So my wife wants her mother in the delivering room!?

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Nashley25

Member

82 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:44 PM
My wife and I our having a first child anyday now and she has told me she would like to have her mother present during delivery. My wife and her mom are close and she has stated how wonderful it would be for her mom to be there during the birth of one of her grandchildren. I'm kinda struggling with this b/c I feel like its about us not her mother. Is my thinking wrong about this or not?
Jan 8, 2010 2:44pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:45 PM
The birthing process is nasty. I don't know why people would volunteer to be there. Stay in the waiting room, wait til the little blue puss covered thing is clean, then come in and say hi. Not difficult.
Jan 8, 2010 2:45pm
T

trackandccrunner

Senior Member

1,283 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:45 PM
Are you still going to be there too? If so I don't really see anything wrong with her mom being there as well.
Jan 8, 2010 2:45pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:47 PM
my mother in law was in there with me and the wife. I tried to fight it, but to no avail, the wife was pretty set on it. it wasn't a big deal and it wasn't worth fighting over.

Luckily we had to go in for an emergency c-section and I was the only one permitted there. take that denise!
Jan 8, 2010 2:47pm
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Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:48 PM
Nothing wrong with her mother being there. It's normal.
Jan 8, 2010 2:48pm
gorocks99's avatar

gorocks99

Senior Member

10,760 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:49 PM
Jan 8, 2010 2:49pm
Apple's avatar

Apple

Prost!

2,620 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:50 PM
ehhh... no big deal. Keep the women happy and you'll be happy in the long run.
Jan 8, 2010 2:50pm
ZWICK 4 PREZ's avatar

ZWICK 4 PREZ

Senior Member

7,733 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:51 PM
Nashley25 wrote: I feel like its about us not her mother.
well she prolly feels like since it's coming outta her and not u that she's entitled to this choice.
Jan 8, 2010 2:51pm
ernest_t_bass's avatar

ernest_t_bass

12th Son of the Lama

24,984 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:52 PM
My mother-in-law is a nurse, and I actually was wondering if she would be in there. Take some pressure off me!
Jan 8, 2010 2:52pm
arnie palmer's avatar

arnie palmer

Senior Member

198 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:53 PM
I actually am glad my mother-in-law was in the room. My wife had some minor issues and it helped to have her mom there and talk her through it since she had experienced and tell her it was okay
Jan 8, 2010 2:53pm
G

genghis dong

Senior Member

391 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:55 PM
My mother in law wanted to be in the room. We had to ask the nurses to keep her out, but our son was also an emergency c-section. With our second on the way she already asked to ride to the hospital with us.
Jan 8, 2010 2:55pm
Websurfinbird's avatar

Websurfinbird

Chosen Person

656 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:55 PM
As a female, I think I would 100% want my mother in there, and would even welcome my future mother-in-law in the room. Point being I want someone(s) with me who have gone through it before and can offer guidance and support.

I'd love to hear from any mothers on here.
Jan 8, 2010 2:55pm
gerb131's avatar

gerb131

Senior Member

9,932 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:55 PM
Thats where it starts, soon she will be showing up during football games and subbing in and out for beer pong before long you will be moving to a 3 bedroom apartment and have absolutely nowhere to put your extensive collection of action figures that place will now be designated for Longaberger baskets.
Nah you will be fine, take GoRocks advice, I saw my sons birth and it was utterly repulsive.
Jan 8, 2010 2:55pm
GoChiefs's avatar

GoChiefs

Resident Maniac

16,754 posts
Jan 8, 2010 2:57 PM
I'd rather her be in there than me.
Jan 8, 2010 2:57pm
N

Nate

Formerly Known As Keebler

3,949 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:01 PM
I would have been crazy if my baby mama's mama wasn't in the room during it all. My baby mama was full of drama and it was easier for me to sit back and relax while baby mama's mama tried to console her which baby mama wasn't having. Baby mama's mama took all the nasty attacks instead of me.
Jan 8, 2010 3:01pm
R

raiderbuck

Senior Member

1,623 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:01 PM
I'd leave it up to my wife to decide who's in and who's not. That's a fight that I definitely would take a loss on.
Jan 8, 2010 3:01pm
B

BlueJayRay

Senior Member

106 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:05 PM
I hope your wife and your Mother-in-Law are really close... Once she hits the tansitional labor phase, her language may make even her Uncle George the Coal Miner blush! She may use words that you will need to explain to "Mom." LOL
Jan 8, 2010 3:05pm
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:14 PM
Yeah, I doubt you want to deal with an unhappy birthing lady while the whole thing is going on. You tell her you are the only one that needs to be there, then you don't know what the hell to do and it isn't going to be fun. For my last child, we invited both of our moms, who helped hold the legs while I cued up the theme music for my sons arrival. Good times, good times.
Jan 8, 2010 3:14pm
J

jmog

Senior Member

6,567 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:25 PM
If my wife had our 3 sons regular (all 3 c-sections) I would have done whatever she wanted, me in there, her mom in there, the janitor in there, etc.

If you've never had a wife go through labor pains and the "fun stuff" that comes from them during it, you wouldn't understand.

Do whatever she wants.
Jan 8, 2010 3:25pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

Son of the Sun

18,820 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:35 PM
1. Allow mother-in-law into delivering room.
2. Go to a bar. Tell someone to text you or something when the thing's hatched.

That's how to handle that business.
Jan 8, 2010 3:35pm
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Nashley25

Member

82 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:36 PM
Thanks for all the adivice and info.

At first I was like no f-ing way is she going to be in there but slowing I am leaning towards whatever the wife wants/needs.
Jan 8, 2010 3:36pm
Cat Food Flambe''s avatar

Cat Food Flambe'

Senior Member

1,230 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:36 PM
Having her mom there sounds entirely reasonable to me. Having half your immediate family in there is another matter altogether.

If you guys think watching a "normal delivery" is a jolt, wait till you get a cook's tour of your wife's lower abdominal cavity during a C-section.
Jan 8, 2010 3:36pm
power i's avatar

power i

Senior Member

1,296 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:39 PM
You should be letting her have whatever she wants. When Mommy's happy, everyone's happy. Just some words of wisdom to live by. And drill that in your kid's head too.
Jan 8, 2010 3:39pm
j_crazy's avatar

j_crazy

7 gram rocks. how i roll.

8,372 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:41 PM
Cat Food Flambe' wrote: If you guys think watching a "normal delivery" is a jolt, wait till you get a cook's tour of your wife's lower abdominal cavity during a C-section.

In my 24.5 years on this earth that is my current worst memory. Followed immediately by the best memory, holding the baby while she screamed her head off and having the doctor tell me "guess she's got good lungs" to which I said "Fuckin A. The best lungs."
Jan 8, 2010 3:41pm
Q

queencitybuckeye

Senior Member

7,117 posts
Jan 8, 2010 3:42 PM
Keebler wrote: Nothing wrong with her mother being there. It's normal.
I disagree on a more macro level. The OP and this child are her immediate family. Her mother became extended family on the day she was married. This in itself may or may not be a hill worth defending, but I don't see how this isn't a preview of additional boundary issues going forward.
Jan 8, 2010 3:42pm