OSH;1743218 wrote: For my groomsman, we bought suits. It's expensive enough to rent tuxedos. I wanted my guys to get their money's worth. A nice suit is always a positive to have in the closet.

This is an awesome idea

Commander of Awesome;1743214 wrote:How in the hell have you gotten away with not having to look at EVERY SINGLE photo with your wife?

I don't know. Maybe because they are still on the usb stick. I think she printed a few and I backed them up to be safe. That's it.

Scarlet_Buckeye;1743216 wrote:1) That only adds up to $26,700. Where are you getting the rest of the $13,300 from?! Guest list? Planners? Party favors? ... #YoureDoingItWrong

2) WTF are you serving @ $16,000 for 135 guests?!?! $16,000 / 135 guests = almost $120 per guest. WTF do you need $120 tab per guest for?! You can easily have a nice meal (AND OPEN BAR DRINKS) per guest for $50 per person!. Shit... at $50 per person... I can get your your own handle of Captain Morgan Rum and a Prime Rib dinner. Jesus.

That is the price including open bar for 135 guests. Factor in larger guest lists and the price just grows. You can always opt out of open bar and that'll drop the price by a couple thousand. But who wants to go to a wedding without open bar?

Some places allow you to bring your own bottles, or they'll let you take home unopened bottles. I'm just going off average prices. The average price for a wedding in the U.S. Is $30k.

I also didnt factor actor in transportation, and cost of the wedding dress. Trust me, it adds up quickly. And to answer your question, we gave our guest chicken.

If you still don't believe me, I can email you our food proposal from our wedding haha

I don't know how much we spent on ours but my wife and her mother are very picky so it probably wasn't cheap for them. Besides the expenses, it's very stressful and a lot of work and planning for a few-hour event that will probably go by too fast and you won't get to enjoy nearly as much as you'd like to.

We got married when we lived in Nome, AK. It was pretty low key with about 75 guests, total cost was between 4 and 5K. Best part was the reception, which was a potluck (pretty standard in rural areas up there) on the Bering Sea coast. Many of the people we knew were also fishermen, so we ended up having a lot of king crab, salmon and halibut brought by guests in lieu of gifts.

I'm coming up on my 5 year anniversary next week.

We paid for our wedding ourselves and I'm glad we did. We didn't have to fight over the invite list with my parents or her dad and nobody else but us had any say in anything. We kept it fairly small (125 people). Got married at our Parish Church up the street from our house. Including our honeymoon, we spent $12,000. Most of that was for the reception. We used a venue across the river in Kentucky called The Madison. They were a full service set-up. Each room cost a certain amount (ours was $8,000) and you had to hit that amount. If you went over, you paid the difference. We had dinner, open bar, centerpieces, decorations (lights, tablecloths, etc.), and even had enough left on the $8,000 to be able to do a late night Cincinnati Chili Coney Station for everyone which was a huge hit. The best part about the venue was that they had preferred vendors. So if you went with a vendor from their list, you got a discount on the service. So we were able to get our photographer, DJ, and limo at a discounted price. They also would do free tastings for anyone who booked their reception there so you could come to the venue and eat and drink for free one night a month to sample the foods available and talk to the different vendors. We did that every month leading up to our wedding, even after everything was locked down.

My parents did pay for the rehearsal dinner. We decided to do something really casual and went to my Aunt's place out in the sticks outside of Cincinnati. She has a ton of property, so we just got a few kegs and did a big cookout for the dinner at her pool. It was nice and relaxing and everyone seemed to enjoy it.

Just to add my two cents...let me make this clear. The wedding ceremony is all about the Bride... but the reception is for the GUESTS. If you are a no class low life and/or your invitees to your reception are likely to show up in jeans/shorts and a T-shirt, just by a lot of alcohol and serve some cheap food. Have your buddy play music from his computer

However, if your bride is registered at a real department store (not Target) and your guests are likely to be in suits, sport coats, dresses etc., spend some money and show them some appreciation for the generous wedding gifts they bought you, and for dressing appropriately. You don't have to spend $40K plus to have a great wedding that you and people will remember, but you CAN'T GO CHEAP. People ALWAYS remember cheap ass weddings....don't be that guy/gal. You are only gonna do this once....make it memorable.


The worst wedding that I have ever went to, had no alcohol available (not open bar or for purchase)...except for the wedding party who managed to get sloshed driving around town taking pictures and kept their guests waiting for almost an hour. Meanwhile back at the reception hall, cheap homemade centerpieces adorned folding tables and chairs. The refreshments available were some punch and homemade cookies and cheap hors d'ouerves that ran out in 15 minutes. Those that did stick around for dinner, probably wished they hadn't.
The moral of the story is, If you are going to be cheap, just elope and forget about it.

Other suggestions....
No kids is a great idea...when the guest list has limits, you can invite more of your adult friends....and nothing kills a party like 4 yearolds running around the dance floor.

get a good DJ...one that knows how to work the crowd..... check them out at other weddings first before hiring them.

Take responsibility and get the party started your self by getting out on the dance floor...others will follow with the help of a few drinks.
If your guy is such a shy wallflower that he won't get on the floor, you shouldn't be marrying him anyway cause he's a loser.

HitsRus;1743274 wrote:you CAN'T GO CHEAP. People ALWAYS remember cheap ass weddings....don't be that guy/gal. You are only gonna do this once....make it memorable.

I've had a great time at more than a few wedding receptions that were held in vfw halls. If you want to impress someone with how much money you can blow in one night, that's fine but I'd rather hang out with friends and family and have a good time.

HitsRus;1743274 wrote:No kids is a great idea...when the guest list has limits, you can invite more of your adult friends....and nothing kills a party like 4 yearolds running around the dance.

To me, getting married is about family. I wanted kids at our wedding.

We got married 11 years ago in Logan at the church I went to growing up. Since I grew up in that church, it didn't cost me anything. We paid for it all. Probably around $10k. A friend is a DJ, so he did it for nothing, and my uncle paid for a photographer as our gift. Brother in law is friends with the guys that run the local volunteer fire dept, so we had the reception there, which surprisingly turned out rather nice. That way we could party as long as we wanted and didn't have to worry about shutting the reception down at a certain time. So with the venues, DJ, and photographer not costing us anything, that saved us a shit ton of money.

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Disagree with almost everything HitRus said haha. A DJ who tries to work the crowd makes me want to hit him with a cheap folding chair. Open bar is an obvious must though.

I don't need a DJ who is going to talk all night and make it more about him/her that anything else, but I do want one that will keep things moving.

Fab4Runner;1743295 wrote:I don't need a DJ who is going to talk all night and make it more about him/her that anything else, but I do want one that will keep things moving.

No kidding! Our DJ asked us if we wanted him to be more vocal during the reception. We told him that'd he be in charge of emceeing, but we didn't want him acting like a club DJ. He was super professional about it.

Someone else mentioned that the groomsmen should buy their own suits. I second that notion. That's what we did, and it probably saved a few bucks. Plus, rental tuxedos look like ass anyway. If your fiance wants to go the inexpensive rental route, have him check out www.theblacktux.com. My brother in law used them, and I believe we paid about $120. Tuxes were shipped to your door the week before, and you just return them back. The quality is better than what you'd find in a normal tux rental shop.

Lastly, I had a friend use food trucks instead of a traditional caterer for their outdoor reception. I believe he rented three trucks, only paid a few thousand for it. I don't remember how many guests he had, but I do know he had more than mine. We had 135 guests.

raiderbuck;1743296 wrote:No kidding! Our DJ asked us if we wanted him to be more vocal during the reception. We told him that'd he be in charge of emceeing, but we didn't want him acting like a club DJ. He was super professional about it.

Someone else mentioned that the groomsmen should buy their own suits. I second that notion. That's what we did, and it probably saved a few bucks. Plus, rental tuxedos look like ass anyway. If your fiance wants to go the inexpensive rental route, have him check out www.theblacktux.com. My brother in law used them, and I believe we paid about $120. Tuxes were shipped to your door the week before, and you just return them back. The quality is better than what you'd find in a normal tux rental shop.

Lastly, I had a friend use food trucks instead of a traditional caterer for their outdoor reception. I believe he rented three trucks, only paid a few thousand for it. I don't remember how many guests he had, but I do know he had more than mine. We had 135 guests.

Our current plan is to have them buy suits. Part of their gift will probably be a shirt, tie and socks. I think suit/tux rental is too expensive for something you wear one night, and I agree that they usually look pretty terrible.

We are inviting about 180 people. It's obviously hard to tell how many guests we will end up having, but I think 3-4 food stands/trucks should work.

Fab4Runner;1743136 wrote:Oh, and we are having a no kids wedding. So even married couple and others with children will still be able to enjoy the party and have a good time.

I got married a little over 2 years ago and we did the no kids at the reception as well and it was awesome. I think total everything was around $18K for my wedding. Venue was are biggest expense at about $12K but it was completely worth it. Good Luck on the planning and congrats!

Fab4Runner;1743300 wrote:Our current plan is to have them buy suits. Part of their gift will probably be a shirt, tie and socks. I think suit/tux rental is too expensive for something you wear one night, and I agree that they usually look pretty terrible.

We are inviting about 180 people. It's obviously hard to tell how many guests we will end up having, but I think 3-4 food stands/trucks should work.

If I recall, the standard assumption is to lop 25% off as not coming when you're doing shit like this, so you're looking at more like 140ish.

That assumption was pretty much dead on for us too (invited around 130-140, had 105)

11 yrs ago, large Catholic wedding about 300 guests. My mother in law paid for everything except the rings obviously. We were only 21 and 24 when we got married. Not sure how much she paid but it was exactly what my wife wanted but if I would guess 15 to 20k. Good food, open bar, good times.



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Find it weird that it's so common to have a big wedding.

Fab4Runner;1743300 wrote:Our current plan is to have them buy suits. Part of their gift will probably be a shirt, tie and socks. I think suit/tux rental is too expensive for something you wear one night, and I agree that they usually look pretty terrible.

We are inviting about 180 people. It's obviously hard to tell how many guests we will end up having, but I think 3-4 food stands/trucks should work.

You'll probably end up with around 130-140 people. The number of trucks of course depends on what they're making. I really wish we went with this option. However, our wedding was in November, way too cold to have an outdoor reception.

During football season too! Surprised you had anyone show up. Wedding on OSU/Browns game day = instant "ahh sorry I can't make it" for me.

MontyBrunswick;1743374 wrote:Find it weird that it's so common to have a big wedding.

What do you consider big? The average number of guests in 2014 was around 135. I consider anything over 200 to be big.

Fab4Runner;1743379 wrote:What do you consider big? The average number of guests in 2014 was around 135. I consider anything over 200 to be big.

My mom got married in front of approximately 20-25 people and I thought that was perfectly acceptable.

Why do people really need 130 people at their wedding? Does it make them feel more popular? Is it an ego thing? Tradition?

I can imagine a good portion of those 130 don't give a fuck about your wedding and just came out of courtesy/obligation.

Having that many people just seems selfish, but I guess it's a societal pass to be selfish during a wedding..?

We had 100 people travel 12 hours to come to ours (majority younger friends which made it a good party) plus family, so I'd say they didn't come out of courtesy of obligation. Plenty of people didn't come, which was expected since it was so far away. I'd say 150 and below is normal for a mid to small wedding. Now weddings with 250/300+ you may have close to a point...


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MontyBrunswick;1743395 wrote:My mom got married in front of approximately 20-25 people and I thought that was perfectly acceptable.

Why do people really need 130 people at their wedding? Does it make them feel more popular? Is it an ego thing? Tradition?

I can imagine a good portion of those 130 don't give a fuck about your wedding and just came out of courtesy/obligation.

Having that many people just seems selfish, but I guess it's a societal pass to be selfish during a wedding..?

My fiancé and I have are inviting 93 family members, and that doesn't even include children. These aren't distant relatives like 2nd cousins and great aunts and uncles and all that BS. We both come from big, close families, and we want those people to be there. Add in childhood friends, undergrad friends, law school friends...it adds up. I guess I don't see how it's selfish at all to want to celebrate with the people you love and care about, and who are such an important part of your lives.

I don't need a DJ who is going to talk all night and make it more about him/her that anything else, but I do want one that will keep things moving.

You should be able to go to observe them prior to hiring them. Just ask when/where their gig is and check them out.

Fab4Runner;1743425 wrote:My fiancé and I have are inviting 93 family members, and that doesn't even include children. These aren't distant relatives like 2nd cousins and great aunts and uncles and all that BS. We both come from big, close families, and we want those people to be there. Add in childhood friends, undergrad friends, law school friends...it adds up. I guess I don't see how it's selfish at all to want to celebrate with the people you love and care about, and who are such an important part of your lives.

It's not selfish at all. Monty's post is just stupid.