Last night was orientation for my oldest son's school. It's technically all-day preschool...they call it K4. It's at the private christian school I started a thread about earlier. Anyway, he is 4 and they allow 4 year old's to play soccer. So we signed him up. It turns out they don't have a coach for either of their two teams yet. They pleaded with me (a complete stranger and not even a member of their church) to coach....I finally said I'd help. Here's the problem.

1. I hate soccer.
2. I know nothing about soccer. I can't even tell you how many players are supposed to be on the field.

Does anyone on here coach U6 soccer or has anyone in the past? Any soccer players willing to give some advice?

Honestly at that age you really don't need to know any rules. Just let them have fun without using their hands, try to make them use both feet (some probably aren't coordinated for that yet). Use cones to work on dribbling, they will think it's fun. When I have more time I'll post more about things you can do.

At that age it's all about teaching footwork.

My oldest plays travel soccer and one time when he was a U-10 the coach called and asked me if I would help coach one game because he was going to be gone. The assistant would run it and I would help out. Both 1 & 2 pertain to me too. I show up at the game and not even the assistant was there. I had to run the whole thing by myself. I had no clue how many kids to put on the field, the name of the positions, or anything. I will never agree to help out with soccer again.

Rider_In_Ttown;460282 wrote:My oldest plays travel soccer and one time when he was a U-10 the coach called and asked me if I would help coach one game because he was going to be gone. The assistant would run it and I would help out. Both 1 & 2 pertain to me too. I show up at the game and not even the assistant was there. I had to run the whole thing by myself. I had no clue how many kids to put on the field, the name of the positions, or anything. I will never agree to help out with soccer again.

Wow...thanks for the comforting words of advice Rider....

Keys to coaching U-5 soccer...

1. Make sure some Mom (MILF preferably) brings orange slices or juice boxes
2. Put the Fat Kid in at goalie
3. Find one kid who can actually kick the ball at least 10 yds and then run after it and kick it 10 yds again - play this kid the entire game
4. Tell everyone else to chase after the "good kid" - they may get lucky and be in position to kick one of his ricochets
5. The other team will most likely have one "good kid" too. Identify this kid early on and tell one of your kids to never leave this kid's side no matter what, even if he goes to the restroom.

Snot... its fun... i'm coaching my two son's on the u8 team had them u6 at the YMCA last year.... just run around have fun and don't let them use hands... once they start to get the hang of it you can start to implement Offensive and Defensive players... and it does help to keep them on O or D once they get use to it.. like dave said tho.. just have fun and be safe!

This is a no lose situation for you. If the team tanks, you can claim you told them before taking over the team you knew nothing about the sport. If you win the league championship you will look like a genius.

Find the hottest soccer mom and take special interest in her kid, make him the star, suggest you swing by to work with him on his skills when daddy is at work. Once you get to her house the rest is up to you. But I suggest taking a shower first.

THE4RINGZ;460324 wrote:This is a no lose situation for you. If the team tanks, you can claim you told them before taking over the team you knew nothing about the sport. If you win the league championship you will look like a genius.

Find the hottest soccer mom and take special interest in her kid, make him the star, suggest you swing by to work with him on his skills when daddy is at work. Once you get to her house the rest is up to you. But I suggest taking a shower first.

THAT is EXACTLY the type of advice I was looking for! Thank you!

You're welcome. Just trying to help!!!!!!!!!!!

I coached my daughter's soccer team for a couple of years. I knew nothing about soccer and don't really like to watch it other than when my kid plays. (I think you'll find it much more interesting when you're chearing for your own kid.) I didn't really like coaching, but it gave us something to bond over and for some reason she liked telling everyone that her dad was the coach. My job was to basically put the kids on the field and then cheer for them to keep running. I felt more like a cheerleader than a coach. We only had one practice a week and then a game on Saturday so it wasn't much of a time commitment. I say go for it. If you don't like it you can always tell them you don't want to do it next year.

So, you know nothing about soccer, but are coaching it.

This is the perfect opportunity to boost your kid's self-esteem at the expense of others. Coddle him and make him out to be the team's star, while mercilessly berating every other kid on the team to the point where you're screaming obscenities concerning their lack of ability right into their stupid little four-year-old faces. For reference, watch the Simpsons episode where Homer coached Bart's youth football team and then be 10 times the dictator he was.

When parents complain their kid isn't getting enough playing time, explain just exactly what the parents can do to get junior on the field more. Bribery.

It is the American way. Be proud of your heritage.

He should be playing football this isn't Europe

gerb131;460396 wrote:He should be playing football this isn't Europe

In his last picture posted here he was wearing Cubs gear. 'Nough said.

Just don't forget the quarter waters and cookies, or else the kids will turn on you

THE4RINGZ;460400 wrote:In his last picture posted here he was wearing Cubs gear. 'Nough said.

Yeah, but at least soccer has global respect. The Cubs have nothing and like it!

From a soccer player. You should make sure the kids have fun first. As for coaching make sure each kid plays every position on the field throughout the season. Everyone needs to play goalie at least once no matter how scared they are. Also teach the kids the positions ie. forward midfield defense goalie but, once the game starts their so young they will all look like a group of bumble bees. As for practices make sure the kids start by stretching and a lap around the field. Some good drill for kids this age are dribbling through cones and taking a shot after getting through the cones. Just Put the kids in a line and let them shoot on goal. Another fun game to end practice with is a game called Shark. In Shark every kid has a ball inside a circle and dibbles around until their ball leaves the circle at this point anyone can steal someones ball and kick it out. Other then working on dribbling and shooting just break the kids up into fair teams and let them play during practice.

Let's revisit the original post and work through a scenario here:

Snot has his kid at a soccer orientation. They ask for a volunteer coach. Snot gets elected as the coach, this much we know.

What we don't know, but I would love to know is, what the hell was wrong with the other parents at the meeting? Who chooses Snot to babysit errrrrr coach your kid? I can only imagine what the other parents are like......remember the scene in the movie Star Wars when they walk into that bar? Yeah, those must be the other parents. Are all the other parents legally disallowed from being around groups of young children? Would someone be in violation of their parole by stepping up and coaching the Ladybugs? These are questions I would love to see answered.

Can you please enlighten us as to what kind of families these kids come from Coach?

RINGZ

This was the first runner-up in the vote to determine the head coach, if it's of any help to you in answering your question.

This is a private Christian school. I'm the worst guy the could have chosen and these kids are going to have a whole new vocabulary by the end of the season.

If your kid actually wants to play soccer or you think he'll want to play for a while (into high school and beyond) then you should really look into what program you're sending him to. Many youth programs in the US are, to be blunt, crap. It's part of the reason why we've had such a hard time on the world stage. If you teach all your players bad habits it's hard for them to grow into good players.

It's gotten a lot better in the last 15 or so years though so that's good.

My guess is he will do like me. He'll play soccer until it interferes with football (which for me was like 3rd grade). The "school" he is playing for is the only team in the league that is a school. The rest are area cities and villages. They are usually one of the better soccer teams. However....with me as the head coach....I'm afraid I'll break the trend. I just need some instruction and to know the rules. I have no problem leading the kids and getting them motivated. If this were football, baseball or even basketball....we'd win the U6 national title.

SnotBubbles;460532 wrote:My guess is he will do like me. He'll play soccer until it interferes with football (which for me was like 3rd grade). The "school" he is playing for is the only team in the league that is a school. The rest are area cities and villages. They are usually one of the better soccer teams. However....with me as the head coach....I'm afraid I'll break the trend. I just need some instruction and to know the rules. I have no problem leading the kids and getting them motivated. If this were football, baseball or even basketball....we'd win the U6 national title.

at that young, it doesn't matter about tactics and all that...play games at practice like world cup, knockout(same as basketball knockout just with penaltys), and focus on teaching them the basics. passing, shooting, controlling the ball...The main thing at that age is to keep them entertained while teaching them at the same time..If you want any more advice or fun drills just PM me and I can help your gay ass out

SnotBubbles;460532 wrote:My guess is he will do like me. He'll play soccer until it interferes with football (which for me was like 3rd grade). The "school" he is playing for is the only team in the league that is a school. The rest are area cities and villages. They are usually one of the better soccer teams. However....with me as the head coach....I'm afraid I'll break the trend. I just need some instruction and to know the rules. I have no problem leading the kids and getting them motivated. If this were football, baseball or even basketball....we'd win the U6 national title.

Does this league play with the off sides rule?