Wedding Invitations - Question (could use some help)

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ Wedding Invitations - Question (could use some help)
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
May 6, 2010 10:52 AM
If parents/step-parents love you, want you to be happy, want the best experience for you on this the day of your nuptuals they will understand and be supportive of the manner you define the invitation to attend your wedding.

I respect your concern for their feelings but at the end of the day they shouldn't be experiencing ill feelings in any form.

Should my daughter choose to marry I will offer to pay for all the events of that day. If for some reason she and her future husband made a decision that I am not referenced or am not listed as the person extending the invitation to our guests, the last thing I would experience would be ill feelings towards her.

It's not about me or my feelings and I know she wouldn't be intentionally seeking to hurt me. I hope your parents and step-parent appreciate your concern ...whatever it is that you decide.
May 6, 2010 10:52am
Websurfinbird's avatar

Websurfinbird

Chosen Person

656 posts
May 6, 2010 11:49 AM
SnotBubbles wrote: BTW....websurfinbird....

What's your stance?
Honestly I don't feel it is my place to dictate how my fiance wants his parents names to appear on the wedding. I have no problem including his stepmom on the invite, but if it is not something that BigAppleBuckeye wants I respect that as well.

Here is another idea I thought of what do you all think?

Mr. and Mrs. WSB parents together with Ms. BAB mom and Mr. and Mrs. BAB dad cordially invite you the wedding of their daughter
Websurfinbird
to
BigAppleBuckeye
son of Ms. BAB mom and Mr. BAB dad

does that make sense??
May 6, 2010 11:49am
sherm03's avatar

sherm03

I go balls deep.

7,349 posts
May 6, 2010 11:52 AM
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
I hear you man!

Thanks for all the posts everybody, keep them coming, this is good stuff. Very helpful
Its seriously mind-numbing. Etiquette says that every guest over 16 gets their own invitation. I have 3 cousins that still live at home. They are 18, 21, and 23. So that means that household is supposed to get 4 serarate invitations?!

Screw that noise...and screw the etiquette. LOL!
May 6, 2010 11:52am
Scarlet_Buckeye's avatar

Scarlet_Buckeye

Senior Member

5,264 posts
May 6, 2010 11:52 AM
Your mother SHOULD BE very sensitive about the wording!!!! I really don't think it is appropriate to include the steps name on it. This is not a time to make a "statement". Honor your mother and father by using their names as they are your parents.

It should read

Ms. (your mother's name) and Mr. (your father's name) request the honor of your presence. blah blah blah
May 6, 2010 11:52am
se-alum's avatar

se-alum

The Biggest Boss

13,948 posts
May 6, 2010 12:02 PM
Fab4Runner wrote: My step parents will both be mentioned on my invitations. They have both been in my life for over 15 years and I love and care about them. My step dad will also be walking me down the aisle along with my dad. If there are any issues (which I do not believe there will be) I will sit them all down and explain why I made the choices and that this is my day and they will have to accept/respect my decisions. The end.
Best advice on this thread. I have a feeling you know what you want to do BAB, so do it, and sit everyone down and explain your decision. If they care about you, they will all understand.
May 6, 2010 12:02pm
C

Con_Alma

Senior Member

12,198 posts
May 6, 2010 12:05 PM
If they are not immature or selfish they won't think twice about it. As said, it's the bride and groom's day.
May 6, 2010 12:05pm
B

bigkahuna

Senior Member

4,454 posts
May 6, 2010 2:02 PM
My wife's parents are divorced

My mom just married my step dad 4 years ago

ours read something like

Mr. Dad In Law and Ms. Mom in Law


Mr. and Mrs. Stepdadad's last name


I would go with what someone else said

Ms. BAB mom and Mr. & Mrs. BAB dad

I would think that putting your mom last would make it seem like she's an after thought
May 6, 2010 2:02pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
May 6, 2010 2:09 PM
No prior experience, but IMO. Unless you have no relationship with 1 biological parent, they should be the only ones on the invite.
May 6, 2010 2:09pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
May 6, 2010 2:11 PM
I have a feeling one day I'm going to be put into this situation. Unfortunately, I will only claim 1 mother ever. My stepmom will never be my mom or my childs grandma. Unless the woman has a huge impact on your upbringing, I would leave her out. It's not your dad or hers day, its yours.
May 6, 2010 2:11pm
Curly J's avatar

Curly J

Self Pwner in Training.

7,282 posts
May 6, 2010 2:29 PM
Just went through this...kinda. My ex and her husband got divorced prior to our Daughter's wedding.

On the Invitation it just said "Together with their Parents"

On the wedding program it listed us all

Mr & Mrs Groom's Parents
Mr & Mrs Curly J
Mr Bride's Step-Dad
Ms Bride's Whore Mom
May 6, 2010 2:29pm
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar

BigAppleBuckeye

Senior Member

2,935 posts
May 6, 2010 2:33 PM
Curly J wrote: Just went through this...kinda. My ex and her husband got divorced prior to our Daughter's wedding.

On the Invitation it just said "Together with their Parents"

On the wedding program it listed us all

Mr & Mrs Groom's Parents
Mr & Mrs Curly J
Mr Bride's Step-Dad
Ms Bride's Whore Mom
haha, reminds me of the gameshow scene in Billy Madison haha
May 6, 2010 2:33pm
CenterBHSFan's avatar

CenterBHSFan

333 - I'm only half evil

6,115 posts
May 6, 2010 6:33 PM
Websurfinbird wrote: Here is another idea I thought of what do you all think?

Mr. and Mrs. WSB parents together with Ms. BAB mom and Mr. and Mrs. BAB dad cordially invite you the wedding of their daughter
Websurfinbird
to
BigAppleBuckeye
son of Ms. BAB mom and Mr. BAB dad

does that make sense??

That is exactly how I would do it!
May 6, 2010 6:33pm
O

OUgrad

Senior Member

125 posts
May 7, 2010 1:08 PM
Just remember, women have long memories. If you hurt her feelings, and you plan on having any kind of relationship with her after you're married, think long and hard about how you handle this situation. And don't ask her how she feels about it, b/c she won't want to rock the boat (unless you have a very open and understanding relationship to begin with). Personally, I feel she needs to be included (in some way). I like websurfinbird's solution!
May 7, 2010 1:08pm
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
May 7, 2010 1:11 PM
sej wrote: Mr. and Mrs BABdad and Ms BAB mom is the accepted method, I think.
you are correct ;)
May 7, 2010 1:11pm
T

Timber

Senior Member

935 posts
May 8, 2010 2:40 AM
One thing to remember... other than your immediate families... the majority of the people attending the wedding/reception won't give a rat's rear end what is on the invitation. Don't overthink it. Just do what you think is right for your family... you know the dynamics of the relationships and most likely what will happen in the future regarding those relationships.

My advice to all couples getting married... do not wear yourself out at the reception trying to make everybody there happy. Try to relax and enjoy your special day and everyone will have a great time... it goes incredibly fast. (Then the dog years start kicking in... LOL) Best wishes!
May 8, 2010 2:40am
bcubed's avatar

bcubed

Senior Member

410 posts
May 8, 2010 9:36 AM
sherm03 wrote: Its seriously mind-numbing. Etiquette says that every guest over 16 gets their own invitation. I have 3 cousins that still live at home. They are 18, 21, and 23. So that means that household is supposed to get 4 serarate invitations?!

Screw that noise...and screw the etiquette. LOL!
I agree with sherm03, just say screw it all and go to Vegas and Elope! Then you can spend the money on blackjack and maybe make some dough instead of spending it.
May 8, 2010 9:36am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
May 8, 2010 12:22 PM
I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
May 8, 2010 12:22pm
sej's avatar

sej

Senior Member

540 posts
May 10, 2010 8:38 AM
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Probably no reason...other than they're Jewish.
May 10, 2010 8:38am
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar

BigAppleBuckeye

Senior Member

2,935 posts
May 10, 2010 9:14 AM
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Because it was the only way I would be allowed to break glass at my wedding and not get yelled at :P
May 10, 2010 9:14am
Websurfinbird's avatar

Websurfinbird

Chosen Person

656 posts
May 10, 2010 9:57 AM
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
sleeper wrote: I think the better question is, why are you having a Jewish wedding?
Because it was the only way I would be allowed to break glass at my wedding and not get yelled at :P
Plus Jewish weddings are more fun.
May 10, 2010 9:57am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
May 10, 2010 10:16 AM
Can I come?
May 10, 2010 10:16am
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar

BigAppleBuckeye

Senior Member

2,935 posts
May 10, 2010 10:18 AM
sleeper wrote: Can I come?
It wouldn't be a wedding without you Sleeper! One condition: you have to incorporate "Take that to the Bank" into a speech at some point.
May 10, 2010 10:18am
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
May 10, 2010 10:19 AM
"These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
May 10, 2010 10:19am
BigAppleBuckeye's avatar

BigAppleBuckeye

Senior Member

2,935 posts
May 10, 2010 10:25 AM
sleeper wrote: "These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
Worthy of a toast right there ... haha
May 10, 2010 10:25am
Websurfinbird's avatar

Websurfinbird

Chosen Person

656 posts
May 10, 2010 4:18 PM
BigAppleBuckeye wrote:
sleeper wrote: "These two will be boning to the end of time, and you can take that to the bank...a Jewish bank"

LOL
Worthy of a toast right there ... haha
Touche
May 10, 2010 4:18pm