There is just one solution here.


You need to screw the bride-to-be

ZWICK 4 PREZ;767287 wrote:I don't expect it either. I've already spent $900 on my own knowing I'd have to. The change of plans hotel for $500 and $300 insurance dress is what doesnt sit well with me.

Yeah, the $900 is a given but these last second surprises are BS, imo.

Give her a cosby sweater, then upper deck her cake.

Buy her one of those money holders for a gift, and place a copy of the receipts with a small note saying "this is where your gift of money woulda have been if we hadnt had to spend close to a grand on a hotel and a new flight"

Goal at weddings I usually have is to eat and drink enough to cover the expenses incurred for going or being in the wedding.

You better be drinking and eating the expensive stuff.



So...you DID get engaged....we all thought it was an april fools joke.

thavoice;767298 wrote:Buy her one of those money holders for a gift, and place a copy of the receipts with a small note saying "this is where your gift of money woulda have been if we hadnt had to spend close to a grand on a hotel and a new flight"

don't give me those kind of ideas.

Manhattan Buckeye;767273 wrote:Well that's your opinion but it ain't reality, my wife has been in 4 weddings and we've spent $1,500-$2,000 on each if you add in parties, showers, etc. I've NEVER heard of anyone offering to pay for anyone else except one exception (and that guy was a billionaire, literally). If you can't afford to go to the wedding, you can simply decline the invitation.

That isn't always easy. Your best friend asks you to be in the wedding, you know damn well most will not say no. I know it's my opinion, but I just think you should be able to pay at least hotel and flight for those in the wedding. Doesn't mean you have to do it, or even offer initially. But if a buddy of mine couldn't afford to fly in for my wedding, I'd get him taken care of.

WebFire;767302 wrote:That isn't always easy. Your best friend asks you to be in the wedding, you know damn well most will not say no. I know it's my opinion, but I just think you should be able to pay at least hotel and flight for those in the wedding. Doesn't mean you have to do it, or even offer initially. But if a buddy of mine couldn't afford to fly in for my wedding, I'd get him taken care of.

Again, doesn't happen. All four of my groomsmen (aside from my Dad) flew in to my wedding, airflights/hotel/tuxedo rentals would have cost a minimum of $3,500 - there are enough expenses as it without having to pick up the accomodation tab for guests. Look at it this way, how many out of town weddings is someone asked to be in? A handful at the most? It all works out in the end when they pay to be in yours. And if someone gets married very young or at an inopportune time/location, many of their potential guests will have to decline the invitation.

Whether you go with her or let her go alone, someone will catch her on her knees in the kitchen with one busboy in front of her and one behind.

I got married back in October of 09 up near Detroit because that's where my wife grew up. I myself am from Midwest Ohio, and probably 99% of MY groomsmen/my side of the guests were coming from there, and the other 1% was coming from Columbus. It was about a 2.5 hour trip for my hometown people and 3+ for the Columbus people. Since we were getting married literally 10 minutes way from my wife's hometown, she only had 2 guests coming from out of town (aunt/uncle from L.A.) Now, out of all of the people in the wedding party/immediate family (25-30 people), ONLY 4 stayed in a hotel in the days leading up to the wedding. These 4 people CHOSE to stay there. My apartment was a short 20 minute drive from the church, so my family stayed there. My groomsmen from back home and myself stayed at my F-I-L's house, while the bridesmaids stayed with the bride at her mom's house.

The night of the wedding, pretty much everyone from out of state (and even some that lived in town) stayed at the same hotel because we booked a block of rooms and got a discount for everyone. The only thing people had to pay for was their own clothing. Literally everything else was taken care of by someone in the wedding family. One girl did have to buy an insurance dress like you said, but it's because she broke up with her boyfriend about 3-4 months before the wedding and fatted out of the original (went from like a 7 to a 16 or something)

The point I'm trying to make is, if you are having people fork out their hard earned money to pay for travel, somewhere between $100-$300/400 for a tux/dress, you should go out of your way to make sure that those who need/want to be taken care of are taken care of. I couldn't imagine telling my best man that he HAD to go get a hotel room for an extra night after everything. Usually the best man/MOH are the best friends of the couple and are the best taken care of. You shaft the last groomsman/bridesmaid.

I wonder if the bride to be has a sister that lives like an hour away or someone else that lives in the area sleeping in your spot, which is probably the case. Fuck that shit, if you can drive while someone else has to fly, keep your ass at home and drive in later.

^^^Sorry that was so long. I started ranting because I actually got pissed about your situation. Coming from experience, if some of more important people are coming from out of state, those are the ones you cater to the most.

I would absolutely say no to the extra dress, that's insane! If I asked someone from out of town to be in my wedding, I would at least make sure they had a place to stay, since they would already be shelling out the money for the trip.

bigkahuna;767364 wrote:^^^Sorry that was so long. I started ranting because I actually got pissed about your situation. Coming from experience, if some of more important people are coming from out of state, those are the ones you cater to the most.

Well, I would think the maid of honor would be one of the most important people at the wedding. To kick the person you have asked to be your head attendent to the curb with no place to stay this close to the wedding is pretty rude.

LJ;767376 wrote:Well, I would think the maid of honor would be one of the most important people at the wedding. To kick the person you have asked to be your head attendent to the curb with no place to stay this close to the wedding is pretty rude.

+1 All Groomsman/Brisemaids should be staying in same house/hotel rooms with the Groom/Bride the night before. I have never heard of a wedding that this was not the case.

OneBuckeye;767378 wrote:+1 All Groomsman/Brisemaids should be staying in same house/hotel rooms with the Groom/Bride the night before. I have never heard of a wedding that this was not the case.

Yep, for our wedding all the guys are staying at my house with me and all the girls are stayin in a hotel room (except my sister, what a party pooper)

In every out of town wedding I have been in part of my groomsman gift was a place to stay the night before the wedding.

When my bro got married in Bama he paid for a block of hotel rooms at the Holiday Inn for 3 days. He also left hotel buffet vouchers. Said it cost him well over 3k but he wouldnt have done it differently.

Steel Valley Football;767360 wrote:Whether you go with her or let her go alone, someone will catch her on her knees in the kitchen with one busboy in front of her and one behind.

Just b/c your wifes a whore and told you all girls do that, doesn't mean it's true.

You are spending $650 to fly and $250 to rent a car? Drive your own car, save money, and don't be a douche. I know gas is expensive, but is it $900?

What an arrogant brat (the bride, not Zwick ).

All of my daughter's wedding party (and several of college friends who attended) were from out of town - Florida, Tennessee, Arizona, California. Kentucky). We paid for their hotel rooms, gave them some cash to cover their meals on Thursday and Friday, and set up a buffet at our house on Sunday to feed them before we started shuttling them to the airport.

These were kids just out of college, and weren't exactly rolling in cash. Since they paid for their plane tickets in, the least I could do would be to cover their expenses while they were here.

Moral of the story: we don't refer to woman as bitches for no reason.

I don't think that it's outrageous to have people procure their own accommodations for the wedding. This has been standard in every wedding I've ever been to/in. What's unusual is to make an offer, and then pull it at the last minute--that's pretty tacky, even if there's no way around it.

Being in and/or attending a wedding is expensive, but it's par for the course, and everyone does it. If you can't afford it or don't want to spend the money, decline and send a gift. This is fine. If you agree to be in the wedding, realize you're on the hook for a lot of money.

It's normal for the bride/groom to arrange a discounted rate for a block of rooms at a hotel, but people should pay for their own. If the bride/groom are loaded, they can pay for it, but that seems to be going above and beyond what is necessary.

LJ;767376 wrote:Well, I would think the maid of honor would be one of the most important people at the wedding. To kick the person you have asked to be your head attendent to the curb with no place to stay this close to the wedding is pretty rude.

That was my point, the MOH SHOULD be up there on that list.

LJ;767382 wrote:Yep, for our wedding all the guys are staying at my house with me and all the girls are stayin in a hotel room (except my sister, what a party pooper)

In every out of town wedding I have been in part of my groomsman gift was a place to stay the night before the wedding.

That's basically how it was for my wedding. All the guys with me at my F-I-L's house, pizza and booze. All the girls were with my wife at her mom's. I guess it does pay to have divorced parents sometimes.

ZWICK 4 PREZ;767394 wrote:Just b/c your wifes a whore and told you all girls do that, doesn't mean it's true.

Your fiancee likes when I play the busboy role w/her.

By the way, until you learn to put your foot down about this situation, you deserve to be treated as such. As of now you are just crying to people about the bride on Ohio Chatter. You are really showing her tough guy. Sucker. LOL.

ernest_t_bass;767414 wrote:You are spending $650 to fly and $250 to rent a car? Drive your own car, save money, and don't be a douche. I know gas is expensive, but is it $900?

This was my first thought.

bigkahuna;767454 wrote:


That's basically how it was for my wedding. All the guys with me at my F-I-L's house, pizza and booze. All the girls were with my wife at her mom's. I guess it does pay to have divorced parents sometimes.

Ditto here, all the guys stayed at my place. Turned into a slightly more sober bachelor party.

ernest_t_bass;767414 wrote:You are spending $650 to fly and $250 to rent a car? Drive your own car, save money, and don't be a douche. I know gas is expensive, but is it $900?

The $500 you'd save isn't worth the 1500 miles put on the truck and time wasted.