Steel Valley Football;777472 wrote:Except in the sixth grade all the other kids had peach fuzz on their nuts and I did not.

Find a cougar website. Allegedly, they dig that kind of thing.

dlazz;777487 wrote:I've banged a little over 100 men.

Today.

I believe it.

justincredible;777481 wrote:Probably. Sucks for them because I'm one boring son of a bitch.

Yes, remember, we've met.

dlazz;777487 wrote:I've banged a little over 100 bitches.

Today.

I'm still a little sore in the anal. Just slighty, though.

I broke my left collarbone twice. It hurts really fucking bad.

Nowadays, I'm generally pretty healthy. Might catch a cold and be down for a couple of days, but overall, I don't get sick often.

When I was young, I was always sick, it seemed. Elementary school = respiratory ailments for me. Influenza, Bronchitis, Walking Pneumonia, Whooping Cough. Had them all between 2-6 grades to the point where I didn't come that far from winding up having to be held back one year (the walking pneumonia one) simply for missing too many days (having a mom who worked in the school system and made sure that I didn't fall behind in work probably was a big factor in that).

Seventh grade, I didn't get sick and wound up with a perfect attendance on the year and from then on, I've never been more ill than a regular cold that a couple days of rest couldn't get rid of. Just weird to me that between sixth and seventh grades, it seems like a switch in my body got flipped and I suddenly had an actual immune system.

Was attacked 4 different times by birds before the age of 12 and was very close to getting into a scrap with Marilyn Manson's bodyguard at a Type O Negative concert.

Heretic;777558 wrote:Nowadays, I'm generally pretty healthy. Might catch a cold and be down for a couple of days, but overall, I don't get sick often.

When I was young, I was always sick, it seemed. Elementary school = respiratory ailments for me. Influenza, Bronchitis, Walking Pneumonia, Whooping Cough. Had them all between 2-6 grades to the point where I didn't come that far from winding up having to be held back one year (the walking pneumonia one) simply for missing too many days (having a mom who worked in the school system and made sure that I didn't fall behind in work probably was a big factor in that).

Seventh grade, I didn't get sick and wound up with a perfect attendance on the year and from then on, I've never been more ill than a regular cold that a couple days of rest couldn't get rid of. Just weird to me that between sixth and seventh grades, it seems like a switch in my body got flipped and I suddenly had an actual immune system.

Could be the drugs; can't be a mere coincidence that you suddenly got healthy when you started the weed. You could probably make a couple dimes leading a non-profit organization that touts your medical miracle.

Heretic;777558 wrote:Nowadays, I'm generally pretty healthy. Might catch a cold and be down for a couple of days, but overall, I don't get sick often.

When I was young, I was always sick, it seemed. Elementary school = respiratory ailments for me. Influenza, Bronchitis, Walking Pneumonia, Whooping Cough. Had them all between 2-6 grades to the point where I didn't come that far from winding up having to be held back one year (the walking pneumonia one) simply for missing too many days (having a mom who worked in the school system and made sure that I didn't fall behind in work probably was a big factor in that).

Seventh grade, I didn't get sick and wound up with a perfect attendance on the year and from then on, I've never been more ill than a regular cold that a couple days of rest couldn't get rid of. Just weird to me that between sixth and seventh grades, it seems like a switch in my body got flipped and I suddenly had an actual immune system.

Is that when you started taking it up the butt?

I survived a plane crash a few weeks ago. Idiots backed the plane into a wall leaving the gate and mangled the tail. That was a bit of an inconvenience, but not quite as bad as the time the plane caught on fire while in the air and we had to make an emergency landing in the desert.

enigmaax;777568 wrote:Could be the drugs; can't be a mere coincidence that you suddenly got healthy when you started the weed. You could probably make a couple dimes leading a non-profit organization that touts your medical miracle.

YES!!!!!!!

ernest_t_bass;777571 wrote:Is that when you started taking it up the butt?

...yes...

enigmaax;777568 wrote:Could be the drugs; can't be a mere coincidence that you suddenly got healthy when you started the weed. You could probably make a couple dimes leading a non-profit organization that touts your medical miracle.

If you're not in marketing, you should be.

1_beast;777081 wrote:I broke my neck and was paralyzed for 5 days...7-17-99.....28 days later i walked out of the hostipal ( with a leg brace, a halo, a cane)...but walked out, none the less.

Wow. What happened?

I broke my femur when I was 6 trying to be Evel Knievel.

I have surfed Lake Erie.

I use to ride pro MX.

I come from a family of 12.

Also, I was pooped on by a bird and stung by a bee within an hour of each other (back when I had my Wrangler).

I've never been stung by a bee or a wasp.

I had a kydney removed bc of Cancer 7 yrs ago and have been in remission since.


Now I pee alot. LOL

Steel Valley Football;777519 wrote:I'm still a little sore in the anal. Just slighty, though.

Steel Valley Football;777666 wrote:Also, I was pooped on by a bird and stung by a bee within an hour of each other (back when I had my Wrangler).

You seem like someone I wouldn't like

Should be dead …

Almost drowned twice, rode my hot wheels into traffic, fell off a three story roof, number of car wrecks, motorcycle crashes, apprehened a armed bank robber, drugs, stabbed, blown off APC (mines and RPG), disarmed boob traps and four duce short mortar rounds, tunnel rat/ explosive expert, shot, cancer twice and married 40 years w/ three daughters.. and now old

Hate swimming in the Ocean

Belly35;777773 wrote:disarmed boob traps

My kind of man.

Here's a cool story:

When I was studying for the bar exam, I decided to stop shaving (the law equivalent of the playoff beard). It was not a good look for me. In fact, it was affirmatively a bad look. But I digress--the basic point is that I had a beard that made me look very different than I usually do.

The bar exam is composed of two days, each of which have two sessions that run a little over three hours. Most people are very pressed for time--the content itself isn't so hard, but completing everything within the 3 hours is really tough.

I work fast (queue jokes re Mrs. FFT and her disappointment with me). I finished all four sessions in under an hour each. A few people came up to me at various points and suggested that I take my time more and take it seriously, etc. But whatever--I work fast, and that's just how I roll. Of course, I found out later that I passed with flying colors and had room to spare.

Fast forward a few months. I had shaved and started working, so I looked completely different (fuzzy beard + jeans to clean shaven with a suit). I was at the swearing-in ceremony for the bar. We were standing in line to head into the Supreme Court chambers to be sworn in. The people in front of me in line were talking about the bar exam, and the topic came up about that crazy guy with a beard who didn't take the exam seriously. They were laughing about what a moron that guy was and how he clearly failed the bar. Apparently, they didn't recognize the clean-shaven and suited FFT. So I, of course, joined in and helped make fun of that crazy guy with the beard who probably failed the bar.

I would've pointed out to them that it was me, but two things: (1) this was a surreal, only-in-the-movies experience, and it was just too hilarious to let them keep going, and (2) they had just talked about how none of the three had jobs and were really worried about student loans, while I have a pretty solid job at a great firm. I just couldn't be heartless and ruin their fun (and essentially gloat), so I let it go.

Cool story, I know, but also 100% true.

fan_from_texas;777808 wrote:Here's a cool story:

When I was studying for the bar exam, I decided to stop shaving (the law equivalent of the playoff beard). It was not a good look for me. In fact, it was affirmatively a bad look. But I digress--the basic point is that I had a beard that made me look very different than I usually do.

The bar exam is composed of two days, each of which have two sessions that run a little over three hours. Most people are very pressed for time--the content itself isn't so hard, but completing everything within the 3 hours is really tough.

I work fast (queue jokes re Mrs. FFT and her disappointment with me). I finished all four sessions in under an hour each. A few people came up to me at various points and suggested that I take my time more and take it seriously, etc. But whatever--I work fast, and that's just how I roll. Of course, I found out later that I passed with flying colors and had room to spare.

Fast forward a few months. I had shaved and started working, so I looked completely different (fuzzy beard + jeans to clean shaven with a suit). I was at the swearing-in ceremony for the bar. We were standing in line to head into the Supreme Court chambers to be sworn in. The people in front of me in line were talking about the bar exam, and the topic came up about that crazy guy with a beard who didn't take the exam seriously. They were laughing about what a moron that guy was and how he clearly failed the bar. Apparently, they didn't recognize the clean-shaven and suited FFT. So I, of course, joined in and helped make fun of that crazy guy with the beard who probably failed the bar.

I would've pointed out to them that it was me, but two things: (1) this was a surreal, only-in-the-movies experience, and it was just too hilarious to let them keep going, and (2) they had just talked about how none of the three had jobs and were really worried about student loans, while I have a pretty solid job at a great firm. I just couldn't be heartless and ruin their fun (and essentially gloat), so I let it go.

Cool story, I know, but also 100% true.

FFTFTW!

Belly35;777773 wrote:Should be dead …

Almost drowned twice, rode my hot wheels into traffic, fell off a three story roof, number of car wrecks, motorcycle crashes, apprehened a armed bank robber, drugs, stabbed, blown off APC (mines and RPG), disarmed boob traps and four duce short mortar rounds, tunnel rat/ explosive expert, shot, cancer twice and married 40 years w/ three daughters.. and now old

Hate swimming in the Ocean

C'mon you can say it...... I'm a closet Democrat!

DeyDurkie5;777768 wrote:You seem like someone I would like in my mouth.

Fixed.

Steel Valley Football;777828 wrote:Fixed.

clever

LOL you're a good sport.