Several months ago, a very concerned mother wrote into our friend Amber Cooper. This mother was concerned because she found a phallic object in her child’s drawer: it was quite possible that the girl was using it to “M”.

This is a nightmare scenario and finding for any parent. To think that your child, your very own child, could be so psychologically disturbed to do such heinous things to his or her body is beyond heartbreaking. Thankfully, Amber was able to help that mother out and many others by a frank discussion on the topic.

Unfortunately, there is another trend quickly gaining in populartity. Children in high school are calling it “Vegetable Delight” and it involves using vegetables to “M”.

On popular children chat site, Yahoo! Chat Questions, we see a high school girl is very concerned about her new sin. She is a virgin and wants to wait ‘until I am at least 18′, which is disturbing and scary in itself. After talking to her friends, who advised her to use a cucumber to ‘get a feel for it’, the girl instead used a carrot as that was the only produce her mother had available in the refrigerator crisper.

Naturally, the girl did not feel right. She felt ashamed and since her body is so young and not ready for such things, it traumatized her. Her mind is not ready for such things and she is not married, so this was all wrong and she only did it due to media, music and peer pressure.

Imagine being up late, studying one night. Your eyes are groggy and you have your first Midterms in two days. Suddenly, a knock on the door. It is those two cute girls who sit in front of you in Freshman Bio 101. They came by to compare notes from lab and go over a few things that will be on the test.

These girls get comfortable and the night goes from midnight to that awkward 2 am. They brought brownies, and you eat some. Your head is swimming and the next thing you know, ‘wanna see my ink’. You nod yes and you see the abdominal-pubic image up above, with the suggestive number 69.

The next think you know, in confusion your mouth is now filled with sin and from groggy, syncopol eyes you see this girl who for some reason has sat upon your face is now messing with your pants, but instead of mouth-dabbling as she’s forcing her victim to do, instead the friend sits her sin down upon your erected pole thingy.

This is the traps you face, men. These are the trials and tribulations facing all college freshmen this year. 69 attacks, SN2 Neutrophilic backside attacks. They have codenames for them and these are just a few we’ve learned about from reports of freshmen orientation. These stories are true and this is why so many men are now not able to complete college and have to drop out.

Parents, the honus of responsibility is upon you. Make sure if you send your girls to school, they are not sluts who will ruin the lives of good young men. Fathers, do not be afraid to take your sons aside and give them the talk about these new attacks, as best you can.

Most importantly, college freshmen. Guys, these girls are on the prowl and they are toned. They are tanned. And they crave one thing: fulfilling their darkest desires and ruining freshmen lives. It gets them excited and they have the support of every goose-stepping feminist in America and in the highest echelons of goverment. Say no to them and be focused, my friends.

Vatooing, it is the newest threat. Beware, beware.

Make sure if you send your girls to school, they are not sluts who will ruin the lives of good young men

The next think you know, in confusion your mouth is now filled with sin and from groggy, syncopol eyes you see this girl who for some reason has sat upon your face is now messing with your pants, but instead of mouth-dabbling as she’s forcing her victim to do, instead the friend sits her sin down upon your erected pole thingy.

This is the traps you face, men. These are the trials and tribulations facing all college freshmen this year. 69 attacks, SN2 Neutrophilic backside attacks. They have codenames for them and these are just a few we’ve learned about from reports of freshmen orientation. These stories are true and this is why so many men are now not able to complete college and have to drop out.

gorocks99;453494 wrote:This is the traps we face.

We already saw the Mexican zombie flu raises black rapper “Tupac” from the dead, and countless other examples from here in America.