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OhioFan49
Posts: 22
May 5, 2012 8:53pm
alzeheimers and dementia....scare the shit out of me
Y-Town Steelhound
Posts: 1,388
May 6, 2012 1:10pm
IMO when she gets alzheimer's and forgets who you are she becomes a different person. She is no longer the person you married...
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gut
Posts: 15,058
May 6, 2012 1:20pm
^^^this. To say otherwise is really kind of a perverse and extreme interpretation of "in sickness and in health".
She is no longer capable of loving you. She has already been taken from you, just not physically taken yet. I think you absolutely have an obligation to care for her and comfort her, but morally I don't believe you are prevented from moving on with your life. She's in the final stages, in a home, and not getting better or coming back so IMO "till death do us part" is only a technicality at that point - you've already lost her.
She is no longer capable of loving you. She has already been taken from you, just not physically taken yet. I think you absolutely have an obligation to care for her and comfort her, but morally I don't believe you are prevented from moving on with your life. She's in the final stages, in a home, and not getting better or coming back so IMO "till death do us part" is only a technicality at that point - you've already lost her.
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Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
May 6, 2012 5:30pm
Of course you aren't prevented from moving on. That's why the question was posed, would you?
Some would.
Some wouldn't. If that wasn't the case there would be no reason for the question.
Some would.
Some wouldn't. If that wasn't the case there would be no reason for the question.
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gut
Posts: 15,058
May 6, 2012 5:56pm
Obviously you're not prevented or obligated to do anything. The question really is if it's morally wrong in some way. If not, then the question is basically if you would be ready to move on while she's still "living", so more about your personal healing process then a choice/decision you'd consciously make.Con_Alma;1163816 wrote: If that wasn't the case there would be no reason for the question.
I don't believe it is morally wrong. Doubt the Church would even considering touching this, but when you consider that at the core of marriage is procreation and/or raising children in a nuclear family...
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Manhattan Buckeye
Posts: 7,566
May 6, 2012 8:09pm
"I don't believe it is morally wrong. Doubt the Church would even considering touching this, but when you consider that at the core of marriage is procreation and/or raising children in a nuclear family..."
If it helps my wife's step-father was previously married to a woman that became bipolar - my guess he was about 30 at the time. He's Catholic and their wedding was Catholic and the church had no problem with their divorce, obviously since he's now remarried.
It's a question where I'd be hesitant to believe anyone that hasn't been in that situation. It's easy to claim anything until it happens to you.
If it helps my wife's step-father was previously married to a woman that became bipolar - my guess he was about 30 at the time. He's Catholic and their wedding was Catholic and the church had no problem with their divorce, obviously since he's now remarried.
It's a question where I'd be hesitant to believe anyone that hasn't been in that situation. It's easy to claim anything until it happens to you.
2kool4skool
Posts: 1,804
May 6, 2012 8:23pm
Don't get married like an idiot and this wouldn't be a problem.
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Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
May 6, 2012 8:59pm
I agree with your point but I don't think it's easy claiming you would stay. It's certainly easier than actually staying, however.Manhattan Buckeye;1163900 wrote:.... It's easy to claim anything until it happens to you.
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Con_Alma
Posts: 12,198
May 6, 2012 9:01pm
There are some religious ceremonies that suggest that the union of two by God is not to be separated by man. I don't know if that's conditional.gut;1163822 wrote:...
I don't believe it is morally wrong. Doubt the Church would even considering touching this, but when you consider that at the core of marriage is procreation and/or raising children in a nuclear family...
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gut
Posts: 15,058
May 6, 2012 10:13pm
My suspicion was that would be the case, at least in the OP scenario. The one you describe might be a bit surprising, but as I said ultimately the foundation of marriage, at least within the Catholic Church, is procreation and a nuclear family. That may be a very outdated and inadequate position on the part of the Church, but it's largely the basis for continuing to oppose gay marriage.Manhattan Buckeye;1163900 wrote: It's a question where I'd be hesitant to believe anyone that hasn't been in that situation. It's easy to claim anything until it happens to you.
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gut
Posts: 15,058
May 6, 2012 10:14pm
Fair enough, so that could be a factor.Con_Alma;1163923 wrote:There are some religious ceremonies that suggest that the union of two by God is not to be separated by man. I don't know if that's conditional.
As for being easier to claim to stay vs. actually staying, I might suggest it is heavily influenced by opportunity. I doubt many would be actively on the prowl, at least those that were happy before the decline in her condition.
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MontyBrunswick
May 7, 2012 8:35am
If my S/O got alzheimer's I'd just divorce her.
Skyhook79
Posts: 5,739
May 7, 2012 9:00am
A person with Alzheimers doesn't realize what they are doing where the spouse fully knew what he was doing when he committed Adultery. Shame on him.ernest_t_bass;1162122 wrote:First let me state that I don't know much about Alzheimer's, only what I've briefly seen on TV, so I don't know the full affects, or how realistic TV is. I saw a scenario on Grey's Anatomy (watch it with the wife, STFU), and I was wondering how people thought about the situation. I'd like to get your opinions.
Situation:
Dr. Webber's wife has Alzheimer's, and it's to the point where she NEEDS to be in a home. He puts her in a home, and within a short time, she seems to forget who he is, and has fallen in love with another man; an Alzheimer's patient as well. Dr. Webber walks in on his wife (she has little idea who he is, not to mention that he's her husband) and her new boyfriend doing it in her room. You can tell it is devastating for him, but almost like he's happy that she's happy.
Cut to the next week's episode, and you find Dr. Webber with another woman, one with whom he has flirted in the past (and she reciprocated), but he would not touch her because he was committed to his wife. Now that he has seen that his wife is with another man, he goes ahead and does the deed with this other woman.
What would you do? How do you feel about it? (Let's forget about the fact that I was watching Grey's Anatomy)
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
May 7, 2012 9:08am
Get off your fucking high horse... it was a TV show.Skyhook79;1164089 wrote:A person with Alzheimers doesn't realize what they are doing where the spouse fully knew what he was doing when he committed Adultery. Shame on him.
Raw Dawgin' it
Posts: 11,466
May 7, 2012 9:18am
this - gfy skyhook.ernest_t_bass;1164093 wrote:Get off your fucking high horse... it was a TV show.
Skyhook79
Posts: 5,739
May 7, 2012 9:25am
If it's just a TV show then why did you ask the question "How do you feel about it"? Then attack someone for telling how they feel about it????????ernest_t_bass;1164093 wrote:Get off your fucking high horse... it was a TV show.
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
May 7, 2012 9:30am
What would YOU do. Not "Judge a fucking TV character."Skyhook79;1164097 wrote:If it's just a TV show then why did you ask the question "How do you feel about it"? Then attack someone for telling how they feel about it????????
Skyhook79
Posts: 5,739
May 7, 2012 9:36am
ernest_t_bass;1162122 wrote:First let me state that I don't know much about Alzheimer's, only what I've briefly seen on TV, so I don't know the full affects, or how realistic TV is. I saw a scenario on Grey's Anatomy (watch it with the wife, STFU), and I was wondering how people thought about the situation. I'd like to get your opinions.
Situation:
Dr. Webber's wife has Alzheimer's, and it's to the point where she NEEDS to be in a home. He puts her in a home, and within a short time, she seems to forget who he is, and has fallen in love with another man; an Alzheimer's patient as well. Dr. Webber walks in on his wife (she has little idea who he is, not to mention that he's her husband) and her new boyfriend doing it in her room. You can tell it is devastating for him, but almost like he's happy that she's happy.
Cut to the next week's episode, and you find Dr. Webber with another woman, one with whom he has flirted in the past (and she reciprocated), but he would not touch her because he was committed to his wife. Now that he has seen that his wife is with another man, he goes ahead and does the deed with this other woman.
What would you do? How do you feel about it? (Let's forget about the fact that I was watching Grey's Anatomy)
:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:ernest_t_bass;1164099 wrote:What would YOU do. Not "Judge a fucking TV character."
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
May 7, 2012 9:39am
You're a fucking retard. Read the question right before your bolded quote. "What would you do?" Are you seriously defending yourself, judging a fucking TV character? You are the worst.Skyhook79;1164101 wrote::rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:
Belly35
Posts: 9,716
May 7, 2012 9:46am
Maybe for the second time in the history of the OC Con_Alma and I agree on this issue.Con_Alma;1162164 wrote:Others before self.
The difference between the actions of the husband and wife is that one knew they were breaking their agreement while one did not. There' no way I would be physically intimate with another person after vowing to my wife that I wouldn't. It wasn't a conditional agreement.
My commitment to my wife in sickness and in health is a commitment I made.
See the problem with today society is the lack of dedication to commitment ... standard and values
Would she be less my wife if she had cancer or a stroke that disabled her in some manner... ? </SPAN>
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MontyBrunswick
May 7, 2012 10:05am
Yes.Belly35;1164106 wrote: Would she be less my wife if she had cancer or a stroke that disabled her in some manner... ?
like_that
Posts: 26,625
May 7, 2012 10:34am
Speaking of which, you can vote for him in the basement!ernest_t_bass;1164103 wrote:You're a fucking retard. Read the question right before your bolded quote. "What would you do?" Are you seriously defending yourself, judging a fucking TV character? You are the worst.
Skyhook79
Posts: 5,739
May 7, 2012 4:48pm
There are 2 questions you asked I chose to answer the 2nd one. No need to launch a personal attack and call people names but you are good at it.ernest_t_bass;1164103 wrote:You're a fucking retard. Read the question right before your bolded quote. "What would you do?" Are you seriously defending yourself, judging a fucking TV character? You are the worst.