I always mess with my girl via text and she is quick to come back at me too. We sext/text/ da da da when we aren't together. What are some of your funny exchanges you have via text, with anyone?

Here is an exchange today between my girl and I, note she has not been feeling well the last couple days, sinus infection:

Me: Feeling ok to fuck tonight?

Her: We'll see baby, no promises. The only definate is nyquil for me tonight.

Me: I'll do ya unconscious, I am not above that!

Her: LMAO, whatever

Me: I'm Serious!!

If ya gotta ask I say its a no. But I as well am not above of going for a dive/ride if said female is asleep.

I posted this on another thread...an exchange between me and a very good friend(girl) of mine.

Me: Hey, you left a coathanger at my place. Did you have an abortion in my bathroom?"

Her: "umm...maybe. I flushed the evidence though."

^ nasty LOL!!

A friend of mine the other day, some of you will get this

Me: hey can you get me a half for $40

Him: No but I can get you a half for $40

Me: That's what I said asshole

Him: It's 50 now numbnuts

Me: Shutup and deliver

Fab1b wrote: ^ nasty LOL!!

A friend of mine the other day, some of you will get this

Me: hey can you get me a half for $40

Him: No but I can get you a half for $40

Me: That's what I said asshole

Him: It's 50 now numbnuts

Me: Shutup and deliver

either thats really shitty weed or im confused.

Fab1b wrote: ^ nasty LOL!!

A friend of mine the other day, some of you will get this

Me: hey can you get me a half for $40

Him: No but I can get you a half for $40

Kinda confused, thats cheap ass weed or mids.

Him: It's 50 now numbnuts

Me: Shutup and deliver

Uhm, sounds like shitty weed (Mids) lol.

The_Crosby_Show wrote:

Fab1b wrote: ^ nasty LOL!!

A friend of mine the other day, some of you will get this

Me: hey can you get me a half for $40

Him: No but I can get you a half for $40

Kinda confused, thats cheap ass weed or mids.

Him: It's 50 now numbnuts

Me: Shutup and deliver

Uhm, sounds like shitty weed (Mids) lol.

Mids?

You mean some authentic downtown brown?

Chesapeake wrote:

The_Crosby_Show wrote:

Fab1b wrote: ^ nasty LOL!!

A friend of mine the other day, some of you will get this

Me: hey can you get me a half for $40

Him: No but I can get you a half for $40

Kinda confused, thats cheap ass weed or mids.

Him: It's 50 now numbnuts

Me: Shutup and deliver

Uhm, sounds like shitty weed (Mids) lol.

Mids?

You mean some authentic downtown brown?

It sounded like shitty weed. It's either Dank or Mids.

Mids, a little trick gentlemen, put your stash in the freezer it will moisten up and it is much better!! Trust me on that! I use a little old pepperidge farms cheese crock, minus the cheese that has a rubber seal on it, works like a charm!

My wife has an androgynous first name, which happens to be the same as a guy friend who is also a friend of the guy who was best man in our wedding.

My buddy (the best man guy) was coming off of a hard divorce a few years ago and attended a Bon Jovi concert in Dallas. He kept texting my wife (thinking erroneously that he was texting our mutual friend) Bon Jovi lyrics during the concert, adjusted for his drunken state. There were texts such as:

"Yoy give love a baf game"
"raisd yout hands"
"Tommu used ti woirk on the docks"
"Ima cowebu, on a still horts i ride"

etc. He apologized profusely when he sobered up...I still give him crap for it.

This is one between my cousin and I that was actually on TFLN. Dunno if it's still there.

(614): wat was that drink u got me
(330): A cement mixer.
(614): well then i jus poured fresh concret all over the kichen floor

Few years ago after an event I went to. At the event met up with a complete babe so she could pay for the tix she got frome me...

(just paraphrasing but is pretty close....

Friend: How was it?

ME: Good time.

Friend: Ya meet *********

Me: Yeah.

Me: ****** is HOT

******: Who is hot?

Me: ****** is.

******: Um, this is her.

Me: Oh shit. Sorry. taht was to go to my friend.

KInda mentioned that on another thread about txt to incorrect people. Was kinda embarrassing, and funny after the fact. Did open up a door tho so it was cool....but man.....i was embarrassed when i did that!

Needless to say...now any phone Ill have will have some sort of threaded messaging to make sure.

Me: So how was the old chick last night

My buddy: Not great, but she made bloody mary's for breakfast. I mite luv her.

Back in 2004 after my now ex wife and I split I had fooled around with another chick with the same first name. Now I was still seeing my ex wife on the side still trying to work things out but she had moved to Ohio and we'd agreed to see other people and move on with our lives but we could still have fun together and possibly get back together. She had flown down to stay a weekend with me and i had just got back from a weekend in Ohio with her. I meet this new chick and hit a few times, so one night I wanted to see if she wanted to come over. it went pretty close to this:

Me: Coming over tonight?
Katie: How is that possible I'm in Ohio
Me: Oops wrong Katie, sorry baby
Katie: better be using a fucking rubber asshole

^^Classic.
thats why the couple double names in my phone i use nicknames for.

After that the 2nd Katie was put as KT in my phone!

Had to change one of mine as the one was kristin and other kristen.

Could never remember which one was the I and which one was the E.

It's why I list my contacts as last name being first.

Fab1b wrote: Back in 2004 after my now ex wife and I split I had fooled around with another chick with the same first name. Now I was still seeing my ex wife on the side still trying to work things out but she had moved to Ohio and we'd agreed to see other people and move on with our lives but we could still have fun together and possibly get back together. She had flown down to stay a weekend with me and i had just got back from a weekend in Ohio with her. I meet this new chick and hit a few times, so one night I wanted to see if she wanted to come over. it went pretty close to this:

Me: Coming over tonight?
Katie: How is that possible I'm in Ohio
Me: Oops wrong Katie, sorry baby
Katie: better be using a fucking rubber asshole

I truly LOL at this one.

The good times between the exwife and I only lasted about 6 more months after that then it was over for good!!

At least it wasn't a bad divorce....

A buddy of mine was dating a chick we'd both grown up knowing, and she texted me one night while at his place. (I'm 330, by the way)

(216): [o-trap], do you know what a blumpkin is?
(330): Yeah, why the hell would you ask?
(216): Danny's drunk and in the bathroom.
(330): Oh geez ...
(216): He asked me to give him one, but I don't know where he keeps them.

Oh it wasn't nice, things took a terrible turn when I decided that i didn't want to get back together with her and take my own path, then the fight was on!

O-Trap wrote: A buddy of mine was dating a chick we'd both grown up knowing, and she texted me one night while at his place. (I'm 330, by the way)

(216): [o-trap], do you know what a blumpkin is?
(330): Yeah, why the hell would you ask?
(216): Danny's drunk and in the bathroom.
(330): Oh geez ...
(216): He asked me to give him one, but I don't know where he keeps them.

Fantastic post!!

She was platinum blond, both in hair color and in personality.