How long have you been married?

33,369 posts 115 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Jun 28, 2020 12:51 PM
posted by Zunardo

Two months for us. 

This September we'll celebrate 31 years.

Good God, man. You have the biggest cojones on the site, bar none!
jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 32 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Jun 28, 2020 6:54 PM
posted by Ironman92

Bet I dated my wife the least amount of time before getting married 😁

Wife and I started dating long distance in November. We were only with each other for 2 weeks over Christmas. She came to visit in March for 2 weeks and I proposed.


So technically talking to each other over the phone for 4 months but had only been together for 2 weeks when we got engaged.


We were married 9 months later. 


We were only together for 5 months, but talking long distance for just over a year before we got married.


Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 138 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Jun 28, 2020 8:04 PM
posted by Zunardo
posted by Ironman92

Bet I dated my wife the least amount of time before getting married 😁

Two months for us. 

This September we'll celebrate 31 years.

Dated for 2 months? Elope?


8,788 posts 21 reps Joined Nov 2009
Sun, Jun 28, 2020 9:14 PM

We dated for 10 years, most of those we were doing long distance.This October will be six years of marriage. 

Zunardo Senior Member
815 posts 13 reps Joined Nov 2010
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 12:53 AM
posted by Ironman92
posted by Zunardo
posted by Ironman92

Bet I dated my wife the least amount of time before getting married 😁

Two months for us. 

This September we'll celebrate 31 years.

Dated for 2 months? Elope?


No, lol.  We were both 30 and had our own places at the time.

Everybody was sure she was pregnant.   We disappointed a lot of cynical folks people seven months later.

Bio-Hazzzzard Senior Member
1,055 posts 8 reps Joined Jan 2010
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 1:20 AM

I shopped for a ring 30 days after we met on a blind date, engaged at 2 months, and married one year to the day we met. It's been a great 25 years.

Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 138 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 2:28 AM

Man....more of us than I thought without much messing around lol

Started dating end of August of 1994....married March 11th 1995. Daughter born August 20th 1995 😁

sportchampps Senior Member
7,527 posts 29 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 6:09 AM

Married for almost 7 years. Started dating sometime in 2005

j_crazy 7 gram rocks. how i roll.
8,623 posts 26 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 12:08 PM

married for almost 11. dated for just over 8 before that (with a 2 month break)

OSH Kosh B'Gosh
4,424 posts 18 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 12:54 PM

We will celebrate 10 years in July. Not sure what we'll do, something small as we did an early 10-year last year to Ireland/Northern Ireland.

Dated for 3.5 years to the day we got married. Her engagement ring was a Christmas present, we got married 7 months later.

GOONx19 An exceptional poster.
7,413 posts 93 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 12:55 PM

Hit 5 years last month. Will hit 10 years together in the spring.

Con_Alma Senior Member
12,320 posts 31 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 6:56 PM

Dated for 4 years... married for 31.

like_that 1st Team All-PWN
29,228 posts 303 reps Joined Apr 2010
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 9:16 PM

2 years married on 14 July. Been together for over 7 years. Let’s hear some sage advice from the long timers here! Especially those with kids.

jmog Senior Member
7,737 posts 32 reps Joined Nov 2009
Mon, Jun 29, 2020 10:29 PM
posted by like_that

2 years married on 14 July. Been together for over 7 years. Let’s hear some sage advice from the long timers here! Especially those with kids.

No matter the age of your kids or how many, always put your marriage first and kids second. 


This sounds so counter against the current culture, but putting kids first ends up being one the main things that lead to divorce down the road. Whether its while they are growing up or when they are all adults and you have to "re-learn" your spouse. 


If you put your marriage first, raising the kids will be second nature. 


And another thing, love is not an emotion, infatuation is an emotion. Love is a choice, love is an action. 


You have to choose each day, when you wake up, that you are going to SHOW your spouse, that day, that you love him/her. And everyone understands love in different terms. Your spouse may understand love when you spend time with them, or when you buy them a gift, or when you just listen to them, or yes, during physical activities. Read the book "The 5 Love Languages". It really explains a lot.


95% of the time our spouse does not have the same love language as we do, but until you truly understand that, you try to show them love the same way you understand it. They don't feel loved the same way you do. So it falls on "deaf ears" so to speak.


If every day you wake up or go to bed with the thought "I need to show this person, not tell them, that I love them in a way they will understand it (their love language)" then a marriage can and will mend itself rather quickly.


For reference, in 2013 my wife and I almost divorced. We were a day or 2 away from a separation/not living together and it would have been divorce from there. 


After 2 days of nothing but talking about EVERYTHING, we DECIDED that divorce was not an option for us and that we both had some things we were doing to the other person that were not right. We decided that we would, every day, TRY to make the other know they were loved. 


7 years later we are still together, hasn't always been peaches and roses, but it has been much better than before 2013.

majorspark Senior Member
5,459 posts 28 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 4:15 AM

posted by jmog

And another thing, love is not an emotion, infatuation is an emotion. Love is a choice, love is an action. 


Every long lasting marriage comes to this at some point IMO.  I have been married for nearly 28yrs.  Divorce at times has been seriously discussed.  The last being when my youngest neared moving out.

Everything changes at this point in how the home and family now functions.  Its been so nice to spend so much time with my wife one on one as matured adults alone.  My advise hang in there.  Don't be tempted by the unknown green grass on the other side of the fence.

majorspark Senior Member
5,459 posts 28 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 4:36 AM
posted by like_that

2 years married on 14 July. Been together for over 7 years. Let’s hear some sage advice from the long timers here! Especially those with kids.

I agree with Jmog you and your wife are the cornerstones your kids lives will be built on.  Focus on keeping that together and you will do well.

QuakerOats Senior Member
11,701 posts 53 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 2:22 PM

Coming up on 33 years ..........together for almost 39.

Empty-nesters as of two weeks ago :)

QuakerOats Senior Member
11,701 posts 53 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 2:39 PM
posted by like_that

2 years married on 14 July. Been together for over 7 years. Let’s hear some sage advice from the long timers here! Especially those with kids.


Little things matter and you can show your devotion by doing those little things on a daily basis, i.e. take care of a chore to two that the spouse usually handles (without being asked).  You will delight your spouse; it shows you care, and it costs nothing but your time.

 

Spend personal time with your spouse on a regular basis – develop routines that allow you to be together without kids or others, so you can continue to remain on the same wavelength.

 

Sacrifice.  If you spend too much time golfing while the spouse is saddled with the kids, make a change.

 

Be careful with family relationships …..wedges with the spouse’s family and vice-versa can be uncomfortable; I’ve been lucky in this regard. Go easy, tread lightly, be a team player.

 

Be cognizant of your tone.  If you are barking at each other or if your tone of voice is out of line, it will make for rough seas.

 

Be trustworthy - period.

Ironman92 Administrator
56,729 posts 138 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 4:31 PM

Sometimes peace is better than right

justincredible Honorable Admin
37,969 posts 178 reps Joined Nov 2009
Tue, Jun 30, 2020 5:44 PM
posted by Ironman92

Sometimes peace is better than right

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