Cleveland, as bad as you think

For many years, Cleveland Ohio, also known as "The Mistake By The Lake", was the national joke in the United States. The city was so bad (HOW BAD WAS IT?) that even Jimmy Hoffa's body didn't want to be found there. (Cleveland humor - as bad as it sounds).

The city fathers decided to clean up the city, starting with a giant magic show: Making Water Burn. In 1967 they lit the Cuyahoga River on fire and entered into the Guinness Book of World Records as hosting the world's largest weenie and marshmallow roast. Nice try, but no thank you.

In response, God placed a horrifyingly terrible curse on the city. However, in a move of compassion, he promised never to give Cleveland such a bad turn again. As a sign, he endowed the city with the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. There was also a Rock and Knoll Hall of Game, but this should have been placed in the redneck city of the state, Sunbury, in Delaware County. The collection can now be seen in the basement of the mayors house. Mt. Vernon decided that it needed something special and celebrated the fact that author of 'Dixie' and 'Turkey in The Straw', Dan Emmet, was born there. This was a bad move, as out-of-county-ers thought the festival celebrating this man was called "The Dammit Festival". Some residents believe it is.

Cleveland is also a popular breeding ground for Emos, the mysterious cousins of the less-pussy-ish Goths. Emos and Poser-Emos alike cluster around Cleveland, cutting themselsves for attention and forcing their lifestyle choices on us sane Clevelanders.

Sunbury Home to republicans, overalls, and cheating lucky sons of bitches.