dwccrew;375960 wrote:...I think a girl would take this as being way too abrasive and move a little fast. You don't want to talk about how you feel the "relationship" could be on the first date, there is no relationship yet.
Also, calling her out on why she isn't in to you is a kind of lame, pathetic action if you ask me. If you sense she's not that in to you, end the date. Both of you will be happier for it.
I don't see how it is that hard to land the second date. If you aren't dense and can sense she's in to you just let her know that you want to go out again sometime and you'll call her to make plans.
In reality, if you got the first date, that means she is into you, so as long as you didn't act awkward or weren't boring, you'll probably get the second date.
I agree with much that you say, however, being assertive and confident without coming across as abrasive is something you learn... it can take a lot of trial and error. It needs to be subtle, not cocky. There are ways to teasingly express that you want to go out with her again without coming right out and saying you want a full-blown relationship with her. Part also has to do with building a curiosity in you and planting the seed of desire in her to figure out the mystery of you.
As far as me saying "call her out on it" if she doesn't want a second date, I'm just saying that it never hurts to ask for her advice. Women are nurturing by nature, and most are civil when asked for their help and opinion. You open yourself up to being perceived as needy, which is a huge turn-off for women, but at this point on the first date you already know she is out of the future picture. In that type of situation, it doesn't hurt to show a vulnerable side to you and say something like, "OK, it's obvious that we're not a match and we both will be moving on after tonight. What do you think I need to improve on?". Just be ready to get advice that may surprise you and be sure to react to her comments in a civil manner.
Like you said, second dates are not hard to land if you reinforce on the first date the attraction she already has for you.
