Ok so I have two friends getting married in Mexico. One is in Oct of 2014 the other Jan 2015. Both friends are about equally as close and were guests at my wedding.

I really only wanna go to one of the weddings. My wife suggests the one in Oct because he came from out of town for our wedding (Minnesota to Columbus). Will I look like an ass for only attending one of the weddings. Should we go to both, neither, or just one.

Depends on what you want to do. Do you want to go to both? Do you want to go to one? Or do you not want to go to either?

How about talk to them and tell them the situation. Then pwn them for having fail destination weddings.

sportchampps;1597236 wrote:Ok so I have two friends getting married in Mexico. One is in Oct of 2014 the other Jan 2015. Both friends are about equally as close and were guests at my wedding.

I really only wanna go to one of the weddings. My wife suggests the one in Oct because he came from out of town for our wedding (Minnesota to Columbus). Will I look like an ass for only attending one of the weddings. Should we go to both, neither, or just one.

If you can really only go to one, I would say the October one as well. They obviously made the effort to go to yours, so you should reciprocate if you can.

As far as looking like an asshole or anyone being mad, I would not really care. If you have a destination wedding you have to be 100% okay with people not going. My friend was married on a cruise in December, and she and her fiancé were both perfectly fine with anyone who could not go. They did not expect everyone to be able to attend.

Where in Mexico would be my first question. If one is Cabo and one is Juarez, problem solves itself pretty easily.

Yeah, if different locations, I'd say go for both.

If not...choose the one you think would be the best overall experience.

I went to a destination wedding last year for the first time, had a blast. I would consider going that route if the time ever came....fuck dropping huge coin for a one day party.

Go to both and leave the wifey at home. The cost would be the same and no one is mad ( except the wifey )

im going to one in may for a good friend so i didnt complain..but while they are saving money..this whole thing is costing me roughly 1600 bucks not including a gift. on the bright side my gf is going and it is going to double as a vacation so its all good overall i guess

First off. Don't go to either one just because they came to your wedding. Go to one, both, or neither because you want/don't want to.

Using the reason of because "they came to ours" is dumb.

I would base it on can we afford the trip and gift and what not? And do we actually WANT to go to their wedding.

Gblock;1597353 wrote:im going to one in may for a good friend so i didnt complain..but while they are saving money..this whole thing is costing me roughly 1600 bucks not including a gift. on the bright side my gf is going and it is going to double as a vacation so its all good overall i guess

You don't have to give a gift at a destination wedding.

Fab4Runner;1597362 wrote:You don't have to give a gift at a destination wedding.

do tell...sweet

Automatik;1597339 wrote:Yeah, if different locations, I'd say go for both.

that wasn't my point...I meant if one is in a great place (Cabo) and one is at a dump (Juarez, Tiajuana, Nogalez)...go to the one that is nice. I've been all over Mexico and places like Acapulco and Monterrey which were really nice at one time are cesspools now. Cabo & Cancun / Cozumel are doing OK but the whole fkn country is heading towards third world anarchy in the next 10 yrs.

Gblock;1597364 wrote:do tell...sweet

I guess I should say in my experience you do not. The couple made it known that our presence at their wedding was their gift. Most etiquette lists I have read have also said it is not necessary, but if you feel like you should buy them a present, then it's up to you. They also say that most couples are aware that the trip is a huge investment, and that if they do get a gift, it won't be extravagant. Obviously every couple is different, but this is standard operating procedure from everything I have read.

If you had to use reasoning I would go with the one that traveled far to your wedding.

But in reality, figure out which one works out best for you and your wife, time, location, $$, etc, and then justify it by however means you decide. Go to the one you would most rather go to and works out the best for you.

Couples who do destination weddings should realize and be very understanding of those who couldnt make it. My brother and sis and law briefly entertained having one at Va Beach where they were living, but quickly changed their minds because they wanted all their family and friends to be able to attend without any issues.

i texted my gf and asked and she said that the couple had requested no gifts so yes you are correct!

WTF someone (friend) expect you to travel to Mexico for their wedding. Self center assholes, egotistical snob in five years you’ll have nothing in common with this individual or his wife and their lives and yours will move forward without each other.
I don't expect anyone to travel, take the time and cost to come to some event that I'm involved or my kids. We send out the invitation as a means of announcement and respect to those who we know, not demanding or expecting participation from anyone who lives hundreds of mile away.
What they do in their lives to go to something should not influence your participation in doing something.
You have a life and if this wedding is going to hinder your family, financial situation, job or your vacation it’s not worth it .. they will get over it or not but at the end of the day, in years down the road it will not matter. He’s banger her in the state and he will bang her in Mexico with or without you there.

Buy a gift off their wedding register and move on....

I don't see anywhere where the OP stated the marrying couples "expect" him to come.

They'll end up getting divorced in 5-10 years so what difference does it make?

The worst thing about destination wedding is everything is about the wedding. If I'm traveling and coming off 3 or 4 grand, I am going to want to do what I want and when I want.

I would not go to one unless it was a direct family member.

Devils Advocate;1597513 wrote:The worst thing about destination wedding is everything is about the wedding. If I'm traveling and coming off 3 or 4 grand, I am going to want to do what I want and when I want.

I would not go to one unless it was a direct family member.

That was one of the nice things about the wedding cruise. The wedding was the day we boarded, and then we were able to do exactly what we wanted the rest of the time. Sometimes a large group chose to do the same excursion, but mostly it was each person/couple doing exactly what they wanted.

Were probably just gonna do the one. He came into Columbus for our wedding and also flew in for the bachelor party and my fantasy football draft last year. It just sucks both are so close together. We did a 14 day honeymoon in Mexico last September and we will do a week for the wedding in Oct. I just don't think I could a full month of Mexico in barly over a year. I think we will fly in Saturday and the wedding is Tuesday.

Fab4Runner;1597332 wrote:If you have a destination wedding you have to be 100% okay with people not going.

/thread

Devils Advocate;1597513 wrote:The worst thing about destination wedding is everything is about the wedding. If I'm traveling and coming off 3 or 4 grand, I am going to want to do what I want and when I want.

I would not go to one unless it was a direct family member.

+1. I am not going unless they are loaded and paying for my trip.

Belly35;1597397 wrote:WTF someone (friend) expect you to travel to Mexico for their wedding. Self center assholes, egotistical snob in five years you’ll have nothing in common with this individual or his wife and their lives and yours will move forward without each other.

Completely irrelevant, as usual. Way to go.

friendfromlowry;1597577 wrote:Completely irrelevant, as usual. Way to go.

you ass that the hook that keeps you reading my post.. Shooten fish in a barrel...
thats why I have the largest reader participation