Example 1: Booty Pop

These are nothing more than padded granny panties. They look ugly, I don't know how anyone could even sit down in them, they don't make anything look sexy, they make your ass lopsided, and I can't for the life of me understand why any women would wear them.


Example 2: Isafe Backpack

Just saw this one. It is a backpack that has a ripcord built in under one of the straps that sets off a novelty alarm and blinking light when it is yanked. The commercial shows a bunch of students in a locker room starting to gain up on a girl, but she quickly runs to her backpack and pulls the cord, at which point all of the students run away in fear. Bullshit. The kid gets their ass kicked after the alarm gets stomped on and destroyed, or they get their ass kicked even worse when they don't have their backpack. Seriously, who would buy this crap?


Example 3: Cami Secret

Ladies, seriously? Is this actually something you would buy? You could do the same thing with a lace napkin and tape, and it would probably look better. For those of you who haven't seen this, it is a camisole, but instead of an actual camisole, it is just a little fabric square that is taped to the bra.


Example 4: The Sonic Dog Trainer

Now this item in itself is seemingly a decent idea, but there is a line in those commercials that says "scare of animals while hiking." Seriously, there are two types of animals. The first type is more scared of you than you are of it and will run when they see, hear, or smell you coming anyway, and the second type will eat that damn alarm as dessert after they eat you. Bears don't give a crap.

I saw the dog thing tonight

"Don't feel like actually training your dog? Torture the fucking thing with god awful sounds!" Just wait until that cute little dog unloads its pent up anger on a 3 year old kid because instead of training it you just hit a button that plays a sound that pisses it off yet shuts it up.

Billy Mays would have made any of these look awesome (Of course, Billy Mays probably wouldn't have pitched a product that promotes some deadbeat fuck being too lazy to train his fucking dog)

Billy Mays pitched shit that worked, so does Anthony Sullivan. These other items are pure 100 percent bullshit. I think the all time best has to be the spray on hair, but that has been a few years.

Shake weight, anyone?

What about the shoe horn one where you can stand up and put on your shoes!

agree with the isafe backpack, kidsthat wear that will totally get their shit kicked

Oh crap, I forgot about that goddamn shoedini. Gilbert Godfrey should not be allowed to talk.

I blame Jersey Shore and all of the dumb ass Twilight bullsheet.