Yep...another rookie j 70 relationship adice thread

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rookie_j70's avatar

rookie_j70

Senior Member

677 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:09 PM
Let me just cut to the chase. There is a girl I go to school with and we're pretty good friends. I'm 22 and she's 21. We're both from the same town, graduated 2 years apart but from different high schools. We've gone out together, just the two of us and also in groups of friends of couple of times. Anyways, I really like her, but she's said that she doesn't want to get in a relationship. She just wants to hang out with friends and have fun. I've told her I felt the same way. Well I lied. I like her and I want to tell her. But, I don't want to complicate our friendship or make it akward. I try to flirt with her a little bit, but I'm really subtle about it and I think she knows I like her but hasn't confronted me about it.

So what should I do? I want to tell her how I feel, but I don't want to complicate our friendship or make it akward.

(And before anyone of you chime in; I won't do her best friend because A) it's her best friend and some girls don't like that and B) her best friend has been dating a cop for the past 3 years)
Mar 10, 2010 4:09pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:11 PM
Smack her on the ass and tell her let's get it on, see what happens!! :)
Mar 10, 2010 4:11pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:11 PM
Friends with benefits. Solves both problems.
Mar 10, 2010 4:11pm
rookie_j70's avatar

rookie_j70

Senior Member

677 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:12 PM
C'mon guys I'm being serious
Mar 10, 2010 4:12pm
Fab1b's avatar

Fab1b

The Bald A-Hole!!

12,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:13 PM
Just come out and tell her how you feel dude that is really all you can do. The ball will then be in her court!
Mar 10, 2010 4:13pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:15 PM
rookie_j70 wrote: C'mon guys I'm being serious
As am I.
Mar 10, 2010 4:15pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:15 PM
Subtly get her attention.

Mar 10, 2010 4:15pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:17 PM
Spend some one on one time with her and see where it goes. The feelings are going to develop or not. I mean you can't force her to have feelings for you. And who knows once you spend some alone time with her you might find out that you really aren't that into her.
Mar 10, 2010 4:17pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:18 PM
No guts, no glory. Tell her how you feel.
Mar 10, 2010 4:18pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:18 PM
Is she truly not ready to be in relationship or is it just her subtle way of saying she's just not that in to you?

Not trying to be an ass.

If she was interested, she would have let you know.
Mar 10, 2010 4:18pm
T

Timber

Senior Member

935 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:19 PM
If you really like her.... ask her again about her feelings about being in a relationship. Then ask her if she does not want to be in a relationship with anyone... or just you? Tell her no hard feelings, but you had to ask... if you really care for her. Otherwise... you might spend the rest of your life asking and wondering.... what if??? Do not let that happen.
Mar 10, 2010 4:19pm
rookie_j70's avatar

rookie_j70

Senior Member

677 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:22 PM
No snow we go! wrote: If you really like her.... ask her again about her feelings about being in a relationship. Then ask her if she does not want to be in a relationship with anyone... or just you? Tell her no hard feelings, but you had to ask... if you really care for her. Otherwise... you might spend the rest of your life asking and wondering.... what if??? Do not let that happen.
that just might be the most genius idea ever...thanks i think i might try that when the time is right
Mar 10, 2010 4:22pm
ts1227's avatar

ts1227

Senior Member

12,319 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:23 PM
Do her best friend
Mar 10, 2010 4:23pm
Z

Zoltan

Senior Member

1,003 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:23 PM
"I try to flirt with her a little bit, but I'm really subtle about it and I think she knows I like her but hasn't confronted me about it."

Sounds like you are in the "Friend Zone." If she knows you like her and doesn't want a relationship, she probably does not like you in that way. May as well get your feelings on the table but its going to be awkward. IMO if I like a girl and she wants to be friends, I usually do not end up being friends with them.

As they say, "friends who are girls, are just girls you haven't fu**** yet."
Mar 10, 2010 4:23pm
C

capninsano

Senior Member

411 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:28 PM
Don't tell her how you feel. You put the pussy on a pedestal when you do that and completely cut out any kind of chase whatsoever. The chase is the part that is the most fun and attractive. Take her on a date (not dinner and a movie please, be different), subtely escalate things physically (find reasons to touch her hands then get progressively more sensual...this takes game btw to pull off without being creepy) and go for the kiss at the end of the night. It shows you are in control and go after what you want. That's attractive to a woman.

However, given that you guys are already friends, the boat has probably sailed on that idea. Her saying she doesn't want to be in a relationship is her saying she isn't interested. Girls especially wouldn't pass on someone they thought could potentially be "the one".
Mar 10, 2010 4:28pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:32 PM
Tell her you only have six months to live and want to die happy, then at the end of the six months come up with some miracle cure. By that time she will be trapped into loving you.
Mar 10, 2010 4:32pm
bcubed's avatar

bcubed

Senior Member

410 posts
Mar 10, 2010 4:36 PM
Tell her you want to talk to her and ask her to sit on your lap! Then when she asks what you want to talk about, tell her the first thing that pops up! If that don't excite her you are never going to be more than friends!
Mar 10, 2010 4:36pm
M

MontyBrunswick

Mar 10, 2010 4:52 PM
Just show up at her house naked and see where it goes.
Mar 10, 2010 4:52pm
Firad's avatar

Firad

Senior Member

1,525 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:02 PM
dlazz wrote: Just show up at her house naked and see where it goes.
That could possibly go to court.
Mar 10, 2010 5:02pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:06 PM
You really only have 2 legitimate options.

Option 1: Continue to be a good friend to her, make her laugh, treat her nicely(don't buy her shit though), don't make it seem like you care about being in a relationship, just be yourself and see what happens. Also, with option 1, you must continue to explore other options with other women, however do NOT bring that up unless she brings it up. Maybe she will end up liking you, maybe she won't, but she'll still be your friend.

Option 2: Just stop talking to her. Period. I know she may seem like the greatest thing since sliced bread(or Lebron James), but she's not. There are plenty of other women who are probably just as good as her, if not better. Don't be a jerk to her, but just don't be the one texting/calling/setting up plans, etc. with her, let her make the decision to spend time/talk to you. Eventually, if she really likes you, she will notice this and probably ask you what's up, and you just simply say this "I'm sorry, I didn't think you were interested", and go from there. Don't act like its a big deal, but it kind of let's her know that you're interested, without having to come out and say it.

Oh yea, and with option 2, you gotta try to move on if she doesn't give a shit. Easier said than done, but you HAVE to do it.

Good luck.
Mar 10, 2010 5:06pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:07 PM
I actually like option 2 from sleeper.
Mar 10, 2010 5:07pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:07 PM
Firad wrote:
dlazz wrote: Just show up at her house naked and see where it goes.
That could possibly go to court.
And if her best friend and her cop boyfriend are hanging out at the time, it could also lead to an epic nightstick beatdown.

Hmmm....

DO THIS!!!
Mar 10, 2010 5:07pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:08 PM
If she's not into you, she won't come out and tell you, she'll make excuses like she doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. Won't hurt to call her on it as long as you don't come out looking like you're desperate. I'd give you you about a 15% chance of being able to change her mind. If you strike out with her, move on and employ the approach capninsano suggested on the next hottie that catches you eye.
Mar 10, 2010 5:08pm
DeyDurkie5's avatar

DeyDurkie5

Senior Member

11,324 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:09 PM
sleeper wrote: You really only have 2 legitimate options.

Option 1: Continue to be a good friend to her, make her laugh, treat her nicely(don't buy her shit though), don't make it seem like you care about being in a relationship, just be yourself and see what happens. Also, with option 1, you must continue to explore other options with other women, however do NOT bring that up unless she brings it up. Maybe she will end up liking you, maybe she won't, but she'll still be your friend.

Option 2: Just stop talking to her. Period. I know she may seem like the greatest thing since sliced bread(or Lebron James), but she's not. There are plenty of other women who are probably just as good as her, if not better. Don't be a jerk to her, but just don't be the one texting/calling/setting up plans, etc. with her, let her make the decision to spend time/talk to you. Eventually, if she really likes you, she will notice this and probably ask you what's up, and you just simply say this "I'm sorry, I didn't think you were interested", and go from there. Don't act like its a big deal, but it kind of let's her know that you're interested, without having to come out and say it.

Oh yea, and with option 2, you gotta try to move on if she doesn't give a shit. Easier said than done, but you HAVE to do it.

Good luck.
I was expecting a do her mom response but this is definitely the best answer on the thread imo lol
Mar 10, 2010 5:09pm
se-alum's avatar

se-alum

The Biggest Boss

13,948 posts
Mar 10, 2010 5:19 PM
Don't tell her how you feel, just go w/ it, and if she wants it to happen it will.
Mar 10, 2010 5:19pm