Divorce

Home Archive Serious Business Divorce
R

rydawg5

Senior Member

2,639 posts
Feb 25, 2015 2:14 PM
thavoice;1708233 wrote:Especially if the kid also loves OSU football.

I am all for compromise and all and dont feel the need to always have to watch the game, but I think when couples start to give up some of the things they enjoy the most then that can create more problems than anything else.

I wouldnt ask my wife to give up some of the things she loves the most, and she shouldnt ask me to give up mine. Unless, of course, it is destructive behavior like always getting blasted, those type of things.

I get the point was poor! I gave him reps for stating that it was dumb. I think that when you can focus your mindset on how important your loved ones are, you can prioritize what you are putting before them.

If you decide to take a 3-hours 3-week 3-month vacation from Sports to prove it to yourself you have the willpower to walk away from whatever you think you are putting your family then you might feel really good about yourself once you did.


Kinda like lent for families if you will.
Feb 25, 2015 2:14pm
Dr Winston O'Boogie's avatar

Dr Winston O'Boogie

Senior Member

1,799 posts
Feb 25, 2015 2:19 PM
My parents never divorced and I have been married 18 years. I am glad divorce didn't happen in either case. I do know people who have divorced and it was probably for the best. I'm just grateful that it isn't me.
Feb 25, 2015 2:19pm
W

wkfan

Senior Member

1,641 posts
Feb 25, 2015 2:26 PM
ernest_t_bass;1708189 wrote:You see it plenty. As a teacher, I witness many HS sweethearts end up getting hitched.
My wife and I did...met in high school, dated all through college, got marries 2 weeks after she graduated (a year after I did).

Going to be 36 years in June...couldn't be happier!
Feb 25, 2015 2:26pm
Z

Zoltan

Senior Member

1,003 posts
Feb 25, 2015 2:46 PM
Commander of Awesome;1708194 wrote:I have family in rurual ohio doing this dumbshit all the time. My Cousin is 19 yrs, knocked up and now not going to college. She couldn't be happier. That seems like a prison sentence to me, but to each their own. I think Auto living in NY removes him a bit from the craziness of the rural midwest.
Or living in the craziness of NY removes him from the sanity of the Midwest? It's all about perspective I guess though, and what makes you happy.

I have also heard that the divorce rate is about 50%, but closer to 15% for people who get married in churches. No idea if that's true though.
Feb 25, 2015 2:46pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:07 PM
ernest_t_bass;1708229 wrote:This is the god damned dumbest thing I've ever read.
Agreed. It'll be a cold day in hell or the SEC winning a legitimate championship before I ever miss an Ohio State kickoff.
Feb 25, 2015 3:07pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:08 PM
wkfan;1708249 wrote:My wife and I did...met in high school, dated all through college, got marries 2 weeks after she graduated (a year after I did).

Going to be 36 years in June...couldn't be poorer!
Fixed.
Feb 25, 2015 3:08pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:09 PM
Zoltan;1708270 wrote:Or living in the craziness of NY removes him from the sanity of the Midwest? It's all about perspective I guess though, and what makes you happy.

I have also heard that the divorce rate is about 50%, but closer to 15% for people who get married in churches. No idea if that's true though.
Nothing like the fear of eternal suffering to keep unhappy people together. Religion is a joke.
Feb 25, 2015 3:09pm
R

rydawg5

Senior Member

2,639 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:11 PM
sleeper;1708282 wrote:Nothing like the fear of eternal suffering to keep unhappy people together. Religion is a joke.
It sounds like 15% of the time, when faced with the option between marriage or hell, people choose hell.
Feb 25, 2015 3:11pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:12 PM
rydawg5;1708284 wrote:It sounds like 15% of the time, when faced with the option between marriage or hell, people choose hell.
Considering hell is entirely made up; I'd chose hell too.
Feb 25, 2015 3:12pm
F

friendfromlowry

Senior Member

6,239 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:13 PM
If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't even attempt a serious relationship until we're both 24+ and/or out of college. IMO, people need those years (and sometimes more) to explore, experiment, and not have to worry about their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Feb 25, 2015 3:13pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:15 PM
friendfromlowry;1708288 wrote:If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't even attempt a serious relationship until we're both 24+ and/or out of college. IMO, people need those years (and sometimes more) to explore, experiment, and not have to worry about their boyfriend/girlfriend.
Amen.
Feb 25, 2015 3:15pm
W

wkfan

Senior Member

1,641 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:37 PM
wkfan;1708249 wrote:My wife and I did...met in high school, dated all through college, got marries 2 weeks after she graduated (a year after I did).

Going to be 36 years in June...couldn't be happier!

....and sleeper is still a douch......
sleeper;1708281 wrote:Fixed.
fixed NOW....there is a reason that you are alone.
Feb 25, 2015 3:37pm
B

bigkahuna

Senior Member

4,454 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:48 PM
I think Auto was saying that you rarely see HS sweethearts get married and actually stay that way these days.

My ex wife's parents divorced after 28 years of marriage because they didn't know what else to do once all of the kids were grown and out of the house.

My gf's parents will be married 43 years this summer I believe and are pretty solid.
Feb 25, 2015 3:48pm
Automatik's avatar

Automatik

Senior Member

14,632 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:54 PM
sleeper;1708195 wrote:Maybe not in NYC, but people in Ohio are sure as shit getting married with kids by 25. It's the east coast vs. midwest mentality.
Definitely. I have friends on multiple kids and even marriages at this point...LOL.

Location definitely has something to do with, but also the time period. Back when my parents were younger getting married in your teens was a common thing. Hell, I can remember looking at my mom's HS yearbook seeing women listing their current and then maiden name.

NYC is a whole different ballgame. People don't give a shit here. You can be immature jackass for as long as you like. I see it all the time, especially in Brooklyn. Mid-40s men and women, dressing anyway they want, partying like maniacs, working service jobs, no fucks given.
Feb 25, 2015 3:54pm
sleeper's avatar

sleeper

Legend

27,879 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:56 PM
wkfan;1708306 wrote:fixed NOW....there is a reason that you are alone.
Lighten up. I'm also not alone; I have 3 girlfriends and they are expensive.
Feb 25, 2015 3:56pm
T

thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:57 PM
Automatik;1708310 wrote:Definitely. I have friends on multiple kids and even marriages at this point...LOL.

Location definitely has something to do with, but also the time period. Back when my parents were younger getting married in your teens was a common thing. Hell, I can remember looking at my mom's HS yearbook seeing women listing their current and then maiden name.

NYC is a whole different ballgame. People don't give a shit here. You can be immature jackass for as long as you like. I see it all the time, especially in Brooklyn. Mid-40s men and women, dressing anyway they want, partying like maniacs, working service jobs, no fucks given.
Isnt that where that supposed video came from of a lady walking around the city all day and getting verbally harassed by so many people?
I honestly couldnt believe what I was hearing. Hell.....many of us men will think that in our minds when we see a woman walk by who looks good (and she wasnt even that great) but to yell it to a woman......nah.
Feb 25, 2015 3:57pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:58 PM
rydawg5;1708222 wrote:Then decide the next OSU football schedule, you will use every Saturday at kickoff as a time to turn off your TV and play with them.
ernest_t_bass;1708229 wrote:This is the god damned dumbest thing I've ever read.
I don't know about giving up OSU football just for the sake of sacrificing something you like, but my daughter started playing soccer at the lowest level when she was 6 and kept playing until she was 14. Invariably almost every game just happened to coincide with an OSU football game. (It might have only been about half of the games but it felt like A LOT) She wasn't very good, but it was good exercise for her and she had a lot of friends on the team. I missed a lot of "important" football games, but it was more important to me to be at her soccer games.
Feb 25, 2015 3:58pm
Automatik's avatar

Automatik

Senior Member

14,632 posts
Feb 25, 2015 3:58 PM
Cat calling is a common thing here, that woman was just attention whoring.

She should do what most do in that situation. Put your headphones in and keep fucking walking.
Feb 25, 2015 3:58pm
T

thavoice

Senior Member

14,376 posts
Feb 25, 2015 4:04 PM
Automatik;1708315 wrote:Cat calling is a common thing here, that woman was just attention whoring.

She should do what most do in that situation. Put your headphones in and keep fucking walking.
Yeah, it seemed like she was doing it for that purpose, but I just couldnt believe they had so little restraint.
Feb 25, 2015 4:04pm
R

rydawg5

Senior Member

2,639 posts
Feb 25, 2015 4:28 PM
FatHobbit;1708313 wrote:I don't know about giving up OSU football just for the sake of sacrificing something you like, but my daughter started playing soccer at the lowest level when she was 6 and kept playing until she was 14. Invariably almost every game just happened to coincide with an OSU football game. (It might have only been about half of the games but it felt like A LOT) She wasn't very good, but it was good exercise for her and she had a lot of friends on the team. I missed a lot of "important" football games, but it was more important to me to be at her soccer games.
What I like about this scenario is there is only 1 path to regret. If you missed the OSU games and went to your daughter's soccer - did you feel any regret you made the wrong decision?

On the flip side, if she never saw her daddy because he was getting hammered in his man-cave cursing at Stanley Jackson because Cooper won't trot Germaine's Ass out on the field - you may wake up one day and think "Why the F did I miss out on her games?"

You made the right decision :)
Feb 25, 2015 4:28pm
HitsRus's avatar

HitsRus

Senior Member

9,206 posts
Feb 25, 2015 5:10 PM
That's not a good example, because no partner in a mutual selfless relationship is going to ask you to give up something you love for something superfluous.
Feb 25, 2015 5:10pm
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Feb 25, 2015 5:50 PM
rydawg5;1708325 wrote:What I like about this scenario is there is only 1 path to regret. If you missed the OSU games and went to your daughter's soccer - did you feel any regret you made the wrong decision?

On the flip side, if she never saw her daddy because he was getting hammered in his man-cave cursing at Stanley Jackson because Cooper won't trot Germaine's Ass out on the field - you may wake up one day and think "Why the F did I miss out on her games?"

You made the right decision :)
It was an easy decision. :)
Feb 25, 2015 5:50pm
Ironman92's avatar

Ironman92

Administrator

49,363 posts
Feb 25, 2015 5:53 PM
Being pretty open in this thread. ETB made the most mature post I've ever seen from him.

I'll play. I'm 40 with a daughter going into grad school (humble brag).....needless to say I was married at 20 and my wife was still a month short of age 19.....in two weeks it will be our 20th.

We moved in with my grandma in January and were married in March....5 months late we are both full-time college students and parents of a newborn and I also worked 40 hours a week at McDonald....the next 2 1/2 years is the same and it was so difficult and tiring. Student teaching nearly killed me.....fast forward and everything has worked out quite well but it took both of us to get through all the difficult times.

The craziest part was that we hadn't been dating real long.
Feb 25, 2015 5:53pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 25, 2015 5:56 PM
thavoice;1708233 wrote: I am all for compromise and all and dont feel the need to always have to watch the game, but I think when couples start to give up some of the things they enjoy the most then that can create more problems than anything else.

I wouldnt ask my wife to give up some of the things she loves the most, and she shouldnt ask me to give up mine. Unless, of course, it is destructive behavior like always getting blasted, those type of things.
Big time. I always SMH at my buddies who get their balls chopped off when they start dating a girl.
Feb 25, 2015 5:56pm
Commander of Awesome's avatar

Commander of Awesome

Senior Pwner

23,151 posts
Feb 25, 2015 5:57 PM
Ironman92;1708337 wrote:Being pretty open in this thread. ETB made the most mature post I've ever seen from him.
ETB has always been pretty damn honest.
Feb 25, 2015 5:57pm