The New Map

CenterBHSFan;384001 wrote:Somebody found a way to PLUG THE HOLE

PERFECT!

I saw this on my cousins car the other day and asked her where she got it. She told me the website and I just now looked it up and found it.
I don't put bumper stickers on my vehicles, but I think this is funny!

I saw this when looking at some right wing immigration articles and it was funny.

IggyPride00;395434 wrote:

Classic!

John was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens),
called 'pullets', and ten roosters to fertilize them. He kept records, and any
rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
>
>This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his
roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance,
which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an
efficiency report by just listening to
the bells.
>
>John's favorite rooster, Obama, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he
noticed
Obama's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the
other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets,
hearing


the roosters coming, could run for cover.
>
>To John's amazement, Obama had thought of a way to do it without work, he had
his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job
and walk on to the next one.
>
>John was so proud of Obama, he entered him in the Chicago County Fair and he
became an overnight sensation among the judges.
>
>The result was the judges not only awarded Obama the No Bell Piece Prize but
they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
>
>Clearly Obama was a politician. Who else but a politician could figure out how
to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at
sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying
attention.
>
>Vote carefully next year, you can't always hearthe bells!

Not quite political, but funny nonetheless

Jokes from an email:


- The economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

- I ordered a burger at McDonald's, and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

- Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

- If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they mean you or them .

- Parents in Beverly Hills and Malibu are firing their nannies and learning their children's names.

- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

- Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

- Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

- The Mafia is laying off judges.

- Congress says they are looking into the Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear !

- I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, and our bleak future, that I called the Suicide Lifeline and was connected to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.