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The 40 Year Old Virgin - great movie, not a great real world situation

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ The 40 Year Old Virgin - great movie, not a great real world situation
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:17 AM
Looking for advice from OC.

One of my closest friends just turned 39 in late September. Great guy, smart guy, has a Ph.D. and teaches at a reputable college, and finally moved out of his parents' house.

I am 99% sure this dude has never known a woman, in the carnal sense. He isn't gay, definitely is in to women but it just hasn't worked out for him. He's made some poor decisions, and has let himself go a bit - but nothing a few weeks of grooming and clothes shopping won't fix.

He's a great guy, loves college sports and always takes off the first weekend of March Madness as he enjoys college basketball. Another friend is trying to convince us all to meet in Vegas next March for the first weekend of the NCAA tourney and, like me, knows our friend's situation and is being more affirmative about it (he's in the Army).

My query is how do I handle this? I'm not sure I'm cool with the Vegas thing, but on the other hand, our friend needs a kick in the rear.
Oct 24, 2011 10:17am
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:19 AM
hooker(s)
Oct 24, 2011 10:19am
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:28 AM
That is my Army friend's solution. Maybe there isn't another way.
Oct 24, 2011 10:28am
ManO'War's avatar

ManO'War

Senior Member

1,420 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:35 AM
Depends on what his criteria is for a woman.


I have a friend who is so particular that he will probably always be alone.
Oct 24, 2011 10:35am
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

Tits McGee

6,196 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:46 AM
Vegas can't hurt. Even if he can't find a broad to bang...at least it would still be a fun time, right?
Oct 24, 2011 10:46am
password's avatar

password

Senior Member

2,360 posts
Oct 24, 2011 11:36 AM
He is a teacher at a college and still can't get laid, he must have bigger issues than you know about. There are always girls in college that want to bang their teacher for extra credit. Tell him to pick out the girl in his class that is struggling to get a passing grade but really tries hard. she is most likely the one who sits in the back with little make up, dresses down for class and doesn't talk to many of her classmates. She is your answer or your buddy is already banging some college chick and doesn't want other people to know about it.
Oct 24, 2011 11:36am
G

gut

Senior Member

15,058 posts
Oct 24, 2011 11:55 AM
Don't try to push him to get a hooker, probably a mistake if he's not comfortable with it (hard to imagine a virgin being ok with that). But it can't be hard to pick-up girls at the club. Just get bottle service somewhere and make sure the group pulls in some girls he has a chance with - ideally some women who have that sort of homely, a bit overweight girlfriend they're looking to get laid.
Oct 24, 2011 11:55am
I

I Am Ahab

Senior Member

478 posts
Oct 24, 2011 12:23 PM
I know a guy like this. Slightly younger, 29, but after the age of ,idk, 21 it should have happened.

The big difference is this guy took the hooker route very early in life. Like early 20's. But the thing is I'm pretty damn sure he has ONLY been with a hooker. Feel kinda bad for people like this. It's almost not fair that there is no one out there for some people it seems like.

This guy I know is just one of those people. He's just strange. Bit in some odd and almost inexplicable sense. He's got a good paying job, drives a nice car, etc. But he just doesn't fit in and is very awkward w women.
Oct 24, 2011 12:23pm
Laley23's avatar

Laley23

GOAT

29,506 posts
Oct 24, 2011 1:21 PM
Go to Vegas, but dont get a hooker.

Vegas is booming that first weekend. Just be willing to spend some money for the partying and he will have a chance. He is 39 and hasnt had sex, so he could always fuck it up, but the chance will almost for sure be there. Especially at the clubs if you decide to spend a bit and get bottle service. Then just invite some women over to join.
Oct 24, 2011 1:21pm
Scarlet_Buckeye's avatar

Scarlet_Buckeye

Senior Member

5,264 posts
Oct 24, 2011 1:53 PM
ManO'War;943395 wrote:Depends on what his criteria is for a woman.


I have a friend who is so particular that he will probably always be alone.
Me too.

The guy is at best a 6, and he won't even give a girl the time unless she is a 9.
Oct 24, 2011 1:53pm
DeyDurkie5's avatar

DeyDurkie5

Senior Member

11,324 posts
Oct 24, 2011 1:59 PM
1 incher?
Oct 24, 2011 1:59pm
S

sportchampps

Senior Member

7,361 posts
Oct 24, 2011 3:54 PM
Bunny ranch
Oct 24, 2011 3:54pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Oct 24, 2011 3:57 PM
If he's happy with his life, why press the issue?
Oct 24, 2011 3:57pm
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Oct 24, 2011 8:35 PM
dlazz;943716 wrote:If he's happy with his life, why press the issue?
He isn't happy, he's always been a bit of a nerd, but in a good way. He has always loved sports and science fiction movies. Whenever I go back to Ohio we would hang out and watch Star Trek or Terminator or whatever and go to Ohio U., Marshall or Ohio St. for a basketball or football game.

Now he's even more of a recluse and doesn't even want to go out, although he still enjoys watching sports on tv, hence why the March weekend is good. He's also grown a ridiculous beard and has gained about 40 lbs in the last few years. There is a reason for concern here.
Oct 24, 2011 8:35pm
gerb131's avatar

gerb131

Senior Member

9,932 posts
Oct 24, 2011 8:41 PM
sportchampps;943710 wrote:Bunny ranch
I'd love to go!
Oct 24, 2011 8:41pm
derek bomar's avatar

derek bomar

Senior Member

3,722 posts
Oct 24, 2011 9:25 PM
ask him honestly if he's ever fucked a broad. If he says no, say "I am MB. I am here to fix this fucking (pun intended) problem" and don't take no for an answer. Get him laid at all costs.
Oct 24, 2011 9:25pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:09 PM
derek bomar;944088 wrote:ask him honestly if he's ever ****ed a broad. If he says no, say "I am MB. I am here to fix this ****ing (pun intended) problem" and don't take no for an answer. Get him laid at all costs.
+1000
Oct 24, 2011 10:09pm
Pick6's avatar

Pick6

A USA American

14,946 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:25 PM
prayers for him.
Oct 24, 2011 10:25pm
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:33 PM
This guy's problem is that he puts the pussy on a pedastal.
Oct 24, 2011 10:33pm
jordo212000's avatar

jordo212000

Senior Member

10,664 posts
Oct 24, 2011 10:37 PM
Little Danny;944226 wrote:This guy's problem is that he puts the pussy on a pedastal.

Touché
Oct 24, 2011 10:37pm
sherm03's avatar

sherm03

I go balls deep.

7,349 posts
Oct 24, 2011 11:49 PM
Don't go the hooker route. If he's 39 and hasn't had sex yet, there's a reason for it. Whatever it is, it's his issue he has to deal with and get past. His friends buying him a hooker is just going to make him feel like shit about the situation.

Get a crew of guys together, go to the bars and clubs, with the sole purpose of finding him a girl to hook up with. But don't pressure him or make him feel like shit if he messes things with a chick. Just be a good wingman for him and it will happen eventually.
Oct 24, 2011 11:49pm
OSH's avatar

OSH

Kosh B'Gosh

4,145 posts
Oct 25, 2011 12:39 AM
Why not just ask him? Talk to him about what he wants. That's what a friend should and would do.

Don't go asking a message board.
Oct 25, 2011 12:39am
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Oct 25, 2011 12:40 AM
sherm03;944361 wrote:Don't go the hooker route. If he's 39 and hasn't had sex yet, there's a reason for it. Whatever it is, it's his issue he has to deal with and get past. His friends buying him a hooker is just going to make him feel like **** about the situation.

Get a crew of guys together, go to the bars and clubs, with the sole purpose of finding him a girl to hook up with. But don't pressure him or make him feel like **** if he messes things with a chick. Just be a good wingman for him and it will happen eventually.
That is the plan, my other buddy in the Army swears he's done this before. He's going to hire a woman (or women) and we'll all hang out on March Madness opening weekend at the Bellagio and bet on games and go clubbing afterwards, the woman (and possibly her friends) will meet up with us.

I didn't think I would ever be involved in something like this, but our friend needs help. He is really a great guy, teaches Biology and physical sciences at a good school, but has absolutely given up on dating or being involved in any type of relationship. It is really sad.
Oct 25, 2011 12:40am
M

Manhattan Buckeye

Senior Member

7,566 posts
Oct 25, 2011 12:43 AM
OSH;944443 wrote:Why not just ask him? Talk to him about what he wants. That's what a friend should and would do.

Don't go asking a message board.
Have you had a conversation with a nearing 40-year old friend if he's ever got laid? We're trying to help his confidence, not break it down. I live in reality. In reality one doesn't ask a guy who he's known for 35 years if he wants a blonde or brunette woman.
Oct 25, 2011 12:43am
OSH's avatar

OSH

Kosh B'Gosh

4,145 posts
Oct 25, 2011 12:51 AM
Manhattan Buckeye;944445 wrote:Have you had a conversation with a nearing 40-year old friend if he's ever got laid? We're trying to help his confidence, not break it down. I live in reality. In reality one doesn't ask a guy who he's known for 35 years if he wants a blonde or brunette woman.
There's ways you can talk to a friend about things aren't there? You don't have to just ask, "hey, you ever been with a woman?"
Oct 25, 2011 12:51am