Commander of Awesome;1708194 wrote:I have family in rurual ohio doing this dumbshit all the time. My Cousin is 19 yrs, knocked up and now not going to college. She couldn't be happier. That seems like a prison sentence to me, but to each their own. I think Auto living in NY removes him a bit from the craziness of the rural midwest.

Often it seems that those who married so young and never experience their college years end up doing it at some point later in life. Once my mom went back to school as a non-traditional college student....she changed and it ended her 23 year marriage. For about 5 years she and her gang were basically living version of FRIENDS as she moved from Jackson to Columbus......and since that time ended she's been pretty much miserable.

Ironman92;1708343 wrote:Often it seems that those who married so young and never experience their college years end up doing it at some point later in life. Once my mom went back to school as a non-traditional college student....she changed and it ended her 23 year marriage. For about 5 years she and her gang were basically living version of FRIENDS as she moved from Jackson to Columbus......and since that time ended she's been pretty much miserable.

Miserable how, in what sense?

My mom got divorced 20+ yrs ago, still single, recently retired and is happy as can be. She's very independent and self sufficient. Doesn't mind, and enjoys time to herself. For some people that totally works. I've also seen super extroverts who I bet would be miserable single, or ppl who define themselves by who they're dating. I think we all know ppl who HAVE to be dating someone.

Commander of Awesome;1708346 wrote:Miserable how, in what sense?

My mom got divorced 20+ yrs ago, still single, recently retired and is happy as can be. She's very independent and self sufficient. Doesn't mind, and enjoys time to herself. For some people that totally works. I've also seen super extroverts who I bet would be miserable single, or ppl who define themselves by who they're dating. I think we all know ppl who HAVE to be dating someone.

She just doesn't really have much going on and made a few bad decisions and her employers seem shady to me. She loved Columbus the first 5 or so years but her friends have moved, died, moved on and she is pretty much alone and pretty much paycheck to paycheck. She also had her younger sister up there near...but tragically witnessed her being shot in Westerville...her mom died soon thereafter and just on Jan 1st she lost her twin sister. She can't keep a relationship because she's too picky and she knows she should've stayed with Dad and Dad has remarried and is really doing great. She wants to come back but always backs out due to she didn't feel she can replace the salary she makes at age 56. My sister and I tell her it will work and be fine but she won't pull the trigger. I feel bad for her but she has to do make the move.

Also bad she graduated to be a teacher but never went through with it.....definitely would've been an administrator for 10+ years and would only have 7 years left. I don't think she'll ever be able to retire.

My parents never divorced and have been married for almost 35 years. My mom got knocked up with my oldest sister, so they married for that reason. They are miserable as hell but stayed married for our sake. Which we would have prefered they marry instead of listening to the constant arguing when dad was home. We are all grown and moved out, but they say fuck it, they've been married this long, why change it now?

I have been married 10 years. Been with her for almost 12 years. Married when I 22. We have a 13 year old son. Don't regret any of it for a minute. It's been rocky at times, but we always work it out. She's a good woman, good wife, and a good mother, so I got lucky. Looking forward to the next 10 years.

You know what else if I had to do it all over again, I'd be reluctant to date a girl who has been through divorce in one form or another. My first serious relationship was with a girl whose dad had an affair that ended in divorce, and she had some serious trust issues because of it. I also dated someone who had been divorced because her husband cheated on her (that was my mistake - should have avoided that woman like I avoid cancer).
I'm not claiming all women that go through divorces related to cheating are nutty, but it's tough being in a relationship with the ones who can't separate the past from the present.

Commander of Awesome;1708340 wrote:ETB has always been pretty damn honest.

I was saying this thread was full of honesty and that ETB made the most mature post I've read in a long time.

I'm coming up on 1 year of marriage, and I feel like it's been pretty easy. I'm 26, she's 25, and we're great together. I think it also helps that we left the small town we're from, we got away from ex's, high school friends, things like that. We're very comfortable financially, get to do nearly anything we want socially and still have time to just relax at home and enjoy each other's company.


I think the biggest downfall of a marriage might be people rushing into it and not being 100% sure that the person they're marrying is "the one". I couldn't imagine life without my wife.

Ironman92;1708406 wrote:I was saying this thread was full of honesty and that ETB made the most mature post I've read in a long time.

Which?

ernest_t_bass;1708181 wrote:Been married for 6.5 years. The longest 6.5 years of my life, but we keep trucking away, working on it. We've reached a point where it's time for professional help b/c our selfish tendencies are affecting how we act towards each other, and it affects our children. Our plan is to work this out; for each other, and for our children.

ernest_t_bass;1708438 wrote:Which?

Your initial post on this thread

Commander of Awesome;1708340 wrote:ETB has always been pretty damn honest.

Not gonna lie... it's a flaw.

ernest_t_bass;1708445 wrote:Not gonna lie... it's a flaw.

Lol, you're not going to lie about being honest?

FatHobbit;1708460 wrote:Lol, you're not going to lie about being honest?

I see what you did there.

My parents are divorced. Never really bothered me or effected me too much but can definitely be a royal pain in the ass at times.

If i ever got divorced I don't think I'd re marry.

Raw Dawgin' it;1708552 wrote:If i ever got divorced I don't think I'd re marry.

Without a doubt, this. I'd never want to put myself through this again.

I will have to concur that getting married really young nowadays is just a bad idea. Being in the military and supervising mostly kids, I can say that the majority struggle to keep it together. I'm talking about the 18 to 22 who mostly joined right after high school. Unfortunately getting married in the military you get a housing allowance that's a lot of money, so these young kids do it for the wrong reason. Then they knock up their wives and by the age of 22 they have a family and are pretty miserable and end up hating the military and hate their wives. Get stuck having to re-enlist because they have a family to take care of. Then there is deployment where they go out and bang prostitutes or others in the unit while their wives sit at home wondering what is going on. I've seen it all too often and unfortunately the kids are the ones to suffer with young immature parents.

ernest_t_bass;1708604 wrote:Without a doubt, this. I'd never want to put myself through this again.

Jesus you act like you're being tortured. If it's that bad why not divorce? Because of the kids?

SportsAndLady;1708606 wrote:Jesus you act like you're being tortured. If it's that bad why not divorce? Because of the kids?

LOL, it's not that bad. Marriage is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of work, and we're both willing to do whatever it takes to make sure we get through anything that we face. I love my wife, very much.

I would just never want to do it all over again from scratch.

Parents divorced when I was in 8th grade. Probably had an affect on me for a year, maybe two. Both parents are remarried and seem genuinely happy. They also have a civil relationship with each other and the other's spouse. I'm happy for them, but hopefully I will never have to go through a divorce.

ernest_t_bass;1708608 wrote:Marriage is hard. Really hard. And it takes a lot of work,

No, it's not.

GoChiefs;1708655 wrote:No, it's not.

I'll agree with this. Been married almost 3 years and we rarely have any disagreements. Definitely very little work.

If I say "I am cold" millions of people near the equator would disagree. It would humor me if they didn't consider people lived in different climates.


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rydawg5;1708660 wrote:If I say "I am cold" millions of people near the equator would disagree. It would humor me if they didn't consider people lived in different climates.


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Uhhhh...what?

I've been married for more than 25 years. Marriage is as hard as you make it. It's also as easy and wonderful as you want it to be. Choose your spouse carefully.

I cant believe anyone would say marriage is hard.

GoChiefs;1708655 wrote:No, it's not.

OK, maybe not "hard," but it does take a lot of work. The first few years are harder than the rest.