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Divorced folks in the OC.....

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Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Mar 3, 2011 5:35 PM
fan_from_texas;698646 wrote:Not a divorce lawyer here--married to a psychotherapist (marriage/family therapist). After seeing people go through divorces, it's always expensive and ugly. It's usually easier and cheaper to work on the marriage and make it right than it is to fight over it.

As the old song goes, "It's Cheaper to Keep Her"

That being said, I was divorced about 10 years ago (have since remarried to a wonderful woman). I believe there is a lot of truth that regardless of whether you lived together first, once the rings slide on that finger, some people become different people afterwards. Spouses take each other for granted, have different expectations of the other in a marriage (as opposed to being a bf/gf or a live-in, etc.). When you factor children and economics into the mix is snowballs into a complete mess. My advice to the guy is that if they are having these issues now, they should end it before they drag other people into it, namely children. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Mar 3, 2011 5:35pm
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Mar 3, 2011 9:10 PM
enigmaax;698420 wrote:I am dumb...and confused. I would think the OP is Spouse B, but also that Spouse B is the woman. Because what guy is gonna get ran like that? So is the OP a woman or just a really weakass dude? Or, is the OP really not either of them (which I find hard to believe, but he/she keeps referring to "them")?
enigmaax;698430 wrote:That was my guess, too. So now is OP a girl or a gigantic pussy?
spouse B is a man. It is even stated in the post.
spouse a loved how close spouse b was with his family and now spouse b is not allowed to spend any time around his family
spouse b can't be around HIS family. Spouse B is clearly a weakass man, as you put it.
fan_from_texas;698646 wrote:Not a divorce lawyer here--married to a psychotherapist (marriage/family therapist). After seeing people go through divorces, it's always expensive and ugly. It's usually easier and cheaper to work on the marriage and make it right than it is to fight over it.

I get that your wife is a therapist, no need to call her psycho.
Mar 3, 2011 9:10pm
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Mar 3, 2011 9:22 PM
dwccrew;698842 wrote:spouse B is a man. It is even stated in the post.



spouse b can't be around HIS family. Spouse B is clearly a weakass man, as you put it.


I get that your wife is a therapist, no need to call her psycho.

I admitted I was dumb - thanks for helping my stupid ass out. Spouse B ain't winning like Charlie Sheen. Pussy.
Mar 3, 2011 9:22pm
ClayAikenation's avatar

ClayAikenation

Member

89 posts
Mar 3, 2011 10:47 PM
I think you forgot one important detail...do you fancy yourself to the gay persuasion?
Mar 3, 2011 10:47pm
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Mar 3, 2011 11:56 PM
enigmaax;698854 wrote:I admitted I was dumb - thanks for helping my stupid ass out. Spouse B ain't winning like Charlie Sheen. Pussy.

Is anyone really winning like Charlie Sheen? I mean his life is perfect and bitchin' and he is winning every second.
Mar 3, 2011 11:56pm
CinciX12's avatar

CinciX12

Senior Member

2,874 posts
Mar 4, 2011 1:02 AM
Charlie Sheen sleeping with Bree Olson is the best example in recent memory of why you shouldn't bother with marriage. You should get two random whores to live with you. They can now just sleep in the kids rooms. Now that is bi-winning.
Mar 4, 2011 1:02am
O

oldmarriedfool

Junior Member

10 posts
Mar 9, 2011 10:01 AM
good info and advice on here. thanx. xpected some of the comments but suprised it stayed on topic as much as it did. still struggling around with it. decision was made for about 24 hrs to meet with an attorney to end it and those were the most relaxing 24 hours in a long time. then spouse a decided to change mind and try to work it all out. back came the stress and anxiety.

what does it say when the 'best' time was when both had decided to end it? there was a calm and a peace. i guess the original questoin was what type of way would the law split assets if there has only been half a dozen house payments. would spouse A be awarded basically half of the payments already made orj ust down payment? to be honest part of it is the fear of spouse b if they could afford to pay what spouse a would be awarded.
Mar 9, 2011 10:01am
FatHobbit's avatar

FatHobbit

Senior Member

8,651 posts
Mar 9, 2011 1:32 PM
Just curious, did you consider marriage counseling? Or talk about it with your spouse?
oldmarriedfool;704748 wrote:then spouse a decided to change mind and try to work it all out. back came the stress and anxiety.
It takes two people to try to work it out. If you really wanted out, you would be.
Mar 9, 2011 1:32pm
J

JU-ICE

Senior Member

259 posts
Mar 9, 2011 1:46 PM
They are better off getting a disolution and not a divorce. As far as the house goes, we were in ours for three years before our marriage ended, I got the house and a clause was put in that if I sold the house within a year she got 50% of any money made on the sale, it went to 40% then to 30% and nothing if I sold it after three years.
Mar 9, 2011 1:46pm
dwccrew's avatar

dwccrew

Not Banned

7,817 posts
Mar 10, 2011 2:08 AM
JU-ICE;705062 wrote:They are better off getting a disolution and not a divorce. As far as the house goes, we were in ours for three years before our marriage ended, I got the house and a clause was put in that if I sold the house within a year she got 50% of any money made on the sale, it went to 40% then to 30% and nothing if I sold it after three years.

Please tell me you waited 3 years...
Mar 10, 2011 2:08am
O

oldmarriedfool

Junior Member

10 posts
Mar 23, 2011 5:06 PM
as an update.

things are going, well, they are going. the d word gets discussed alot. spouse a brings it up often and threatens it. when spouse b finally gives in then spouse a changes her tune and now says spouse a does not want it and it will all be on spouse b. so if it wants done spouse b will have to do it.

basically looks like spouse a wants it but wants spouse b to do it to make spouse b look like the bad person. how else can that be construed? spouse a pushes and pushes then when spouse b agrees spouse a backs down.

so the misery continues
Mar 23, 2011 5:06pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Mar 23, 2011 5:08 PM
Sounds like spouse b is being manipulated. Better lawyer up.
Mar 23, 2011 5:08pm
Speedofsand's avatar

Speedofsand

Troublemaker

5,529 posts
Mar 23, 2011 6:36 PM
oldmarriedfool;722159 wrote:as an update.

things are going, well, they are going. the d word gets discussed alot. spouse a brings it up often and threatens it. when spouse b finally gives in then spouse a changes her tune and now says spouse a does not want it and it will all be on spouse b. so if it wants done spouse b will have to do it.

basically looks like spouse a wants it but wants spouse b to do it to make spouse b look like the bad person. how else can that be construed? spouse a pushes and pushes then when spouse b agrees spouse a backs down.

so the misery continues

why? miserable and married is no way to go through life. You can get another chance at marriage, you only get one chance to live life happy.
spouse b needs to get a lawyer, separate finances, and gtfo.
Mar 23, 2011 6:36pm
Little Danny's avatar

Little Danny

Senior Member

4,288 posts
Mar 23, 2011 7:38 PM
Speedofsand;722207 wrote:why? miserable and married is no way to go through life. You can get another chance at marriage, you only get one chance to live life happy.
spouse b needs to get a lawyer, separate finances, and gtfo.

Agreed
Mar 23, 2011 7:38pm
1_beast's avatar

1_beast

Senior Member

5,642 posts
Mar 23, 2011 7:42 PM
Leave an upper decker before you go to work :)
Mar 23, 2011 7:42pm
Cat Food Flambe''s avatar

Cat Food Flambe'

Senior Member

1,230 posts
Mar 23, 2011 11:26 PM
THE4RINGZ;722165 wrote:Sounds like spouse b is being manipulated. Better lawyer up.

Sounds like Spouse A is a neurotic mess - and a candidate for a psychiatric case study. o.O
Mar 23, 2011 11:26pm
E

enigmaax

Senior Member

4,511 posts
Mar 24, 2011 2:16 PM
oldmarriedfool;722159 wrote:as an update.

things are going, well, they are going. the d word gets discussed alot. spouse a brings it up often and threatens it. when spouse b finally gives in then spouse a changes her tune and now says spouse a does not want it and it will all be on spouse b. so if it wants done spouse b will have to do it.

basically looks like spouse a wants it but wants spouse b to do it to make spouse b look like the bad person. how else can that be construed? spouse a pushes and pushes then when spouse b agrees spouse a backs down.

so the misery continues

Is Spouse B still banging Spouse A?
Mar 24, 2011 2:16pm
THE4RINGZ's avatar

THE4RINGZ

R.I.P Thread Bomber

16,816 posts
Mar 24, 2011 2:18 PM
Please refer to my earlier post on this thread regarding an air tight alibi.
Mar 24, 2011 2:18pm