Bullying = Suicide

Serious Business 76 replies 797 views
J
June18
Posts: 298
Jun 14, 2012 1:15am
There is an article in USA today that talks about 3 different kids who commited suicide after being bullied. This is just the latest article. It seems that there is a report of a different kid doing the same thing almost every week. It got me thinking...is this a new phenomonan (sp?) or it it just reported in the media now.

I graduated hs in 1999 so I don't consider myself old by any stretch. When I was in elementary, middle, and even high school people were bullied (including myself) and people bullied (including myself) however, I don't remember ever hearing about a kid anywhere killing themselves over it.

It would seem to me that bullying has been going on for a very long time. Is this new trend part of the "pussification of America", is it related to social media (which is what the article implied) or is it not a new thing and either it is reported more or I pay more attention to it as I get older.

It always makes me stop and think when a young person (or anyone for that matter) commits suicide. Teenage years are difficult when you are a teenager but then you grow up and realize that it wasn't as bad as it seems.

Not sure why but the whole article made me think

Feel free to discuss
OSH's avatar
OSH
Posts: 4,145
Jun 14, 2012 1:28am
People are different. People take things differently. Not everyone takes things easily.

I am sure this happened for many years...we just now are knowing more about it because of the way media has become.
I
isadore
Posts: 7,762
Jun 14, 2012 8:52am
Gosh I would think lack of sympathy and support from school personnel would definitely be a contributing factor.
The effect of social media that allow the attacks to continue even in the seeming sanctuary of the home.
All the news coverage given to individual cases as opposed to the trend. A troubled young person could be drawn to become the next Phoebe Prince or Trevor Clementi.
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar
Raw Dawgin' it
Posts: 11,466
Jun 14, 2012 8:57am
isadore;1199421 wrote:Gosh I would think lack of sympathy and support from school personnel would definitely be a contributing factor.
The effect of social media that allow the attacks to continue even in the seeming sanctuary of the home.
All the news coverage given to individual cases as opposed to the trend. A troubled young person could be drawn to become the next Phoebe Prince or Trevor Clementi.
Well this thread has gone to shit...

Someone show me one thread where they've had a normal discussion with isadore? honestly.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Jun 14, 2012 9:02am
Raw Dawgin' it;1199428 wrote:Well this thread has gone to shit...

Someone show me one thread where they've had a normal discussion with isadore? honestly.

Lol. Reps.
power i's avatar
power i
Posts: 1,296
Jun 14, 2012 9:07am
I graduated 30 years ago with 120 in my class. Over the course of my school life, there were 3 kids in our small town that killed themselves. Two were well known drug users (both had pretty crappy family lives which very possibly could have had something to do with it) and the other was being sexually abused. One of them was a very odd kid and I'm sure he was bullied, the other two were pretty popular kids. I think if it's that bad that kid sees no other way out than to kill himself, there is something else going on.
I
isadore
Posts: 7,762
Jun 14, 2012 9:10am
ccrunner609;1199425 wrote:??????? what? THat statement is utterly false. THe biggest problem is the parents of these kids. Parents need to be more involved in this process.
Now lets see a kid is being bully in a say your school and he\she comes to you with their problem and you tell them
Now kid don’t expect me or the school to handle your problems, just get in a fist fight and that will solve the problem.
redstreak one's avatar
redstreak one
Posts: 1,152
Jun 14, 2012 9:13am
School and the whole social makeup of schools has changed so much since I was in school, in the 80's. I started late in teaching, took a different path and started when I was 31. Schools are a direct reflection of society. Zero tolerance drives me nuts. A kid who lives up the street and his family is rough has been suspended from school multiple times. He knows how to fight, he and his older brothers practice boxing, not formally they just brawl. He has never started a fight, but he finishes everyone. Instead of investigating and suspending the guilty, administration broadly apply the zero tolerance on fighting. Kids sometimes come up to him challenging him and talking crap knowing he probably wont do anything because he wants to be in school.

These policies might be enforced in schools, but they come from outside pressures. Lawsuits and government interference pressures schools to police behavior and schools take the path of least resistance.

Schools arent equipped to deal with handling social problems on the scale we see them today.
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar
Raw Dawgin' it
Posts: 11,466
Jun 14, 2012 9:15am
ernest_t_bass;1199436 wrote:Lol. Reps.
That's a lie - you probably reported me
I
isadore
Posts: 7,762
Jun 14, 2012 9:23am
ccrunner609;1199453 wrote:I deal with bullying everyday and I am not nice about it. Sometimes I even publically call out the bully in front of all the kids. THe statement I was responding too was to the affect that schools ignore this stuff and that is utterly false.
given your expressed attitude toward have bullying and having the school handle the problem, I can see the bullied would have a very sympathetic audience in you
ccrunner609 wrote:went to school 20+ years ago and I would say that suicide wasnt really ever heard of. Bullying = a fist fight back in my day.

My generation was taught to not take **** and to fight back. Now today these kids are taught that someone else will handle their problems for them but personally that doesnt work.
I
isadore
Posts: 7,762
Jun 14, 2012 9:30am
sure
your advise to the bullied
tyler clementi put on the boxing gloves
phoebe kick those girls butts.
mcburg93's avatar
mcburg93
Posts: 3,167
Jun 14, 2012 11:04am
When I was growing up we were taught to defend ourselves.



[edited to remove personal attack, FFT]
ManO'War's avatar
ManO'War
Posts: 1,420
Jun 14, 2012 11:44am
I've never even heard anyone use the term "bullying" till about 5 years ago. Now it is used as an excuse for every problem a kid has.

Who hasn't been "bullied" or been the "bullier" growing up?? It's part of life.

Who are these kids going to run to once they are in the real world and face much worse?
pmoney25's avatar
pmoney25
Posts: 1,787
Jun 14, 2012 11:46am
Not all kids can defend themselves. Fighting back doesnt always work. I was never bullied or bullied anyone. Quite a few times I did stick up for kids who were being bullied though. Got in a few fights cause of it but it did help stop the bullying

My dad taught me that watching someone being bullied is the same as bullying someone. I will teack my two kids the same thing and to stick up for themselves when necessary.
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar
Raw Dawgin' it
Posts: 11,466
Jun 14, 2012 11:49am
love this

[video=youtube;0Gq0zj3qFAE][/video]
M
MontyBrunswick
Jun 14, 2012 11:52am
Spoiler: most kids are bullied. It's not a new phenomenon, but it's easy to point fingers at bullies when something happens.

The same principle applies to video games contributing to violent behavior. More often than not, kids who shoot up a school or fight other kids play video games.

HOWEVER, that point is useless since MOST KIDS PLAY VIDEO GAMES.
G
gut
Posts: 15,058
Jun 14, 2012 12:07pm
If there's a correlation (and I'm not sure there is, at least I've not seen the research), I'd agree that social media/internet has ramped-up the issue because it's more intense, maybe more mental, and more constant. Now a kid can be harassed 24/7 whereas before it would have been mostly between classes, lunch, and maybe to and from school.

I don't know if that should matter, but it doesn't seem unreasonable that kids still developing coping skills go past their breaking point because there's no escape and no respite.

I think as a parent if your kid is mixed-up in this sort of bs, on either side, the first thing your do is pull the plug on the internet for a week or two.
thePITman's avatar
thePITman
Posts: 3,867
Jun 14, 2012 3:01pm
If someone tells me I'm fat, and I go and kill myself, it is NOT that person's fault.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Jun 14, 2012 3:04pm
ccrunner609;1199425 wrote:??????? what? THat statement is utterly false. THe biggest problem is the parents of these kids. Parents need to be more involved in this process.
Amen. No amount of effort by a school system can or will ever solve such an issue.
C
Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
Jun 14, 2012 3:07pm
redstreak one;1199451 wrote:...

Schools arent equipped to deal with handling social problems on the scale we see them today.
Nor do I ever want to equip them to.

We rely too much on schools as it is. I would rather a school be entirely focused on being one tool of academia made available to families.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
Jun 14, 2012 3:11pm
It's terrible that a young person decided to kill themselves.

With that said, keeps need to toughen up and stop being pansies with their issues. The best way to stop bullying is to give the bullies an incentive not to bull you. If you were pig tails, don't wear pig tails. If you have braces, get invisalign. Glasses, get contacts. No money? Get a job. Pray every morning? Try atheism.

Bullying is just a way for kids to let other kids know they are different. If you want to be different, then sack up.
Raw Dawgin' it's avatar
Raw Dawgin' it
Posts: 11,466
Jun 14, 2012 3:13pm
sleeper;1199919 wrote:It's terrible that a young person decided to kill themselves.

With that said, keeps need to toughen up and stop being pansies with their issues. The best way to stop bullying is to give the bullies an incentive not to bull you. If you were pig tails, don't wear pig tails. If you have braces, get invisalign. Glasses, get contacts. No money? Get a job. Pray every morning? Try atheism.

Bullying is just a way for kids to let other kids know they are different. If you want to be different, then sack up.
lol so basically conform and don't be an individual? right. Sleeper is sheep.
sleeper's avatar
sleeper
Posts: 27,879
Jun 14, 2012 3:14pm
Raw Dawgin' it;1199923 wrote:lol so basically conform and don't be an individual? right. Sleeper is sheep.
If you can't handle the pressure of having people with different opinions, then accepting their opinions as your own is the only way to avoid being bullied.

People want everything but they don't want to do anything to solve it.
S
sportchampps
Posts: 7,361
Jun 14, 2012 3:25pm
I was a camp counselor in college the summer of 03 and 04. During these times I was in charge of the 13-14 year old cabin. I had for the whole a great group of kids. I also had two kids who were small for their age ( I was also small at this age I wrestled at 86 lbs in 8th grade) who would complain to me they were getting bullied. The problem was they were not getting bullied. They were just ultra sensitive to teasing. All kids are gonna tease each other it just depends on how you react. All of the other kids would just go back and forth in a good natured way but these two kids would just back away and isolate themselves. I took these two aside and tried to explain to them that everyone teases and you just have to tease back and laugh it off. They eventually told the owner of the camp and demanded to call home. Well after that they kind of just cooled it with their complaining and participated more. When their dad came to pick him up he pulled me aside and thanked me for making them tough it out and deal with it themselves. I think some kids are just to sensitive these days and unless there is physical intimidation or even physical violence kids need to learn to shrug it off or give it right back.
I
I Wear Pants
Posts: 16,223
Jun 14, 2012 4:39pm
If you think the problem is "the pussification of America" or kids being pansies or whatever you are completely clueless.