So i just lost my girlfriend...

Serious Business Backup 116 replies 3,775 views
S
sjmvsfscs08
Posts: 2,963
Sep 9, 2010 10:50pm
justincredible;477940 wrote:I'm about to pull the plug on this shithole..

Well there you go lotz!
karen lotz's avatar
karen lotz
Posts: 22,284
Sep 9, 2010 10:52pm
yup, just waiting til right before Armageddon.
majorspark's avatar
majorspark
Posts: 5,122
Sep 9, 2010 10:57pm
I know it is tough, but it is better she comes to this realization now rather that 7-10yrs down the road and you and her are married and have a child or two.
UA5straightin2008's avatar
UA5straightin2008
Posts: 3,246
Sep 9, 2010 11:23pm
majorspark;477979 wrote:I know it is tough, but it is better she comes to this realization now rather that 7-10yrs down the road and you and her are married and have a child or two.

agreed, exactly what my parents said
Cleveland Buck's avatar
Cleveland Buck
Posts: 5,126
Sep 9, 2010 11:46pm
That you two had zero problems leads me to believe she checked out a long time ago. Women are nagging, whiny, money-hungry whores and they want to make sure you know it constantly.

Anyway, don't worry about it. You don't need a girlfriend. They just get in the way and cost too much. Do something you have always wanted to do. Something time consuming, like start a business or load up on classes to fast track your degree. There's always time for pussy, especially if you aren't tied down to it. When she comes back, bang her, but there is no need to get back together. Be her booty call while you fuck various women and work to better yourself.
stroups's avatar
stroups
Posts: 3,223
Sep 9, 2010 11:47pm
ernest_t_bass;477926 wrote: - Leave her alone. Seriously. Leave her alone. Don't call. Don't text. Don't email. Don't Facebook. Don't MySpace. Don't Xanga. Don't do the Twitter. When you are constantly contacting her, you are sending her the message that you need her. That is exactly what she wants.
... My ex finally came back to me (crawling) when she had heard that I was having parties at my house, living life. When I was contacting her, she wanted nothing to do with me... she didn't care. I was a nuisance. Well, when I was no longer there for her to hold me by a string, she started to worry. Stupid to go back to her, but I got a new golf bag and a set of irons out of it.

In my experience this is very true..... People always want what they can't have and if you are constantly contacting her she knows she can get you back at any time. I was trying to get back with this one girl for a long time and when I finally just stopped talking to her and starting seeing other girls she came back. Luckily when I got back with her the second time I quickly realized I didn't want to put myself through that again because I knew it was a matter of time before history repeated itself and broke it off myself. I mean, I tried to get back with this chick forever and when I finally did I realized she wasn't all that great and some of the girls that I used to get back with her were much better............ Its funny because if you would of asked me what i would of wanted more than anything in that year and a half that we were apart I would of secretly said to get back with this girl (of course I wouldn't of told anybody that).
Mr Miyagi's avatar
Mr Miyagi
Posts: 1,211
Sep 9, 2010 11:52pm
" he who cares the least has the most power "
UA5straightin2008's avatar
UA5straightin2008
Posts: 3,246
Sep 9, 2010 11:52pm
Cleveland Buck;478137 wrote:That you two had zero problems leads me to believe she checked out a long time ago. Women are nagging, whiny, money-hungry whores and they want to make sure you know it constantly.

Anyway, don't worry about it. You don't need a girlfriend. They just get in the way and cost too much. Do something you have always wanted to do. Something time consuming, like start a business or load up on classes to fast track your degree. There's always time for pussy, especially if you aren't tied down to it. When she comes back, bang her, but there is no need to get back together. Be her booty call while you fuck various women and work to better yourself.

well of course we nag and fight over little things but i mean no problems as in no one cheated, we were always honest, we never went days without speaking, never had big fallings outs, etc
majorspark's avatar
majorspark
Posts: 5,122
Sep 10, 2010 12:49am
UA5straightin2008;478070 wrote:agreed, exactly what my parents said

Your parents are your greatest resource. They have far more life experience than you do. Though many on this thread mean well and wish you the best, your parents know you the best and love you. You are an adult but put weight to their advice.

If you truly care/love this women let her go. Do not try to convince her she is wrong and should stay in the relationship. Let her come to you. It must be her choice. Otherwise if you did convince her, later on in life with the pressures of marriage, children, and life she may resent you for it and fold up shop and leave you in a far worse situation.

Go out have fun with your friends. If you truly care/love this women leave the door open for a short while. If you immediately go out and start banging chicks you will be closing the door behind you. She will never believe you gave a shit about her if you do that. Give her a reasonable amount of time. After that move on. If you hear as some say she is banging other dudes, slam the door, lock it, throw the key away, and never look back. She is not the women you thought she was.
F
friendfromlowry
Posts: 6,239
Sep 10, 2010 12:51am
Whatever you do, make sure you handle the situation with class. It's been said a half-dozen times already, but whenever you end up drinking, keep the phone away. The temptation to text/call will be there - don't let it happen.
This may seem like the end of things, but you'll bounce back. Maybe you two will get back together, who knows. But months and years down the road, when looking back on this, don't let it be one of those situations where she broke your heart, so you acted like an ass.

IMO, the biggest philosophy to follow when your girl is an immature cunt and unexpectedly dumps you: Never let 'em see youre hurt.
T
Tiernan
Posts: 13,021
Sep 10, 2010 7:57am
Wahtever you do don't tell her you've been soliciting advice from a Sports Blog site or she'll really run.
Hesston's avatar
Hesston
Posts: 516
Sep 10, 2010 8:11am
your probably lucky....not the right chick for you
Mooney44Cards's avatar
Mooney44Cards
Posts: 2,754
Sep 10, 2010 9:06am
Well, I've had the same happen to me and I feel I can offer some good advice:

-Like many have said, use this opportunity to find yourself and find what truly makes you happy. Remember, your happiness doesn't depend on another person. The mistake many make is that after a long relationship they define themselves as a couple. Its always "Me and katie" (i inserted a random chick name) instead of "me"

-Don't call her, text her, tell her you miss her, send her flowers, or call to reminisce about "that one time". She needs to know that you're fine on your own. YOU need to know you are fine on your own. Its like kicking a habit, you'll have a strong urge to do it at first and it'll slowly become easier to fight that habit.

-Don't go out looking for some chick to bang. You never know it at the time but you reek of desperation. Like someone said, reconnect with old friends. Actually, go out with another girl WITHOUT trying to bang her, you'll find that you can really enjoy another female's company other than your ex (unless she's a raging bitch)

-Don't do shit that reminds you of her. Its just depressing and it gets you nowhere.

-This bears repeating DO NOT CALL HER OR TEXT HER TELLING HER HOW MUCH YOU MISS HER. DELETE HER NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE. Write it down somewhere if you really need it for later, but god, only sad embarrassing stuff can come from that.

-Take a look at your relationship honestly and see what you may have done that would have driven her away. Not to try to change to win her back, but to learn for the next time out. Theres a pretty good chance that if you two get back together soon you'll slip right back into the bad habits that brought you both where you are right now. If you end up dating someone else, pay attention and try to limit mistakes like that from the beginning, and you'll build healthier relationship habits.

-Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings with a friend, just to get them out. DO NOT talk about your feelings with her. She is your ex now, she doesn't get to know how you feel inside (hey-ohhhh!!).

-If you start dating another girl DO NOT talk about your ex. AT ALL. If she asks, tell her what happened but not how you felt about her, or how you feel now. Remember, chicks really only want to talk about themselves so when they ask about you, they really don't care what the answer is.

-Don't hold out hope that its going to work out in the end. I had a chick pull the exact same shit on me a few years ago. I think she led me to believe that there was a chance just so she wouldn't absolutely crush me. Turns out she had met a guy a week before we broke up....6 months down the road they were engaged. Now they're married.

I have plenty more advice to give so don't hesitate to ask if need be. (if you couldn't tell from the last point, I've been there before!)
lhslep134's avatar
lhslep134
Posts: 9,774
Sep 10, 2010 10:57am
Mooney,

I wish I would have had all of that advice going through my breakup. It would have made things so much easier. The best point you make is enjoying female company not trying to get ass. This was the best thing that happened and made things so much easier just talking to girls instead of feeling the need to instantly get back in the game.
Fab4Runner's avatar
Fab4Runner
Posts: 6,196
Sep 10, 2010 12:52pm
ernest_t_bass;477926 wrote:
Oh... Fab4Runner... I threw up in my mouth.
Haha!
UA5straightin2008's avatar
UA5straightin2008
Posts: 3,246
Sep 10, 2010 3:40pm
Mooney44Cards;478318 wrote:Well, I've had the same happen to me and I feel I can offer some good advice:

-Like many have said, use this opportunity to find yourself and find what truly makes you happy. Remember, your happiness doesn't depend on another person. The mistake many make is that after a long relationship they define themselves as a couple. Its always "Me and katie" (i inserted a random chick name) instead of "me"

-Don't call her, text her, tell her you miss her, send her flowers, or call to reminisce about "that one time". She needs to know that you're fine on your own. YOU need to know you are fine on your own. Its like kicking a habit, you'll have a strong urge to do it at first and it'll slowly become easier to fight that habit.

-Don't go out looking for some chick to bang. You never know it at the time but you reek of desperation. Like someone said, reconnect with old friends. Actually, go out with another girl WITHOUT trying to bang her, you'll find that you can really enjoy another female's company other than your ex (unless she's a raging bitch)

-Don't do shit that reminds you of her. Its just depressing and it gets you nowhere.

-This bears repeating DO NOT CALL HER OR TEXT HER TELLING HER HOW MUCH YOU MISS HER. DELETE HER NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE. Write it down somewhere if you really need it for later, but god, only sad embarrassing stuff can come from that.

-Take a look at your relationship honestly and see what you may have done that would have driven her away. Not to try to change to win her back, but to learn for the next time out. Theres a pretty good chance that if you two get back together soon you'll slip right back into the bad habits that brought you both where you are right now. If you end up dating someone else, pay attention and try to limit mistakes like that from the beginning, and you'll build healthier relationship habits.

-Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings with a friend, just to get them out. DO NOT talk about your feelings with her. She is your ex now, she doesn't get to know how you feel inside (hey-ohhhh!!).

-If you start dating another girl DO NOT talk about your ex. AT ALL. If she asks, tell her what happened but not how you felt about her, or how you feel now. Remember, chicks really only want to talk about themselves so when they ask about you, they really don't care what the answer is.

-Don't hold out hope that its going to work out in the end. I had a chick pull the exact same shit on me a few years ago. I think she led me to believe that there was a chance just so she wouldn't absolutely crush me. Turns out she had met a guy a week before we broke up....6 months down the road they were engaged. Now they're married.

I have plenty more advice to give so don't hesitate to ask if need be. (if you couldn't tell from the last point, I've been there before!)

thanks mooney thats great advice...and thanks everyone this has been very helpful as i've never had to go through this before and surely would have called/texted/told her i missed her/nagged if i hadnt heard any of this, which would have surely driven her away. I'm gonna give it all a shot, be myself, hang with my dudes tonight and tomorrow at the game, and just have a good time on my own. Like my parents said and her parents said if its meant to be, its meant to be and things will work themselves out. thanks again all
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
Sep 10, 2010 4:06pm
Honestly Mooney's advice deserves some props.