. 2nd was 2 years later, and 3rd was 4 years after that.

Youngest is on the verge of potty training. Can't come soon enough. Tired of paying for diapers.

As said above, if you wait until the time is "perfect," you'll never do it.

It's incredible how 3 kids (boy-girl-boy) are raised essentially the same yet have completely different personalities.
Mar 21, 2016 11:28am
W

wkfan

Senior Member

1,641 posts
Mar 21, 2016 3:35 PM
FatHobbit;1788330 wrote:If we add a third we will be outnumbered.
Switch from man-to-man to zone defense.
Mar 21, 2016 11:35am
W

Wally

Senior Member

481 posts
Mar 21, 2016 4:10 PM
We have 2. Wife wanted to work a couple years first so we used birth control and like the first time without...she got pregnant. Didn't want another for a few years so she went back on birth control until it was time. Seemed like she was off one day and boom-gets pregnant again....Both were boys. I thank God every day they were both boys. Oldest son has 3 kids-middle one is a girl. Grandma is loving that so she got her girl.
Mar 21, 2016 12:10pm
vdubb96's avatar

vdubb96

Urbans Meyers Stache

2,210 posts
Mar 21, 2016 4:38 PM
We have 2. 10/8 boy/girl. We both decided when we got married that any kids we had we wanted to have before we turned 30. We happened to have 2 by that time so thats where it stopped. Worked out perfectly for us. They will both be graduating high school when we are in our early/mid 40's.
Mar 21, 2016 12:38pm
ptown_trojans_1's avatar

ptown_trojans_1

Moderator

7,632 posts
Mar 21, 2016 5:33 PM
Both wife and I are in our early 30s and have 0 kids. We have talked about it, but if we do decide we won't unless we move back to Ohio. Childcare in the DC area is just insanely expensive and we have no family locally. We go back and forth on kids, but we just are not kids people when it comes down to it.
Mar 21, 2016 1:33pm
sherm03's avatar

sherm03

I go balls deep.

7,349 posts
Mar 21, 2016 6:07 PM
Just had our first. He's almost 3 weeks now. All we knew when we got married was that we wanted kids at some point, but also wanted to enjoy time just being married first.

We decided to figure out the type of stuff that would be really hard to do if we had a kid, namely travel a lot, and do it. So we went to Ireland, on a Caribbean cruise, and had trips to Mexico and Punta Cana. After the cruise, (two summers ago), we decided that we weren't going to actually "try" to have a kid. But we weren't going to do anything to prevent it and if we had one, great...if not, then we weren't feeling pressured. My wife was going through some medical stuff and at that point we really wanted to focus on getting her healthy before we had a kid. She went in for a procedure and they did a pregnancy test before they gave her the medicine to put her under and that's when we found out that she was pregnant.

I agree with whoever said that you're never actually ready for it. Just make sure that if you know you definitely don't want kids, you do whatever you can to prevent it. But if you're open to them, I'd say don't put too much pressure on yourself to have them by a certain time or put a crazy time table on things. Let things unfold on their own.
Mar 21, 2016 2:07pm
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Mar 22, 2016 7:18 AM
To each their own, but at 33 I have dodged that bullet and hope to continue to dodge it. I enjoy my independence too much and my ability to travel whenever I feel like it. I can admit I am a selfish person and for that reason choose not to have children. Almost all my friends my age that have children are miserable. I always hear the "I love my kids" line from these people but they are miserable having to be responsible 24/7. It's like they didn't think it through before having children. They're not a goldfish, they need constant attention. It's like some of these people didn't realize that.
Mar 22, 2016 3:18am
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Mar 22, 2016 9:56 AM
dwccrew;1788400 wrote:To each their own, but at 33 I have dodged that bullet and hope to continue to dodge it. I enjoy my independence too much and my ability to travel whenever I feel like it. I can admit I am a selfish person and for that reason choose not to have children. Almost all my friends my age that have children are miserable. I always hear the "I love my kids" line from these people but they are miserable having to be responsible 24/7. It's like they didn't think it through before having children. They're not a goldfish, they need constant attention. It's like some of these people didn't realize that.

eh I doubt it dude. People with kids just like to complain. Sure, everyone talks about the times before kids where they went on vacations or did what they want. And of course that was nice and you miss it... But most people, if they're honest with themselves, wouldn't trade their kids in for the world. Traveling and having fun is nice, but when you're holding your kid and you know they're your whole world and you know, to them, you are their everything and they're completely dependent upon you... its just a feeling that a nice vacation could never come close to.
Mar 22, 2016 5:56am
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

9,716 posts
Mar 22, 2016 10:01 AM
dwccrew;1788400 wrote:To each their own, but at 33 I have dodged that bullet and hope to continue to dodge it. I enjoy my independence too much and my ability to travel whenever I feel like it. I can admit I am a selfish person and for that reason choose not to have children. Almost all my friends my age that have children are miserable. I always hear the "I love my kids" line from these people but they are miserable having to be responsible 24/7. It's like they didn't think it through before having children. They're not a goldfish, they need constant attention. It's like some of these people didn't realize that.
first thoughts : you have no friends, you can't find a girl friend, nobody want to be your friends or relationship with you, bullshit on the travel .. You're unhappy because your friends have something you don't .... Love. First thoughts only..hope this is not the case...
Mar 22, 2016 6:01am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Mar 22, 2016 1:00 PM
dwccrew;1788400 wrote:To each their own, but at 33 I have dodged that bullet and hope to continue to dodge it. I enjoy my independence too much and my ability to travel whenever I feel like it. I can admit I am a selfish person and for that reason choose not to have children. Almost all my friends my age that have children are miserable. I always hear the "I love my kids" line from these people but they are miserable having to be responsible 24/7. It's like they didn't think it through before having children. They're not a goldfish, they need constant attention. It's like some of these people didn't realize that.
I highly doubt that almost all of your friends are miserable. Is raising kids hard? Yes, sometimes. I am sure it can be frustrating to not be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. But every single person I know with kids will tell you it's worth it. That said, I know several people who do not ever want kids, and that's fine, too.
Mar 22, 2016 9:00am
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Mar 22, 2016 1:14 PM
Fab4Runner;1788417 wrote:I highly doubt that almost all of your friends are miserable. Is raising kids hard? Yes, sometimes. I am sure it can be frustrating to not be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want. But every single person I know with kids will tell you it's worth it. That said, I know several people who do not ever want kids, and that's fine, too.
Exactly...either dwccrew is lying to make himself feel better about not having kids, or he has some truly pathetic friends...having kids is awesome, and I can't imagine my life without them.
Mar 22, 2016 9:14am