Full Body Cleanse

Serious Business Backup 63 replies 887 views
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Jan 3, 2012 2:19pm
COA/Like_that... see, you two douche bags possibly just talked me out of doing a cleanse. I will start with fiber. As I stated, I get plenty of exercise this time of year, so that will not be an issue.

http://life.gaiam.com/article/10-ways-detoxify-your-body
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Jan 3, 2012 2:21pm
ernest_t_bass;1036879 wrote:Anyone ever do a full body cleanse or a colon cleanse? If so, what are your recommendations? I did an "Evercleanse" (http://www.evercleanse.com/) before, but I have no idea of the results b/c it was right when I quit drinking for a year, which gives you the shits anyway.

I'm probably looking at $30 max, if anyone has any ideas.
Easiest and cheapest, Epsom Salts. 2 tsp to 8 oz of water, and let the fun begin. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, because of the dehydration affects of salt.
LJ's avatar
LJ
Posts: 16,351
Jan 3, 2012 2:23pm
se-alum;1036942 wrote:Easiest and cheapest, Epsom Salts. 2 tsp to 8 oz of water, and let the fun begin. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, because of the dehydration affects of salt.
Yeah, and that's the stupid shit doctors warn against doing :laugh:
M
MontyBrunswick
Jan 3, 2012 2:25pm
There was an episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit on this. It was comical.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Jan 3, 2012 2:29pm
A shower is usually the easiest way to cleanse your whole body.
GoChiefs's avatar
GoChiefs
Posts: 16,754
Jan 3, 2012 2:30pm
justincredible;1036953 wrote:A shower is usually the easiest way to cleanse your whole body.
Who the hell did you lose a bet to this time???
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Jan 3, 2012 2:31pm
LJ;1036946 wrote:Yeah, and that's the stupid shit doctors warn against doing :laugh:
Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
E
enigmaax
Posts: 4,511
Jan 3, 2012 2:37pm
se-alum;1036958 wrote:Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
Just sharing needles and unprotected sex. Because clearly doctors have incorrectly evaluated the risk versus reward.
LJ's avatar
LJ
Posts: 16,351
Jan 3, 2012 2:38pm
se-alum;1036958 wrote:Do you not do any of the things doctors warn against?
I don't like doing things that cause mass dehydration and strain on your insides like that.
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Jan 3, 2012 2:56pm
LJ;1036971 wrote:I don't like doing things that cause mass dehydration and strain on your insides like that.
It's pretty easy to keep yourself hydrated, it's not like he's gonna be doing any strenuous activities during this. Also, I've never known the shits to be a strain on the insides.
LJ's avatar
LJ
Posts: 16,351
Jan 3, 2012 2:59pm
se-alum;1036993 wrote:It's pretty easy to keep yourself hydrated, it's not like he's gonna be doing any strenuous activities during this. Also, I've never known the shits to be a strain on the insides.
It's causing your instestines to go through massive convulsions. And it will most definitely dehydrate you for a time period. Even if you take in fluid the whole time, there is a time period where that fluid is just gonna pass right through you obviously.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Jan 3, 2012 3:11pm
I'm just going to mix Metamucil with Epsom Salts.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Jan 3, 2012 3:14pm
ernest_t_bass;1037002 wrote:I'm just going to mix Metamucil with Epsom Salts.
I've heard cyanide also works.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Jan 3, 2012 3:21pm
justincredible;1037006 wrote:I've heard cyanide also works.
Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Jan 3, 2012 3:22pm
ernest_t_bass;1037012 wrote:Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
Just passing along what I've heard.
DeyDurkie5's avatar
DeyDurkie5
Posts: 11,324
Jan 3, 2012 3:23pm
ernest_t_bass;1037012 wrote:Justin, cyanide would kill me. It's poison. Why would you want me to take poison? Do you want me to die? That wouldn't be very nice of you, if you want me to die.
snotbubbles sperm
Heretic's avatar
Heretic
Posts: 18,820
Jan 3, 2012 3:27pm
DeyDurkie5;1037016 wrote:snotbubbles sperm
Too much sperm is why he needs the full body cleanse!
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Jan 3, 2012 3:42pm
Heretic;1037019 wrote:Too much sperm is why he needs the full body cleanse!

Inorite!
SnotBubbles's avatar
SnotBubbles
Posts: 4,492
Jan 3, 2012 4:01pm
DeyDurkie5;1037016 wrote:snotbubbles sperm
1_beast's avatar
1_beast
Posts: 5,642
Jan 3, 2012 4:32pm
THE4RINGZ;1036933 wrote:I ate too much pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day, that seemed to clean out my colon Monday, and I think I only paid $1.79 for the bag of kraut.

This
like_that;1036935 wrote:Try excercising and eating natural foods that are high in fiber. Body cleansed.
This

and....

This

Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Jan 3, 2012 4:45pm
dlazz;1036949 wrote:There was an episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit on this. It was comical.
This was a great episode!
said_aouita's avatar
said_aouita
Posts: 8,532
Jan 3, 2012 5:25pm
Do you ever fast? Go an entire day without food, only water?
_____________________________________________________


How about this craziness?

  • The Master Cleanse
    • There are a number of ways to naturally flush out your system. The most well-known may be the Master Cleanse, also known as the lemonade diet or the maple syrup fast. The Master Cleanse was created by Stanley Burroughs in 1941 but really became popular in recent years as celebrities used it to lose weight quickly and spread the word. Beyoncé Knowles lost more than 20 pounds for her role in "Dreamgirls" by using the Master Cleanse, and Jared Leto reportedly lost the 62 pounds he gained to play convicted murderer Mark David Chapman by using this method.
      The Master Cleanse was not originally meant to be a weight-loss plan, however. It was designed as a natural way to do a full-body detox.
      You can do the Master Cleanse for three, seven, 10 or more days. The instructions are simple: For whatever period of time you choose, you consume nothing but a drink made of fresh lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water. Some directions for the Master Cleanse also recommend drinking a saltwater mixture in the morning or evening as an additional way to flush out your system.
    Liver and Gallbladder Flush

    • If you have gallstones and want to specifically target your liver and gallbladder you can do the apple juice flush. This is a seven-day liver and gallstone detox program. Like the Master Cleanse, it is a simple diet using fresh ingredients.
      To do the gallbladder flush, eat four to six apples and drink four to five glasses of organic, unfiltered apple juice for the first six days. You can continue eating regular meals, as well, although some people fast from all other food while they follow it. Each night before bed, you consume olive oil, lemon juice and water. Lie on your right side as you sleep for best results. On the seventh day repeat the process but add a morning enema to your routine*. This not only detoxes your liver and gallbladder but, if you have gallstones, they'll be expelled. * Sure 609 would volunteer to help on this.
[LEFT]
[/LEFT]
se-alum's avatar
se-alum
Posts: 13,948
Jan 3, 2012 6:39pm
said_aouita;1037120 wrote:Do you ever fast? Go an entire day without food, only water?
_____________________________________________________


How about this craziness?

  • The Master Cleanse
    • There are a number of ways to naturally flush out your system. The most well-known may be the Master Cleanse, also known as the lemonade diet or the maple syrup fast. The Master Cleanse was created by Stanley Burroughs in 1941 but really became popular in recent years as celebrities used it to lose weight quickly and spread the word. Beyoncé Knowles lost more than 20 pounds for her role in "Dreamgirls" by using the Master Cleanse, and Jared Leto reportedly lost the 62 pounds he gained to play convicted murderer Mark David Chapman by using this method.
      The Master Cleanse was not originally meant to be a weight-loss plan, however. It was designed as a natural way to do a full-body detox.
      You can do the Master Cleanse for three, seven, 10 or more days. The instructions are simple: For whatever period of time you choose, you consume nothing but a drink made of fresh lemon juice, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and water. Some directions for the Master Cleanse also recommend drinking a saltwater mixture in the morning or evening as an additional way to flush out your system.
    Liver and Gallbladder Flush

    • If you have gallstones and want to specifically target your liver and gallbladder you can do the apple juice flush. This is a seven-day liver and gallstone detox program. Like the Master Cleanse, it is a simple diet using fresh ingredients.
      To do the gallbladder flush, eat four to six apples and drink four to five glasses of organic, unfiltered apple juice for the first six days. You can continue eating regular meals, as well, although some people fast from all other food while they follow it. Each night before bed, you consume olive oil, lemon juice and water. Lie on your right side as you sleep for best results. On the seventh day repeat the process but add a morning enema to your routine*. This not only detoxes your liver and gallbladder but, if you have gallstones, they'll be expelled. * Sure 609 would volunteer to help on this.
[LEFT]
[/LEFT]
There was an episode of Weeds where the guy was doing that Master Cleanse.
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Jan 3, 2012 6:49pm
So you are going to pay for something that will make you shit your brains out to feel better??? Might as well get a ton of taco bell, enjoy it then shit your brains out! I call it the taco bell cleanse and the cost will depend on how much food you order!
Fab1b's avatar
Fab1b
Posts: 12,949
Jan 3, 2012 8:42pm
That pic always makes me LOL