Stupid Facebook Statuses (of YOUR friends)

Serious Business Backup 79 replies 2,517 views
thePITman's avatar
thePITman
Posts: 3,867
Sep 9, 2011 10:05am
Post statuses your friends post on Facebook. (let's try to stay away from Lamebook stuff)

I saw this one today from a friend on Facebook (an overweight 45 year old woman with terrible hygiene):
I REAL NEED A GOOD SINGEL MAN BETWEEN AGE 38 &55. ANYBODY KNOW SOMEONE IN THAT RANGE LET ME KNOW
Nothing screams "I'm desperate and incompetent" like an all-caps status full of spelling and grammar mistakes, dripping with desperateness (I looked it up, and desperateness is a word).
Curly J's avatar
Curly J
Posts: 7,282
Sep 9, 2011 10:09am
Maybe she'll let the SINGEL MAN PIIHB ???
SnotBubbles's avatar
SnotBubbles
Posts: 4,492
Sep 9, 2011 10:18am
Adopted a +1 year old beagle today from the Defiance County Humane Shelter. Surprised the girls, Joda bawled, she was so excited. Angie got to pick his name... Redick. Named after her favorite player, JJ Redick. He's already hogging all the balls, and won't let Woody have a shot
The Packers are good at sports.
I just spent the last 30 minutes walking around town looking for a loose dog, only to find him back at the house when I return, running from me like crazy. #Fun
All of this guy's posts are idiotic.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Sep 9, 2011 10:21am
This from one of my old softball players (a bigger girl) that graduated a couple years ago:
And you wonder why I broke up with you! Idiot!
She is CONSTANTLY writing dramatic things about her ex, and it is annoying.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Sep 9, 2011 10:23am
I'm pretty sure McDonald's gave me the good stuff this morning and not my decaff. Considering I quit caffeine about 2 years ago, this is going to be a long day....
Work on a Sunday (on a Holiday Weekend)...kudos to the genius making a bid due on the day after Labor Day. Kudos to you, genius. Kudos. I hope you're enjoying your holiday weekend.
I-L-L!
I caughts me a blue lizzy in a mulch pile.
On This Day In 2009 - Matt Hull "wishes my yard was emo so it would cut itself." Oh how funny I am... :)
The list goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on.
E
enigmaax
Posts: 4,511
Sep 9, 2011 10:29am
thePITman;888775 wrote:Post statuses your friends post on Facebook. (let's try to stay away from Lamebook stuff)

I saw this one today from a friend on Facebook (an overweight 45 year old woman with terrible hygiene):



Nothing screams "I'm desperate and incompetent" like an all-caps status full of spelling and grammar mistakes, dripping with desperateness (I looked it up, and desperateness is a word).
Sounds like PITman's girlfriend broke up with him and he's posting his FB retaliations on OC instead.
Commander of Awesome's avatar
Commander of Awesome
Posts: 23,151
Sep 9, 2011 10:39am
[h=6]Dear Frat Monster parked in TWO SPACES of the LAW CENTER ONLY parking lot: 1. Little else is as immediately unattractive as a guy who cannot park well. 2. If you cannot park your oversized, jacked up truck properly, GET A SMALLER ONE.
Sincerely,[/h]
She always post idiotic soap box rants in the form of letters. Another pet peeve.
Commander of Awesome's avatar
Commander of Awesome
Posts: 23,151
Sep 9, 2011 10:40am
[h=6]<H6 class=uiStreamMessage data-ft='{"type":1}'>Fire alarm going off .. we all cold outside. Good start to the morning</H6>[/h]
SMH
Commander of Awesome's avatar
Commander of Awesome
Posts: 23,151
Sep 9, 2011 10:41am
[h=6]"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited / But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded / That for me it isn't over"

Obviously for me I relate this to friendship instead of a relationship. Still yearning to reconnect after years of being apart but knowing it'll never happen. Even though I dream about reconnecting with her, that everything will be fine, that we could still be friends again, that no time would have passed by...I just[/h]
Best for last
E
enigmaax
Posts: 4,511
Sep 9, 2011 10:48am
Had this one today:
I actually like Obama.
Boom! De-friend.
like_that's avatar
like_that
Posts: 26,625
Sep 9, 2011 10:49am
Commander of Awesome;888799 wrote:She always post idiotic soap box rants in the form of letters. Another pet peeve.
+1, GTFO with the letter bs.
THE4RINGZ's avatar
THE4RINGZ
Posts: 16,816
Sep 9, 2011 10:51am
headphones on, listening to kesha and cruising to the weekend. #noshame
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Sep 9, 2011 11:09am
THE4RINGZ;888817 wrote:headphones on, listening to kesha and cruising to the weekend. #noshame
That guy has the worst statuses.
justincredible's avatar
justincredible
Posts: 32,056
Sep 9, 2011 11:10am
I don't see many bad status updates because after 1 or 2 bad ones (or excessive updating) I'll either de-friend or block the person.
K
ksig489
Posts: 943
Sep 9, 2011 11:11am
I hate anyone who posts song lyrics as a status.
like_that's avatar
like_that
Posts: 26,625
Sep 9, 2011 11:13am
These type of statuses are the worst, especially when it comes from a guy (no it isn't darby):

"You never relied on me knowing that I used to deeply care for you. But you ignored that. So if you are stuck roadside with no help, and I happen to see you, what do you suggest is the appropriate action I take. By the way, when I stop caring, you dont exist. Consider that too"

"When I lean in to kiss you, you turn your head. When I want to study together, your busy. When I need someone to put this weight on, you cant handle the pressure. So even when I try to nurture you physically, mentally and emotionally im still not enough. Maybe the prob isnt me like i thought..."

"After a discussion and reevaluation I was wrong. What reason would a woman have to show you that you deserve HER kinder side if I pretend I don't have one myself? But The key is a grown woman would never make a Man feel like we have to be aholes to begin with.
So I think the issue isn't the women we deal with....its the fact we're not dealing with WOMEN to begin with"
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Sep 9, 2011 11:18am
like_that;888871 wrote:These type of statuses are the worst, especially when it comes from a guy (no it isn't darby):

"You never relied on me knowing that I used to deeply care for you. But you ignored that. So if you are stuck roadside with no help, and I happen to see you, what do you suggest is the appropriate action I take. By the way, when I stop caring, you dont exist. Consider that too"

"When I lean in to kiss you, you turn your head. When I want to study together, your busy. When I need someone to put this weight on, you cant handle the pressure. So even when I try to nurture you physically, mentally and emotionally im still not enough. Maybe the prob isnt me like i thought..."

"After a discussion and reevaluation I was wrong. What reason would a woman have to show you that you deserve HER kinder side if I pretend I don't have one myself? But The key is a grown woman would never make a Man feel like we have to be aholes to begin with.
So I think the issue isn't the women we deal with....its the fact we're not dealing with WOMEN to begin with"
Hang in there, darby.
Commander of Awesome's avatar
Commander of Awesome
Posts: 23,151
Sep 9, 2011 11:19am
like_that;888871 wrote:These type of statuses are the worst, especially when it comes from a guy (no it isn't darby):

"You never relied on me knowing that I used to deeply care for you. But you ignored that. So if you are stuck roadside with no help, and I happen to see you, what do you suggest is the appropriate action I take. By the way, when I stop caring, you dont exist. Consider that too"

"When I lean in to kiss you, you turn your head. When I want to study together, your busy. When I need someone to put this weight on, you cant handle the pressure. So even when I try to nurture you physically, mentally and emotionally im still not enough. Maybe the prob isnt me like i thought..."

"After a discussion and reevaluation I was wrong. What reason would a woman have to show you that you deserve HER kinder side if I pretend I don't have one myself? But The key is a grown woman would never make a Man feel like we have to be aholes to begin with.
So I think the issue isn't the women we deal with....its the fact we're not dealing with WOMEN to begin with"
Could easily be Crynasty with his incessant "but what did I do?!!!" QQing.
OneBuckeye's avatar
OneBuckeye
Posts: 5,888
Sep 9, 2011 11:22am
Vote no on issue 2 and vote against close minded government
Defriend.
FatHobbit's avatar
FatHobbit
Posts: 8,651
Sep 9, 2011 11:26am
I frackin love Obama! (to anyone who doesn't like this... your comments are not welcome) :)
FatHobbit's avatar
FatHobbit
Posts: 8,651
Sep 9, 2011 11:27am
"Wishing I could do more!"

I don't know what the fuck she is talking about and I hate when people fish for comments like that.
like_that's avatar
like_that
Posts: 26,625
Sep 9, 2011 11:28am
FatHobbit;888891 wrote:"Wishing I could do more!"

I don't know what the fuck she is talking about and I hate when people fish for comments like that.
Good point. Reps.
wes_mantooth's avatar
wes_mantooth
Posts: 17,977
Sep 9, 2011 11:29am
All my statuses are idiotic.
ernest_t_bass's avatar
ernest_t_bass
Posts: 24,984
Sep 9, 2011 11:30am
FatHobbit;888891 wrote:"Wishing I could do more!"

I don't know what the fuck she is talking about and I hate when people fish for comments like that.
Almost passive-aggressive'ish.
E
enigmaax
Posts: 4,511
Sep 9, 2011 11:30am
like_that;888871 wrote:These type of statuses are the worst, especially when it comes from a guy (no it isn't darby):

"You never relied on me knowing that I used to deeply care for you. But you ignored that. So if you are stuck roadside with no help, and I happen to see you, what do you suggest is the appropriate action I take. By the way, when I stop caring, you dont exist. Consider that too"

"When I lean in to kiss you, you turn your head. When I want to study together, your busy. When I need someone to put this weight on, you cant handle the pressure. So even when I try to nurture you physically, mentally and emotionally im still not enough. Maybe the prob isnt me like i thought..."

"After a discussion and reevaluation I was wrong. What reason would a woman have to show you that you deserve HER kinder side if I pretend I don't have one myself? But The key is a grown woman would never make a Man feel like we have to be aholes to begin with.
So I think the issue isn't the women we deal with....its the fact we're not dealing with WOMEN to begin with"
Yep, I had read this nonsense today:
I'm a lover, not a fighter. But I will fight for my love
When you have had/experienced the best then why would you settle for something less? Well I refuse to be satisfied with something that is not as good as what I've had in the past. Some things are worth the wait, some things are worth the effort
Dude got dumped. At least one of his buddies called him on it:
Dude! That is so GAY! Walk it off man get back in the game.