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like_that's avatar

like_that

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Another wedding thread. I had this discussion with a couple friends.

If you are in the wedding party and you are spending a decent amount of $$$ to be a part of the party (travel, bachelor party, suits, etc), do you think you are still obligated to buy the groom/bride a gift? Why or why not?
Apr 10, 2017 12:14pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

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I'll let Con_Alma answer this question first.
Apr 10, 2017 12:17pm
like_that's avatar

like_that

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sleeper;1846770 wrote:I'll let Con_Alma answer this question first.
I'm looking forward to it.
Apr 10, 2017 12:18pm
wildcats20's avatar

wildcats20

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like_that;1846767 wrote:Another wedding thread. I had this discussion with a couple friends.

If you are in the wedding party and you are spending a decent amount of $$$ to be a part of the party (travel, bachelor party, suits, etc), do you think you are still obligated to buy the groom/bride a gift? Why or why not?
Was a groomsmen in a wedding awhile back. Our tuxes were over $200 and we had 2 out of town bachelors parties. I didn't get them anything. Call me cheap, call me whatever you want. But don't expect me to shell out hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding and then expect me to spend even more money on something you will likely return or not ever use.

Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.
Apr 10, 2017 12:32pm
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wildcats20

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And I'm not really sure why I quoted your post lol.
Apr 10, 2017 12:32pm
like_that's avatar

like_that

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wildcats20;1846778 wrote:Was a groomsmen in a wedding awhile back. Our tuxes were over $200 and we had 2 out of town bachelors parties. I didn't get them anything. Call me cheap, call me whatever you want. But don't expect me to shell out hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding and then expect me to spend even more money on something you will likely return or not ever use.

Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.
100% agree with you. If they get butt hurt for not receiving a gift after spending that money on their wedding, that tells all I need to know more about the groom/bride. Also 100% agree about renting tuxes. I had to rent a $300 tux for a formal wedding I was best man in (formal attire does not fit the couple's personality or taste, but that's another story). I would much rather purchase a suit for that much or more and be able to keep it.
Apr 10, 2017 12:41pm
wildcats20's avatar

wildcats20

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like_that;1846784 wrote:100% agree with you. If they get butt hurt for not receiving a gift after spending that money on their wedding, that tells all I need to know more about the groom/bride. Also 100% agree about renting tuxes. I had to rent a $300 tux for a formal wedding I was best man in (formal attire does not fit the couple's personality or taste, but that's another story). I would much rather purchase a suit for that much or more and be able to keep it.
Yeah, I told the groom they weren't getting anything(as did most of the groomsmen). He was cool about it and understood, not sure about the bride. She can be a royal bitch, so I'm sure she was pissed.
Apr 10, 2017 12:43pm
Fab4Runner's avatar

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I have been in three weddings and gave each couple a gift. Two of the three paid for all or part of our dresses, but I did have to pay for shoes, hair, makeup and bachelorette parties. Still, they got cash from me.

I had seven bridesmaids in my wedding and all of them got us gifts. I would not have been upset if they didn't, but that never happened. I paid for hair and makeup for my girls, and their dresses were fairly inexpensive. All of the groomsmen got "us" gifts as well...although several chipped in and got my husband a new driver, which was just fine with me.
Apr 10, 2017 1:05pm
Automatik's avatar

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Good question, I would assume you still have to get a gift.

I'm in a wedding in April and the groom is guilt tripping me about not going to the bachelor party. It's in Lake Norman, NC. I politely told him that I just can't swing it. My sister is getting married in August. I can't take that many days off and financially I just don't want to do it. He's actually pissed about it. The nerve of people in these situations blows my fucking mind.

This is what's expected of me....

Flight to bachelor party
Cabin rental
Boat rental

Flight to Columbus for wedding
Hotel
Tux rental
Gift

Then you factor in vacation days and other random expenses. It's absurd.
Apr 10, 2017 1:08pm
Fab4Runner's avatar

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Automatik;1846789 wrote:Good question, I would assume you still have to get a gift.

I'm in a wedding in April and the groom is guilt tripping me about not going to the bachelor party. It's in Lake Norman, NC. I politely told him that I just can't swing it. My sister is getting married in August. I can't take that many days off and financially I just don't want to do it. He's actually pissed about it. The nerve of people in these situations blows my fucking mind.

This is what's expected of me....

Flight to bachelor party
Cabin rental
Boat rental

Flight to Columbus for wedding
Hotel
Tux rental
Gift

Then you factor in vacation days and other random expenses. It's absurd.
Yeah, I will never understand that. My party was in the city I live in, but two of my girls still couldn't make it. Not a big deal! I would never guilt someone into something like that...especially when it's out of town and will cost a lot of money.
Apr 10, 2017 1:11pm
wildcats20's avatar

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I don't understand the people who get upset when someone says no for something wedding related. Especially when money is involved. Get over yourself people.
Apr 10, 2017 1:35pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

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NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.
Apr 10, 2017 2:24pm
wildcats20's avatar

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Belly35;1846803 wrote:NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.
Almost an answer to the question. Almost.
Apr 10, 2017 2:28pm
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Automatik

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Belly is on one today. :laugh:
Apr 10, 2017 2:47pm
Fab4Runner's avatar

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Belly35;1846803 wrote:NO... Wedding a waste of time, money and effort... for everyone...
Simple wedding, nice party... reap the gifts and cash... dont piss away that $10,000 plus and have a nice down payment on a house for the future.
Do you boycott all weddings? Or do you go but not give gifts?
Apr 10, 2017 2:48pm
SportsAndLady's avatar

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It's more than $10k for a wedding these days, belly lol
Apr 10, 2017 4:23pm
justincredible's avatar

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wildcats20;1846778 wrote: Oh and to everyone...stop making your groomsmen RENT a tux/suit. It's the biggest waste of money ever. Go to a nice men's store and have suits/tuxes to purchase. I was in a wedding several years ago and we bought our suits. Yeah it was somewhat pricey, but at least I didn't have to return it the next morning.
For our wedding, we just had our groomsmen buy a black 2-button suit. I got mine at Macy's on sale for way less than renting a tux.
Apr 10, 2017 5:14pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

Elderly Intellectual

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I answered the question .... No
10,000 PLUS... Means more that 10,000 from a little to a lot
i have three daughter... I have already seem the money for big weddings wasted but for the love of my daughter I do what I have to do...And I have one coming up very soon... This one in Chicago... Oh boy $$$$$$....
Apr 10, 2017 5:49pm
Belly35's avatar

Belly35

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Fab4Runner;1846810 wrote:Do you boycott all weddings? Or do you go but not give gifts?
I always give a gift ...larger Ricer the perfect gift

no newly wedded couple has one, even old people don't have one, many are clueless of what it is, very useful, a good one last for ever, easy to store and keep, quick and easy to use....
Apr 10, 2017 5:51pm
Heretic's avatar

Heretic

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Who wouldn't want a large Ricer?
Apr 10, 2017 5:56pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

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The idea of a wedding gift should go the way of a dinosaur. It's absurd. I usually go the donate to a charity in their name aspect. If they try and guilt trip me, they look like dicks.

Sidebar- Do ppl still have wedding showers? My mom got invited to one recently for a friend of her's daughter. The couple has lived together for 4 yrs, and are now getting married. WTF? The idea of a wedding shower back in the day sort of made sense. Ppl historically lived with their parents and didn't have things like plates, etc...Now, GTFO
Apr 10, 2017 6:59pm
wildcats20's avatar

wildcats20

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I think a lot more people are doing couple showers. I've never been invited to one and my gf has gone to a couple but they've mostly been relatives.
Apr 10, 2017 7:12pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

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wildcats20;1846854 wrote:I think a lot more people are doing couple showers. I've never been invited to one and my gf has gone to a couple but they've mostly been relatives.
Interesting, why?
Apr 10, 2017 7:16pm
SportsAndLady's avatar

SportsAndLady

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Commander of Awesome;1846851 wrote:The idea of a wedding gift should go the way of a dinosaur. It's absurd. I usually go the donate to a charity in their name aspect. If they try and guilt trip me, they look like dicks.

Sidebar- Do ppl still have wedding showers? My mom got invited to one recently for a friend of her's daughter. The couple has lived together for 4 yrs, and are now getting married. WTF? The idea of a wedding shower back in the day sort of made sense. Ppl historically lived with their parents and didn't have things like plates, etc...Now, GTFO
LOL you donate to charity instead of giving the bride and groom a gift?

You're a fucking douchebag lol
Apr 10, 2017 7:37pm
Fab4Runner's avatar

Fab4Runner

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Girls don't even like going to wedding or baby showers. I cannot imagine inviting dudes to one of them. Sounds terrible.
Apr 10, 2017 7:38pm