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Asking father for daughters hand in marriage?

Home ▸ Archive ▸ Serious Business ▸ Asking father for daughters hand in marriage?
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Apr 6, 2010 8:50 PM
LJ wrote:

His was in Olean NY. 2 17 year old girls got drunk the in backseat of his 69 Camaro and the cop caught them puking out the window. Apparently he decided he wasn't going to jail that night so he beat the hell out of the cop and went to jail anyways.

The 2nd time he was arrested it was for running over a guy's car with his lifted Jeep.
sounds like a stable dude.
Apr 6, 2010 8:50pm
darbypitcher22's avatar

darbypitcher22

Senior Member

8,000 posts
Apr 6, 2010 8:57 PM
I would probably ask because it seems like the right thing to do
Apr 6, 2010 8:57pm
J

jmog

Senior Member

6,567 posts
Apr 6, 2010 8:57 PM
I did, its more of a respect thing than a really asking for permission thing.

I knew going in my father in law would say yes, and knew he wouldn't get pissed if I didn't ask, but I know he appreciated it in the first place.

Honestly, if he had said "no", we would have got married anyway.

My 3 boys will do it too, its how I will raise them. Its about respect, not about really asking for permission.
Apr 6, 2010 8:57pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 9:15 PM
ZWICK 4 PREZ wrote:
LJ wrote:

His was in Olean NY. 2 17 year old girls got drunk the in backseat of his 69 Camaro and the cop caught them puking out the window. Apparently he decided he wasn't going to jail that night so he beat the hell out of the cop and went to jail anyways.

The 2nd time he was arrested it was for running over a guy's car with his lifted Jeep.
sounds like a stable dude.
He is now. This was 30 years ago. His best friend was killed in a street racing accident and he straightened his shit out that day forward.
Apr 6, 2010 9:15pm
CenterBHSFan's avatar

CenterBHSFan

333 - I'm only half evil

6,115 posts
Apr 6, 2010 9:32 PM
LJ wrote:
CenterBHSFan wrote:
LJ wrote: but he is a biker who's nickname was "Mountain" and he is best known around his area for beating the shit out of a cop back in the 70's.
haha! My dad did the same exact thing!! But, his situation was in Wheeling.
His was in Olean NY. 2 17 year old girls got drunk the in backseat of his 69 Camaro and the cop caught them puking out the window. Apparently he decided he wasn't going to jail that night so he beat the hell out of the cop and went to jail anyways.

The 2nd time he was arrested it was for running over a guy's car with his lifted Jeep.
That's funny!

My dad just got rowdy at a bar and beat somebody up. When the cop came and put his hand on my dad's arm to take him outside my dad told him to get his hands off of him, and jerked his arm away. When the cop grabbed him again he let him have it a few times.

Let me just say that my dad is a fairly big guy with huge arms and hands (wears size 15 ring) so it was probably like getting hit with a brick.
Apr 6, 2010 9:32pm
LJ's avatar

LJ

Senior Member

16,351 posts
Apr 6, 2010 9:34 PM
CenterBHSFan wrote:
LJ wrote:
CenterBHSFan wrote:
LJ wrote: but he is a biker who's nickname was "Mountain" and he is best known around his area for beating the shit out of a cop back in the 70's.
haha! My dad did the same exact thing!! But, his situation was in Wheeling.
His was in Olean NY. 2 17 year old girls got drunk the in backseat of his 69 Camaro and the cop caught them puking out the window. Apparently he decided he wasn't going to jail that night so he beat the hell out of the cop and went to jail anyways.

The 2nd time he was arrested it was for running over a guy's car with his lifted Jeep.
That's funny!

My dad just got rowdy at a bar and beat somebody up. When the cop came and put his hand on my dad's arm to take him outside my dad told him to get his hands off of him, and jerked his arm away. When the cop grabbed him again he let him have it a few times.

Let me just say that my dad is a fairly big guy with huge arms and hands (wears size 15 ring) so it was probably like getting hit with a brick.
Her dad was like 6'3 250 so he was a pretty big guy, esp for the 70's. He is down to like 195 lbs today and runs 8 miles every morning. He really changed his life around.
Apr 6, 2010 9:34pm
thedynasty1998's avatar

thedynasty1998

Senior Member

6,844 posts
Apr 6, 2010 9:38 PM
I didn't read this whole thread, but I got engaged about 2 months ago and asked the father.
Apr 6, 2010 9:38pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Apr 6, 2010 10:02 PM
If I ever get remarried, I could see going and telling my future father-in-law my plans to marry his daughter... not ask permission, just as others have said, out of respect.

I can tell you all this, if my daughter (who is too young anyway) had one of her dumas bf's come to me and ask to marry her, I most certainly would say no!
Apr 6, 2010 10:02pm
hasbeen's avatar

hasbeen

Excuse me, Flo?

6,504 posts
Apr 6, 2010 10:11 PM
Apple wrote: If I ever get remarried, I could see going and telling my future father-in-law my plans to marry his daughter... not ask permission, just as others have said, out of respect.

I can tell you all this, if my daughter (who is too young anyway) had one of her dumas bf's come to me and ask to marry her, I most certainly would say no!
You'd say no? Why would you say no?
Apr 6, 2010 10:11pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Apr 6, 2010 10:15 PM
Because 1. She's way too young and 2. every guy she "likes" is an asshole to this point in time!
Apr 6, 2010 10:15pm
hasbeen's avatar

hasbeen

Excuse me, Flo?

6,504 posts
Apr 6, 2010 10:26 PM
Apple wrote: Because 1. She's way too young and 2. every guy she "likes" is an asshole to this point in time!
oh ok. I thought you meant you'd say no if anyone EVER asked you because you don't believe in it. my bad.
Apr 6, 2010 10:26pm
J

June18

Senior Member

298 posts
Apr 6, 2010 10:35 PM
I asked...drove around the block 6 times before I finally went in. His answer " I don't give a shit what you guys do!"
Apr 6, 2010 10:35pm
Laley23's avatar

Laley23

GOAT

29,506 posts
Apr 6, 2010 11:34 PM
I will, and if the dad says no I will say "Well to bad, I was just being polite" lol
Apr 6, 2010 11:34pm
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Apr 6, 2010 11:42 PM
It's good to ask and have a good relationship with the in-laws. I've been told you don't just marry the girl, you marry the family as well. In-laws can cause a lot of problems for you.
Apr 6, 2010 11:42pm
T

Timber

Senior Member

935 posts
Apr 7, 2010 12:06 AM
Much depends on:
The girl's age and her relationship with her father. My wife was not close to her father when we dated due to a divorce. No need for his input, because my wife did not give a hoot about him. However, if they had a strong relationship... I would have asked, and if he said no... I would say I respect your opinion, but I love your daughter, she loves me and we are going to spend the rest of our life together. Then I would simply take the wedding on the road.... and screw all of em. Maybe a drive through in Vegas... somethin' really classy.
Apr 7, 2010 12:06am
Cleveland Buck's avatar

Cleveland Buck

Troll Hunter

5,126 posts
Apr 7, 2010 12:07 AM
gorocks99 wrote:
This is the best advice on this thread.
Apr 7, 2010 12:07am
B

baseballstud24

Senior Member

547 posts
Apr 7, 2010 7:32 AM
I asked her dad and mom one night. They were both very appreciative. I was happy I did it.
Apr 7, 2010 7:32am
S

Swamp Fox

Senior Member

2,218 posts
Apr 7, 2010 7:48 AM
Whether a man is sincere when he asks his intended's Dad for his daughter's hand or not, I think it's really a great way to start a positive relationship with the family. If your marriage works out well, the man you now count as your father-in-law will be your father-in-law for lord knows how many years. It would probably be better to get along with the in laws than to have an ongoing feud with them. However, in my case, I never had to ask the father because he was no longer alive and my wife to be had a very nice Mom and also lived with her Grand parents in the same house. It worked out very well for us. All of this said, I consider myself to be a very lucky man in that my wife and I had four sons so I never had to have that conversation with prospective sons in law. Don't get me wrong though. I have two wonderful grand daughters who I love dearly but I'm still grateful that I never had to worry about my own daughters out with high school boys. I remember what I was like and how my male mind worked when I was a teen ager and it's scary to think about. I also have seven grandsons.
Apr 7, 2010 7:48am
V

vball10set

paying it forward

24,795 posts
Apr 7, 2010 8:55 AM
it's all about respect--period. If you love each other and are ready to take the next step, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks--dad included. However, it's a sign of respect not only for papa, but for young lady as well....do it ;)
Apr 7, 2010 8:55am
D

Def Leopard

Senior Member

176 posts
Apr 7, 2010 9:53 AM
Fab1b wrote: I didn't the first time and I won't the next time!! I had/have (engaged now) good relationships with both dads however I just don't believe in that. She is a grown woman he has no say, like someone above asked what if he says no??
Both of my sons -in-law talked to me before they asked my daughters to marry them. It wasn't so much asking my permission, it was more letting me know their plans and getting a chance to have a man to man with their future father-in-law. It was done more as a show of respect which I appreciate greatly.
Apr 7, 2010 9:53am
Devils Advocate's avatar

Devils Advocate

Brudda o da bomber

4,539 posts
Apr 7, 2010 10:04 AM
Asking for the daughter hand shows respect

Asking to do the daughters MOM shows BALLS :P
Apr 7, 2010 10:04am
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Apr 7, 2010 10:23 AM
^^^^^ You mean the daughter's mom????
Apr 7, 2010 10:23am
Devils Advocate's avatar

Devils Advocate

Brudda o da bomber

4,539 posts
Apr 7, 2010 10:27 AM
yep.... THAT
Apr 7, 2010 10:27am
B

BlueJayRay

Senior Member

106 posts
Apr 7, 2010 10:41 AM
Hmmm.
So... what do you suppose it means when the Father asks ME to marry his daughter?!? (LOL)
Apr 7, 2010 10:41am
Devils Advocate's avatar

Devils Advocate

Brudda o da bomber

4,539 posts
Apr 7, 2010 10:44 AM
^^^ If you line in KY.... You should listen to your father, or run like hell.
Apr 7, 2010 10:44am