As a woman, here's my guess:

She just wanted to see if you'd do it. Much like somebody else already said. Hate to break it to ya, but that's the scenario that makes the most sense.
I mean, there's no cafeteria? She couldn't order in? Brown bag? Vending machines?

So, yeah. She was sort of testing those waters.

CenterBHSFan;560069 wrote:As a woman, here's my guess:

She just wanted to see if you'd do it. Much like somebody else already said. Hate to break it to ya, but that's the scenario that makes the most sense.
I mean, there's no cafeteria? She couldn't order in? Brown bag? Vending machines?

So, yeah. She was sort of testing those waters.

So, yeah thank you and no I'm not available. Lol

friendfromlowry;559962 wrote:You work in a hospital as a PCA? What is that -- I'm not familiar with it. I work in one as a PCT.
She works in your standard telemetry unit -- assigned to 4-5 patients. By the time I'd get there, it'd be near 7pm and dayshift would be leaving and night-shift would be coming on. Obviously she'd be staying but it's still hard to find time away at shift change.

'Patient Care Assistant'. Essentially I do the crap that she does not want to lol. I do all the stuff that doesn't require what is an 'assessment'.

CinciX12;560130 wrote:'Patient Care Assistant'. Essentially I do the crap that she does not want to lol. I do all the stuff that doesn't require what is an 'assessment'.

Okay we're basically the same thing. You going to school for anything medically related?

ccrunner609;559986 wrote:Friend........did you here they took all the pines out at Lowry? Total bullshit

smh

friendfromlowry;560135 wrote:Okay we're basically the same thing. You going to school for anything medically related?

BSN. Graduate in May. PCT is 'Patient Care Technician' right?

Yeah, everyone has a different name for it. I assume you're from Cincinnati? Are they known as PCA's down there?

She was testing you and you failed.

friendfromlowry;559983 wrote:Bigdogg - you're not understanding the situation, I left a lot out mainly because it doesn't contribute to the current predicament. If you can reason that she's overly-demanding from given information....then I'd probably agree, but it has nothing to do with still being married and needing time to go by. There's more to it than that. She's not still legally married.

My friend I have given you sound advice from first hand experience. Until the court says so she is married and emotionally not in any place to start another long term relationship. You are playing with fire.

I'm going to take a contrarian point of view......

She is working a 16 hour shift. What is an extra 30-40 minute drive to do a nice thing for her.....if you really care for her. So what if you may only get to see her for 15 minutes...its the small things in a relationship that count for alot. She obviously needs your assistance here, why not help her out?

You have no problem crowing about your willingness to drive....why would this be any different?

Sounds to me that, if you don't get anything out of it, its not worth doing.

1. I agree with the "don't mess with a married woman" sentiment. And yes, if the divorce isn't final by a judge, she is still married.
2. If you like the girl, you should have went. Period. Reasonable or not, women don't think logically they think emotionally. Men are typically more logical; women are more emotional. Its a fact of life.

Since you never have to drive to see her I hardly think an extra 30 minutes one time would have killed you. Why does it have to be about spending quality time with each other? Can't it just be you being a nice guy and taking her lunch/dinner because she is working a double? My boyfriend lives 2 hours away so that's not really an option for us...but if he asked me to bring him something and I was able to I would. If I got to sit with him and eat the food great...if not oh well. I still did something nice for him which is turn would make me feel good.

tk421;560042 wrote:If the divorce isn't final, she's married.

Bingo!

ccrunner609;559986 wrote:Friend........did you HEAR they took all the pines out at Lowry? Total bullshit

moron

FFL.. like others have said she was probably testing you. You probably should have gone and saw her and gotten lunch for her. If you've been dating for 2-3 months though and she doesn't want to stay over whats the reasoning behind her not staying?

Also who cares if shes still techincally married. Hope things work out for you man. The little things always seem to make the biggest difference.

Maybe if you would have passed the test, you would be getting the Buttsecks tonight. As it looks to me now, you will probably be digitally manipulating yourself this evening.

LOSER!!!

For those of you who said she put me up to a test and I failed and this is my fault, let me fill you in on the most recent events...
After Monday night's debacle, things were fine. We talked for a while, I reassured I really was interested in her and willing to show effort, I apologized for screwing up, and we moved on.
Tuesday night we hung out -- I drove and met her halfway and took her back to my place, then back to her car later. So this was me trying to put in more effort, so she's not doing all the driving.
Wednesday was fine, we didn't hang out, but everything was good.
SO LAST NIGHT, I was feeling pretty anxious/depressed (I've always had problems with those) and she was out drinking with her friends (she said she was blowing a .20 already and it was 8pm, yes her friends have a breathalyzer) So I did the next best thing for myself - I went to work out, that always helps me. Since it was 8:30pm on a Thursday in November, I had to drive 15 minutes to the nearest Y. When I told her this later, she flipped a shit. She brought up Monday, how I'd drive all that way to work out, but wouldn't drive to see her at work (I live out in the middle of nowhere, I have to drive 10-15 minutes to get to any store)
So it was like nothing had changed. She was still mad (what could I do at that point?? It was three days ago. I'm trying to move on and improve) She basically didn't care at all how I was feeling. So she went on to pretty much break up with me via text (while still out drinking) and said I didnt put in effort -- she wasn't getting anything in return from me.
I won't bore us with the details, but the idea that she doesn't get anything in return from me is BS.
So I don't know...if she legitimately has a reason to be mad or if I'm really just with a psycho and should relish that she's telling me it's over. Thoughts?

Unfortunately she doesn't need a "legitimate" reason to break up. If this is the excuse she is going to lean on then picking it apart to make her break-up seem less valid isn't going to make you feel any better. It's just going to delay the healing process.


Start the healing process now. Don't belabor the details here. She has decided to stop seeing you. Make this as healthy as possible for yourself.

The more recent events only confirm the theory that she was testing you and you failed. She might not have even thought about it as "I'm going to test him," but she got information about you (actions speak louder than words) and that pretty much ruined your chances. Lesson learned, move on.

I do agree with Con_alma and Fly4Fun, but if she really was blowing .20 she probably has no memory of your conversations. If I were you, I might send her a txt once she sobers up just to see what happens.

Personally, if she's going to use that incident as criteria to break up with you, or hold something against you... to hell with her. To me, that incident is too damn trifling to hold on to and keep bringing up days later. If you're going to do that, there's more important things that can come up to do it with.
Since we don't know all the details I can only assume that she's stuck in the cry-baby, fit throwing, whiney bitch mode. If that's your thing and you think you can work that out of her, try again with her. It might be a never-ending process, though.
If that's not something you want to put the effort into, let her go so she can go and lay that crap on somebody else.

One more thing, if she was out with friends, drinking that heavily; that tells me she/friends were having one big bitchfest about you. And, what a cowardly way of doing things... with a freakin text.

Move on dude, and get somebody who ain't into the whole "f_cking or fighting" type of relationship.

Well if you want to keep dating then hopefully she will apoligize for being a drunken fool....most of us have been there. Even if she was just telling you her feelings that is no way to go about it. All you can do is keep your word...you said you were interested and you would put in more effort. If you do she should notice (it may take a few weeks)...if not I'd say it's time to break it off for good.

Ha ha...damn I wish I would have seen this before the "resolution". I knew in the first post she was banging other dudes. You had become no longer worth the hassle because she could get some local dick - the only thing that might have saved you is if you were something "special", you know, willing to go out of your way more than the average dude. And you proved you were nothing special, so ......

It was going to end badly regardless because you were just a rebound. Be glad you didn't get too serious and then surprise her in the middle of one of her drunken slut fests!

So now she's super pissed. She's putting in all the effort and not sure if she's getting an equal return from me. She said this instance wasn't the breaking point, that I had done this before. When I asked for specific examples, she couldn't list any so take that for what it's worth.

I'm not one to call your girlfriend a bitch, but seriously she's a bitch. She's not super pissed because you didn't come, she's pissed because you called her out for being irrational.

I'd evaluate how much you value her and the relationship and consider moving on.

The only thing more special than local dick is cash, so if you really want her back, you better start saving up.