Snot... a couple ideas:

1. Make your kid the star player like was mentioned earlier, no matter how good he is. Make sure you do and say things to the players and parents that your kid is the best kid out there and the other kids are pieces of crap. It won't take long before the parents want you gone and you'll never be asked to help again.
2. Get drunk before every practice and game then be as obnoxious as you can be. Parents won't want you around their kids and you will soon be gone.

You can thank me later.

Grow your hair into a greasy Euro Trash mullet. Wear a suit on the sidelines and disagree with the referee on every call that doesn't go your way. Unless you pick up a few red cards you will be coaching this team the rest of your life.

World Cup is a great game for kids that age basically kick a ball out and whoever scores advances to the next round. When it gets down to the final two each round the one who doesnt score is eliminated. Also work on passing with the inside of their foot and trapping the ball. Also teach the kids to kick with their shoelaces and not their toes.