Wife and I were having this discussion about respective Christmas bonuses. One party feels that the bonus money belongs to receiving party, while the other party feels, like all other earned money, it should be discussed and spent accordingly, be it bills/debt/etc. It's not a heated argument or anything between us.

What are your thoughts?

depends entirely how your regular income is divided up.

But if ur fighting over something trivial like bonus pay then u should take that as a warning sign

MontyBrunswick;1770635 wrote:
But if ur fighting over something trivial like bonus pay then u should take that as a warning sign

Reading is hard.

ernest_t_bass;1770631 wrote: It's not a heated argument or anything between

ernest_t_bass;1770637 wrote:Reading is hard.

if it wasn't then u wouldn't have made a thread to rationalize your argument

If you're paycheck to paycheck or tight on disposable income, and you use your bonus on personal stuff, you're kind of a piece of shit.

If you are good on bills and other expenses and you get a little extra cash and want to spend that on a personal trip/purchase, then I don't see why not.

Our finances are completely separate for the time being, so my bonus was mine and his was his. After we're married, who knows.

I spent mine on a mix of bills, Christmas gifts, and a couple small things I wanted.

...bonus is shared like everything else after 35years with the Mrs.

We usually just split the jelly of the month club equally.

4cards;1770649 wrote:...bonus is shared like everything else after 12 years with the Mrs.

This. She doesn't work, so she gets no other bonus.

What would a judge say? More than likely that the bonus came to you, but its boths money.

ernest_t_bass;1770631 wrote:Wife and I were having this discussion about respective Christmas bonuses. One party feels that the bonus money belongs to receiving party, while the other party feels, like all other earned money, it should be discussed and spent accordingly, be it bills/debt/etc. It's not a heated argument or anything between us.

What are your thoughts?

lol. Obviously we see who wears the pants in the relationship.

IOW - stfu etb and give the bitch what she wants.

Jesus, Said, you're the fucking worst.

Said still being a POS and using a third username? Shocker!!!

When the wife and I first married … everything we earned was shared into one checking and saving accounts and spending was also planned and talked about. Very open communication.

As we grew in our professions and the income increased, we altered the plan.
I would be the provider all bills, mortgage, car payments, food, clothing (within reason) credit card and we shared the cost of medical/insurance would be handled by me and my income. Her income was in a different account and her income, would handle part of the medical and insurance. She could spend her income as she wanted but we both had to put something into the saving account what we could. I didn’t care what she put into the saving or how she spent her income….. It was hers but the simple rule alway applied .. open communication
When time did get difficult she stepped up above and beyond.
Now I have my accounts and the wife has her own banking account and saving account. We also have a Joint banking and saving and a Family banking / saving account with my daughters.
We don’t spend anything without asking or talking about it first if it cost over a 700.00, (just a simple rule) what we do with our earned money is up to us but we communicate. Many times it a simple phone call .. Hey! I saw this I thinking of buy it.. Really you want a cannon? Where are you going to store it? When will you shoot it? How much care does it require? OK good point ..

Bonus are part to the individual income … use it how the family financial system is structured. If you don’t have a structured money operation plan … That a problem waiting to happen.

Yay said's back

Yay

Money is money, no matter how it is realized. It's just a tool to be used in living out our lives. We treat each penny that comes into our family the same way, no matter how it's obtained.

My wife and I have separate accounts. I get Direct Deposit right into my account, and she keeps all of her money in hers. We have our bills pretty evenly split where I pay for some out of my account and she pays for some out of hers. We each have our own savings account that we contribute to individually. We don't hide purchases from each other (unless it's a gift) and I have a budget tracker Google Doc that we both use to keep track of everything. Since we're pretty open with each other, we almost never fight about money. And even though we keep things separate, there has never been the feeling of "my money" or "her money." It's always been "our money." She helped me pay off a decent chunk of my student loans to close out my debt quicker. So in exchange, I started paying the entire mortgage bill each month so she can put that money back into her savings account.

I think once the baby arrives, I'll probably adjust and start depositing most of my money into our joint account and switch the bills that I pay and have them come out of that account. I'll still keep a small portion of my check for my personal spending and for my savings. But I think our idea of splitting things really only works without kids involved. I think it would start more fights if we were trying to figure out who paid for the last package of diapers rather than just pooling our money together and paying for it out of that. As long as we are both able to save some each month, which we should be able to, we're going to be just fine.

So I guess in a roundabout way, I'm on the side that the bonus money should be discussed...just like all other money made.

I'm actually surprised this is even a debate? Is it typical to have separate finances when you're married?

Con_Alma;1770704 wrote:Money is money, no matter how it is realized. It's just a tool to be used in living out our lives. We treat each penny that comes into our family the same way, no matter how it's obtained.

/sleeper'd ... I mean, /con_alma'd

ZWICK 4 PREZ;1770709 wrote:I'm actually surprised this is even a debate? Is it typical to have separate finances when you're married?

Yes. I'm very surprised when ppl don't actually. Most ppl I know who are married have split finances, and one shared account. Seems to make th emost sense, no reason other than an emotional response to have same account for everything.

ZWICK 4 PREZ;1770709 wrote:I'm actually surprised this is even a debate? Is it typical to have separate finances when you're married?

Me too. I would be surprised if it's "typical"... but it wouldn't be the first time nor last something of this nature surprised me.

Commander of Awesome;1770714 wrote:Yes. I'm very surprised when ppl don't actually. Most ppl I know who are married have split finances, and one shared account. Seems to make th emost sense, no reason other than an emotional response to have same account for everything.

I wouldn't say that. How would managing 3 accounts make it easier than 1?

ZWICK 4 PREZ;1770721 wrote:I wouldn't say that. In what would do managing 3 accounts make it easier than 1?

Pretty easy to manage a checking acct online. That's a horrendous argument to join bank accts IMO.

Commander of Awesome;1770722 wrote:Pretty easy to manage a checking acct online. That's a horrendous argument to join bank accts IMO.

It's still the act of managing 3 accounts vs 1. Easy online or not. Doesn't make any sense to me.

ZWICK 4 PREZ;1770723 wrote:It's still the act of managing 3 accounts vs 1. Easy online or not. Doesn't make any sense to me.

I guess if you're a dumb lazy slob that makes sense. Better hope you don't get divorced, or your wife is also smart with her money. Read/heard too many accounts of where/how that can torpedo a family.