Archive Man executes two teens for breaking into home on Thanksgiving

like_that

Posts: 26,625

Nov 29, 2012 11:38am

GoChiefs;1332642 wrote:Welcome to the club! The beers are in the cooler in front of the front trailer wheels.

*sigh* Does this mean I have watch Nascar and I am assuming the "best" beer we are having is bud light?

SnotBubbles

Posts: 4,492

Nov 29, 2012 11:39am

Victim was hot.

He really has a dreamy smile....

Commander of Awesome

Posts: 23,151

Nov 29, 2012 11:43am

Whoa, they're so threatening! I pulled out my gun and shot the comp screen YEE HAW!!!

like_that

Posts: 26,625

Nov 29, 2012 11:47am

Commander of Awesome;1332664 wrote:Whoa, they're so threatening! I pulled out my gun and shot the comp screen YEE HAW!!!

Yup, because we all know only threatening looking people are actually threatening. I am sure they looked just like their school photos when they broke into the house. :rolleyes:

GoChiefs

Posts: 16,754

Nov 29, 2012 11:51am

like_that;1332646 wrote:*sigh* Does this mean I have watch Nascar and I am assuming the "best" beer we are having is bud light?

NASCAR is mandatory. Bud light? We don't get that high dollar stuff around here man. You trying to be a high class redneck or something? It's Keystone or Coors!

Heretic

Posts: 18,820

Nov 29, 2012 11:55am

Good thing I read this discussion on the legality of the situation. Because if someone ever fucking broke into my place, I was totally gonna put them in their own no-way-out faux-Jigsaw sort of thing.

But now that I'm worried about the legality of extended torture, I'd just shoot 'em in the junk and call the cops while they bleed out.

M

MontyBrunswick

Nov 29, 2012 11:58am

Only in the SEC...

GoChiefs

Posts: 16,754

Nov 29, 2012 12:06pm

Heretic;1332681 wrote:Good thing I read this discussion on the legality of the situation. Because if someone ever fucking broke into my place, I was totally gonna put them in their own no-way-out faux-Jigsaw sort of thing.

But now that I'm worried about the legality of extended torture, I'd just shoot 'em in the junk and call the cops while they bleed out.

But first you have to verify that they are a harm to you while they broke into your own home before you shoot them.

like_that

Posts: 26,625

Nov 29, 2012 12:09pm

GoChiefs;1332693 wrote:But first you have to verify that they are a harm to you while they broke into your own home before you shoot them.

Yes. If you are still confused heretic, ask COA about this verification process. He has an interview process to retrieve this information from each person who breaks into his home.

Heretic

Posts: 18,820

Nov 29, 2012 12:10pm

GoChiefs;1332693 wrote:But first you have to verify that they are a harm to you while they broke into your own home before you shoot them.

At the very least, I'd verify that they are a harm to my stash.

And since I don't regularly get broken into or anything, I'd be able to claim the act of them breaking in was a major shock to my nervous system. Which would lead to my 15 minutes of fame in life being the national outrage caused when I file a civil suit for massive punitive damages against the family/families of the mutilated...I mean deceased...thieves-in-training for the potential shortening of my lifespan due to the traumatic realization that I'm not perfectly safe from attempted crime.

justincredible

Posts: 32,056

Nov 29, 2012 12:10pm

like_that;1332696 wrote:Yes. If you are still confused heretic, COA about this verification process. He has an interview process to retrieve this information from each person who breaks into his home.

"Sir. Sir! Before you proceed I'd like to ask you a few questions."

like_that

Posts: 26,625

Nov 29, 2012 12:13pm

justincredible;1332699 wrote:"Sir. Sir! Before you proceed I'd like to ask you a few questions."

"Do you have a gun? Yes? Ok, do you plan to shoot me with this gun? Yes? Hmmm ok, well I am afraid to tell you this sir, but with the info you just provided me, I must shoot you. Sorry for the inconvenience, I hope the rest of your time here is more enjoyable."

E

enigmaax

Posts: 4,511

Nov 29, 2012 12:26pm

SnotBubbles;1332650 wrote:Victim was hot.

Does the law allow for sex with an intruder? I mean, I'm operating under the assumption that if a good looking girl breaks into my home in the middle of the night, she's there to get her vag pounded. Definitely would have banged her before the kill shot.

Tiger2003

Posts: 15,421

Nov 29, 2012 12:27pm

I'm all for it. Come into my home unwanted you won't leave alive.

justincredible

Posts: 32,056

Nov 29, 2012 12:29pm

Tiger2003;1332713 wrote:I'm all for it. Come into my home unwanted you won't leave alive.

So you think the "kill shot" after they were incapacitated was appropriate?

Heretic

Posts: 18,820

Nov 29, 2012 12:35pm

enigmaax;1332712 wrote:Does the law allow for sex with an intruder? I mean, I'm operating under the assumption that if a good looking girl breaks into my home in the middle of the night, she's there to get her vag pounded. Definitely would have banged her before the kill shot.

This is a good point. There are a lot of factors to this case we aren't totally considering.

G

gut

Posts: 15,058

Nov 29, 2012 12:45pm

enigmaax;1332712 wrote:Does the law allow for sex with an intruder? I mean, I'm operating under the assumption that if a good looking girl breaks into my home in the middle of the night, she's there to get her vag pounded. Definitely would have banged her before the kill shot.

Why do you think he dragged her on a tarp down to the basement?

I'm only half-joking. Would not surprise me given some of the other disturbing elements of this case.

Enforcer

Posts: 2,140

Nov 29, 2012 1:19pm

If someone breaks into Your house You dont assume they will do You no harm, You assume they are there to hurt hurt You. Shoot to kill not shoot to wound.

Commander of Awesome

Posts: 23,151

Nov 29, 2012 1:21pm

gut;1332726 wrote:Why do you think he dragged her on a tarp down to the basement?

I'm only half-joking. Would not surprise me given some of the other disturbing elements of this case.

This guy is a redneck, he wouldn't have sex with an attractive female. He'd bang the farm animal first.

SnotBubbles

Posts: 4,492

Nov 29, 2012 1:25pm

Raping intruders is only legal in 13 of the states in the US. Unfortunately, Ohio is not one of them.

If it were....I'd set out collard greens, fried chicken and grape faygo in my bay window and hope a bunch of big black guys break in...

Oh the surprise on their faces when I greet them with a loaded **** in their face.

justincredible

Posts: 32,056

Nov 29, 2012 1:40pm

SnotBubbles;1332755 wrote:Raping intruders is only legal in 13 of the states in the US. Unfortunately, Ohio is not one of them.

If it were....I'd set out collard greens, fried chicken and grape faygo in my bay window and hope a bunch of big black guys break in...

Oh the surprise on their faces when I greet them with a loaded **** in their face.

Dude.

G

gut

Posts: 15,058

Nov 29, 2012 1:45pm

SnotBubbles;1332755 wrote: Oh the surprise on their faces when I greet them with a loaded **** in their face.

You're going to bukkake them?

I

I Wear Pants

Posts: 16,223

Nov 29, 2012 1:50pm

Enforcer;1332749 wrote:If someone breaks into Your house You dont assume they will do You no harm, You assume they are there to hurt hurt You. Shoot to kill not shoot to wound.

Perhaps, but this guy failed to kill them and then decided that instead of doing the morally correct and lawful thing that he was then going to play executioner and in doing so he made himself a murderer. Just because someone breaks into your home doesn't mean whatever you do to them is lawful.

Tiger2003

Posts: 15,421

Nov 29, 2012 1:50pm

justincredible;1332715 wrote:So you think the "kill shot" after they were incapacitated was appropriate?

Was it appropriate for them to break into his home?

SportsAndLady

Posts: 35,632

Nov 29, 2012 1:52pm

Sooo snot. Is all about the interraccial guy on guys b
reverse bukkake?

Shit. Got. Weird.