A Republican, in a wheelchair, entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Republican looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?" The waitress nodded "yes," so the Republican requested that she give Jesus a cup of coffee, on him.

The next patron to come in was a Libertarian, with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus, over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Libertarian asked her to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Democrat on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there honey! How's about gettin' me a cold mug of Miller Light?" He too looked across the restaurant and asked, "Isn't that God's boy over there? The waitress nodded, so the Democrat directed her to give Jesus a cold beer. "On my bill," he said loudly.

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Republican, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Republican felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus passed by the Libertarian, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Libertarian felt his back straightening up and he raised his hands, praised the Lord, and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then, Jesus walked towards the Democrat, just smiling. The Democrat jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me ... I'm collecting disability."

A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a Democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA.


There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started toclimb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.


In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.


She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"


He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."


GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Pick Your Reason

When your friends can't explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list. They can then pick a reason.


10.I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.




9.I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.



8.I voted Democrat because Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

7.I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

6.I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.



5.I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.



4.I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.



3.I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see fit.



2.I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.



1.I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my butt that it is unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view


Keep Freedom, my God and my Guns... You keep the Change...



Get out and vote November 2nd, 2010!

^^^finally a cartoon that has merit and caused me a big LOL.

I guess it is from last year, but I saw it on Redstate today and thought it was pretty funny.

[video=youtube;Vje2FtM_itw][/video]

IggyPride00;497531 wrote:I guess it is from last year, but I saw it on Redstate today and thought it was pretty funny.

[video=youtube;Vje2FtM_itw][/video]

Ha! That is great!

Maybe what Obama really said was chains not change.

Need picture please.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4ZpfoqZGck&feature=related

This might be the funniest thing I have ever seen

Ty Webb;514926 wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4ZpfoqZGck&feature=related

This might be the funniest thing I have ever seen

What's so funny about it? Two idiots yelling at each other...no one even did anything funny. Well, except for the little jungle dance. I guess that was somewhat cute.

I made it to a minute Gibby, then I got bored with the same things being shouted lol

fish82;514974 wrote:I guess that was somewhat cute.

The only thing cute in that were the two chicks in the green Obama shirts.

fish82;514974 wrote:What's so funny about it? Two idiots yelling at each other...no one even did anything funny. Well, except for the little jungle dance. I guess that was somewhat cute.

Nice racist comment there fish

Ty Webb;515070 wrote:Nice racist comment there fish

Spike Lee directed the movie Jungle Fever. Guess he is racist against blacks as well.

Ty Webb;515070 wrote:Nice racist comment there fish

Thanks dude! You just won me ten bucks with that response.

Seriously though...you people need to amp up the "you're a racist" shtick a little more. It's obviously paying huge dividends for you thus far. :rolleyes: